How to Bring her Back
by VillageVoice
Summary: Detective Olivia Benson’s next case leads her to a 16 year old rape victim. What Olivia discovers about this girl’s past shocks the whole squad. Is this girl the key to bringing back Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot? AO Femslash Last Chapter Up
1. Olivia and Alex's History

**Law & Order: Special Victims Unit****  
**  
**Disclaimer:** Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters associated with it belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. As much as I wish they were mine, they never will be. All other characters and places are mine. If there is a real person or place that I have named in my story, it is purely coincidental.  
  
**Summary:** Detective Olivia Benson's next case leads her to a 16-year-old rape victim. While investigating her case, the two become close. But what Olivia discovers about this girl's past shocks the whole squad. Is this girl the key to bringing back Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot?

**Reviews welcome, but please be nice.**

* * *

**SVU Squadroom**

Detective Olivia Benson sat at her desk in the empty squadroom looking at a picture she had sitting in a frame on her desk. It was a picture of her and the former Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot. The picture was taken at the Cabot's summerhouse up in York Beach. It was a bright, sunny summer day in early August almost two years earlier. They were celebrating the one-year anniversary of their first date, so Alex's parents had let them have the house for the week. Luckily, they both had so much unused vacation time that they were able to go without arousing suspicion.

Olivia sat there thinking, as she always did when she looked at the picture. Naturally, she began to think of Alex and a million and one questions flew through her mind. Where is Alex? Is she safe? What is she doing? What is she thinking about? Is she happy? Has she found someone new? Is she still alive? Those are just a few of the long lists of questions that haunted Olivia every day. But the truth is, she didn't know and she wouldn't until Alex came back, if she came back.

Then she got to thinking of how life had changed since Alec's 'death'. For one thing, she didn't spend half the time at Alex's apartment that she used to. To go along with the story that Alex had died, the Feds had turned Alex's apartment over to her parents and they had, in turn, given it to Olivia. As much as she loved being in the spacious apartment rather than her own cramped apartment, it was just too painful at times. Sometimes when she was there, her longing for Alex became unbearable, but at other times being in the apartment made her feel close to Alex.

She had also become more distant from people at work. She couldn't even remember the last time she confided in Elliot. Before Alex's 'death', they had shared everything, even that she and Alex were together. She also didn't feel like yelling at Munch when he voiced his conspiracy theories or when he claimed to be sick when there was a case that needed immediate attention in the middle of the night. Fin's jokes didn't seem funny anymore and when Cragen yelled at her, she just turned a deaf ear.

Although, she had befriended Casey Novak, the new ADA assigned to Special Victims. They had a lot in common and had become good friends, but Casey wasn't Alex.

Olivia used to love life and live every day to the fullest. She went horseback riding, swimming, rock climbing, kickboxing and to other similar activities a few times a month. She and Alex also would go to the movies, out to dinner or to a club at least once a week, in addition to their morning runs through Central Park. But now all she does is work, eat, sleep and repeat the process over and over, day after day. But now all of her free time was spent trying to find a way to bring Alex back, by working on any and all cases related to Alex and Cesar Valez.

She felt a single tear roll down her cheek and immediately wiped it away. No one was in the room, she knew that, but she also knew that there were other people in the building and seeing as it is a police station, anyone could walk in at moment. There were also security cameras through out the squadroom. It would be bad enough to have someone see her crying, but it would be an entirely different ballgame to have it on tape.


	2. Girls Night Out

**SVU Squadroom – June 3, 2005 8:10pm**

It was Friday night. The night Olivia had been waiting nearly two weeks for because every second and fourth Friday of the month, Olivia and Casey had a 'Girls Night Out.'

During the year and a half since Casey had been assigned to Special Victims the two had become very good friends, which was only natural seeing as they're the only two women in the unit. So, to escape the horrors of their job, they decided to have a night where they could just hang out and relax. Most of the time it was just Olivia and Casey, but once in a while they would invite a friend or two to join them. On these nights, they would go to the movies, out to dinner or to a club. They have even been known to go shopping on occasion. But regardless of what they choose to do, these nights are times for fun, where no mention of work is allowed.

Olivia glanced at her watch and saw that she only had twenty minutes until Casey was supposed to meet her. She quickly grabbed her bag and headed towards the bathroom. Normally it only would have taken her about five minutes to get ready, but since they were going to a club it could take her anywhere from ten to twenty-five minutes.

About fifteen minutes later, Olivia was ready. She was now in a pair of slim-fitting black boot cut pants and a shimmery blood red spaghetti-strap tank along with her favorite pair of high-heeled black boots. Her hair was gelled and out of her face and she had even added eye shadow, mascara, lipstick and a touch of blush to finish off her new look.

She exited the bathroom as she was putting in her last earring, which was almost the exact same shade of red that her shirt was. When she got closer to her desk it became obvious that she was no longer the only one in the room. She put her bag down by her desk and put on her leather jacket that had been resting on the back of her chair.

"You're early councilor."

Casey turned the chair that she was sitting in around so that she was now facing Olivia. "Yeah well, my detectives haven't brought me and tough cases lately, so I was able to get out a little earlier that usual." She stood up and returned Elliot's chair to its normal resting place. "You ready?"

Olivia looked around before answering, just to make sure that she was. "Yeah. Lets go."

Once they got to the elevator Olivia asked the question that Casey had so far failed to answer. "So Casey, who is joining us tonight?"

"You'll see." Casey answered secretly.

"Why do I bother?" Olivia asked herself as they stepped into the elevator.

**Club**

About an hour later, Olivia was feeling a lot better than she had been when they first arrived, but then again five or six drinks could have that affect on some people. Casey, having had six or seven drinks was out on the dance floor dancing with who appeared to her to be the tall, dark and handsome man of her dreams. Olivia had taken a break from dancing and was now sitting at the table working on her next drink.

The song ended and Casey joined Olivia at the table. "Come on Casey give it up." Now that Casey had a few drinks in her, Olivia was more apt to get an answer. "Who are we supposed to be meeting and shouldn't this person be here by now."

Casey looked around the room and smiled when she saw whom she was looking for coming up behind Olivia, out of her line of sight. "Well I would like to, but I bet she'd like to tell you herself."

"What?" Olivia asked and then looked around. "Do I know her?"

Casey nodded.

Olivia again looked around, while the 'mystery' person still remained unseen behind her. "Casey I don't see anyone here I know besides you. So I'm either completely drunk and can't see straight, which I don't think I am because I've only had about four or five...or was it six drinks..." Olivia paused for a moment to think. "Anyway I don't think I am, so the only other option is that you're making this whole thing-"

The person behind Olivia put her hand over Olivia's mouth to stop her from rambling. "She gets this way when she's drunk." She explained. She has known Olivia for a while and knows that if given the chance, she would talk anyone's ear off who would listen if she had enough drinks in her.

"I do not." Olivia protested as she moved the hand away from her mouth. "And I am not drunk." It took a minute, but she eventually recognized the voice. "Hey." She said turning around. "Abbie!"

"Took you long enough." Abbie joked as she and Olivia hugged.

"It's been a while." Olivia said as they sat down.

"Really?" Abbie asked sarcastically. Abbie had obviously also had a few drinks.

Olivia turned to where Casey was sitting. "Casey, how..." She was going to ask Casey how she managed this, but she was already halfway to the dance floor. So she turned to Abbie ready to ask her.

Before she had a chance to ask, Abbie answered her. "It's a long story."

Olivia nodded. "So, how've you been?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee. She wasn't drunk, but she was feeling the alcohol.

"Good." Abbie said. "Really great actually."

"What did you do with Abbie Carmichael?" Olivia asked. "That smile is way too big for her."

Abbie blushed. 'Yep' Olivia thought. 'She's definitely had a few drinks herself.'

"Life's just been really good lately."

"Spill." Olivia demanded.

**-15 Minutes Later-**

"Abbie that's great. I'm really happy for you." Olivia said as she examined the large rock on Abbie's left hand. "Not a bad rock either. When's the wedding?"

"We're not sure yet." Abbie admitted. "We're thinking sometime next year. Either late spring or early summer."

"Well," Olivia began, taking another sip of her second cup of coffee. "I better be the first one to get an invitation."

"Actually..." Abbie started. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

Olivia didn't miss the turn of the conversation's tone. But she wasn't in the mood to have a serious conversation. "I'm not invited?" She asked, pretending to be offended.

Abbie couldn't help but laugh. "Could you please be serious for one minute." Once Olivia stopped, she continued. "Thank-you. Now, I would completely understand if you can't do this or if you don't want to, but I would really appreciate it...We have known each other for a long time, right? You were the first person I met when I moved to New York. During the time I was here, you were pretty much my best friend and you still are. I may live in another state, but-"

"Abbie." Olivia interrupted. 'Leave it to Abbie to make the most simple request a long, drawn out process.' She thought.

Abbie paused for a moment.

"Abbie I have never known you to be nervous. What is it?"

"Will you be my maid of honor?"

To say that Olivia was shocked would have been an understatement. She was totally and completelyone hundred percentflabbergasted. She and Abbie used to be close, but once Olivia met Alex, they lost some of their closeness. Then Abbie moved to DC and their friendship suffered even more. But apparently, they were still close. 'She mustn't have met many people in DC. I mean she's been there for what, like-' She thought.

"Liv?" Abbie asked nervously, braking Olivia's train of thought.

"Hmmm?" The Olivia realized that she hadn't given Abbie an answer yet. "Oh, sorry." Abbie wasn't generally a person who let their emotions show, so the anxious/nervous look on her face was priceless. But Olivia couldn't keep her in suspense any longer. "Oh Abbie come on, you even have to ask? Of course I will."

After spending another two hours at the club, Olivia was walking back into the SVU squadroom to get the bag she had left. After she got her bag, she was heading back out the doors to her waiting cab. But just as she reached the doors, she heard the familiar ring of her desk phone and stopped mid stride. 'There's no law that says I have to answer that.' She thought. She was planning on going home, taking a long, hot bath and then falling asleep while watching her favorite movie. It would be so easy for her to just leave, pretend that she never came back and that she never heard the phone ring. But then she remembered the oath she took as a police officer and her own personal oath she made to herself and quickly jogged over to her desk and answered the ringing phone.

"Detective Benson, Special Victims Unit

* * *

**Please Review. After all, Reviews are a writer's Best Friend.**


	3. Olivia's Next Case

First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed. Your reviews are greatly appreciated. And to those of you who didn't review, please do. After all, reviews are a writers best firend.

Second, I would like to appoligize for it taking so long to post Chapter 2, sorry about that.

Third, I know this chapter is longer than the first , but it's really good.

Fourth, I promise that it won't take that long for me to post the 4th Chapter.

Well, hope you enjoy.

**

* * *

**

**St. Catherine's Hospital – June 4, 2005 12:30am**

Olivia stepped off the elevator and into the all too familiar floor of the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. She walked down the corridor, stopped at the nurses' station and showed the nurse behind the desk her badge. "Detective Benson, Special Victims. Is Dr. Hanson around?"

"She's in room 422 with your victim." The nurse said as she pointed down the hall.

"Thanks." Olivia said, pushing off the desk and heading down the hall. She rounded the corner and nearly collided with the good doctor herself.

"You trying to put me in the hospital too Detective?" Dr. Hanson joked while re-organizing her files.

"Sorry Janet. It's just been one of those days."

Dr. Hanson checked her watch. "How can you already have had 'one of those days' when we're only thirty-two minutes into it?"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know, but this call certainly didn't help."

The doctor apologized as they began to walk down the hall she had just come from. Olivia got out her notepad and pen. "So, what have we got?"

"Approximately sixteen year-old Caucasian female brought in at 10:45 last night unconscious and unresponsive. Once she was stabilized and once I began my evaluation, I found a large contusion on the back of her head."

"Doctor." The nurse who had been sitting behind the desk interrupted as she walked towards them. She handed the doctor a file and without a word walked right back down the hall and out of view.

Dr. Hanson thanked her and opened the file as they continued their walk. Once they reached room 422,she had found what she was looking for. "Well, that would do it."

"Do what?" Olivia questioned.

"Knock her out." Olivia gave her a questioning look. "Versed." Olivia was still confused. "Her tox screen shows **heavy** amounts of Versed in her system. Versed is a paralyzing drug, which would explain why she had no defensive marks. All the perp would have to do is give her enough every few hours and she wouldn't be able to move or speak."

Olivia looked through the window at the girlwho isher next case. "So in other words she wouldn't have been able to fight back."

"She wouldn't have had a snowball's chance in hell. And with the amount in her system, I'd say she was in a coma for a good two days before she was brought here."

Olivia looked back at the doctor. "She's in a coma?"

"Yeah." Dr. Hanson answered simply. "But that didn't stop the perp from beating her up anyway."

"What'd her do to her?"

"Well" The doctor began. "Aside from the contusionon theback of her head, he let her get some pretty nasty infections from using dirty needles to inject the versed. I would say that she hasn't had anything to drink in about a week and hasn't eaten in five to seven. Which makes me think that she was kidnapped around that time too. Add in a broken left wrist, minor concussion, being in a come, vaginal bruising and a positive rape kit and you got yourself Jane Doe #583."

Olivia cringed at hearing 'Jane Doe'. This poor girl went through way too much to be labeled Jane Doe #583. This girl has a life, a family and a name somewhere. She cleared her throat and vowed to think of a real name for the girl later. "I would appreciate a copy of her file as soon as you're finished."

"Sure thing detective."

Olivia thanked the doctor and walked into the room.

"Detective." The doctor called just as she was about to close the door. _'You know,'_ Olivia thought. 'I _am getting really sick of not being able to get through a door without someone needing something.'_ She stepped out of the room, but just enough so that she could hear the doctor.

"I know you have to take pictures and everything, but she's due in surgery in fifteen minutes."

"Why?"

"Ruptured spleen." With that she walked away, leaving Olivia alone with the girl.

Oliviaentered the room and closed the door without any interruptions and got her first good look at the girl. It wasn't as bad as she expected, but it wasn't as good as she would have liked. Olivia's first thought was to a china doll she had when she was a little girl. She was just lying there one the bed being kept alive by at least half a dozen machines, if you take away the machines, she did look like her doll.

The doll was made out of a pale, pale porcelain, pretty much the same color of the girl's skin. She went over and touched her forehead. "Yep, she was a fever." Her skin was sunken and clammy too. "Has to be dehydrated." Without even thinking, she lifted up each of the girl's eyelids, green eyes. Her doll had green eyes. The only difference was their hair color. The doll's hair matched Olivia's, where the girl's was a mix between caramel and honey brown. Oh, and the fact that that one was a doll and the other was an actual human being.

"What was her name?" Olivia asked herself. _'Oh, well'_ She thought._ 'This isn't the time for a trip down memory lane.'_

A few pictures later and Olivia was almost finished. "Alright sweetie, smile for the camera." She took the last picture she needed, but she couldn't bring herself to leave. For some strange reason, she felt an odd connection to the girl. She put the camera down on the bed, pulled a chair over to the bed, sat down and just stared at the girl. "How do I know you?" She knew she couldn't answer, but she was more asking herself anyway. _'Knock it off Liv. She's just another victim in another case…I just need to convince myself of that.'_

"Know who?" Elliot asked as he entered the room holding two cups of coffee. He held one out to Olivia. "I still can't understand how you drink that stuff."

"Thanks." Olivia ignored his comment. Another one of her ways to cope with Alex's 'death' was to drink her favorite kind of coffee. Before Alex left, Olivia drank her coffee black with an occasional sugar packet or two if she needed an extra jolt. But now, she refused to drink any coffee other than Alex's chosen favorite of French vanilla.

"Liv." Elliot called, snapping her out of a daze.

Olivia snapped her head up. "Yeah?"

Elliot looked at her as if she had just forgot an important piece of information. "You haven't answered my question."

"Sorry." She said, looking back at the girl and deliberately not answering his question.

Elliot sat down in the chair next to Olivia. "Are you okay?"

She took a sip of coffee before answering, as she tried to think up a response, but then she realized that this was Elliot she was talking to. They were partners and like it or not, he would be able to tell if she was lying. "I know her Elliot, I swear I do….I just can't place her.

He looked at the girl. "Well, I don't think she's going anywhere anytime soon, so you'll have plenty of time to think about it." It didn't sound like he had meant it to, but she knew what he was saying.

"I'm sorry detectives," Dr. Hanson said as she entered the room. "But she needs to be prepped for surgery."

They both silently got up and headed out the door, but Olivia stopped to speak with the doctor. She reached into her coat pocket, got out a business card and handed it to the doctor.

"I'll call you as soon as she's out of surgery."

"Thank-you." She nodded and headed down the hall to join Elliot at the nurses' station, where he was talking with the nurse.

"And the rape kit?" He asked as he took the brown paper bag the nurse handed him.

"Already sent to the lab."

**One Police Plaza Crime Lab - June 4, 2005 2am**

The lab was quiet, which wasn't surprising given the time, but it was still eerie.

"This had better be good." The disgruntled lab technician complained a he entered the room.

"Oh, come on Scott." Elliot joked.

"Not happy to see us?" Olivia asked seductively as she made her way over to the computer Scott just sat down at. Elliot stifled a laugh. It was no secret that Scott had a huge crush on Olivia. It was painfully obvious to anyone who was ever in the same room with them. But, unfortunately for poor little Scott and fortunately for Olivia, he had no idea about her preference to women. '_Might as well use it to my advantage_.' Elliot must have thought the same thing because he suddenly became very quiet. '_Work your magic Liv_.'

"What do you guys need now?" Scott asked.

"Come one Scott don't be that way." Olivia instructed seductively. Within a matter of seconds, he was in the palm of her hand and she was back in detective mode. "Now, we need her stuff tested and lifted for prints and DNA." She took the bag from Elliot and put it on the table next to the rape kit. "And we need her rape kit tested and run through the system."

Scott remained silent for a minute while he stared at what could possibly be quite a few hours of work. He sighed and asked, "When do you need this done by?"

**SVU Squadroom - June 4, 2005 2:30am**

Olivia sat alone, yet again, in the empty SVU squadroom. Elliot was staying at the lab so that he could bring their victim's things to the squadroom as soon as the lab tech was done with them. Which, thanks to Olivia, wouldn't be very long. So, in the meantime, Olivia was looking through Missing Persons.

"Alright….female..Caucasian…14-17 years old….approximately 5'6''….green eyes….light brown hair." She recited to herself as she typed the requirements into the Missing Persons Database. "Wow." Over 200 matches. "Okay" She said, getting more comfortable. "New York Only." 42 matches. Still a lot, but certainly more manageable than 200. "Alright, what else do we have?" She looked at her notepad for anything she wrote down that may be considered helpful. "Ears double pierced….small scar between her middle and ring fingers on her left hand….another small scar on the back of her left heel….large scar below her right knee….two small freckles just below her left cheek bone."

**-1 Hour Later-**

"Find her yet?" Elliot asked as he strolled into the squadroom, with the same bag that he had brought to the lab earlier.

"No." Olivia answered, frustrated. "I'm double checking now. And then I'll triple check and quadruple check." As she always does when she's upset, Olivia was now pacing. "But it's not going to make a damn bit of difference because she's not in here. I read every single letter of every single word on over 200 reports and not one, **not even one** single report comes anywhere near matching Ella."

Elliot snapped his head up. "Wait, who's Ella?"

Olivia calmed down and sat back down across from Elliot. "Jane Doe #583." She took a deep breath. "I had this doll when I was about 9 or 10." A tear rolled down her cheek, but this time she made no effort to wipe it away. "The porcelain that she was made of is the same color of our victims skin and she had these vibrant green eyes." Another tear rolled down her cheek. "Just like out victims."

Elliot filled in the blanks. "And her name was Ella."

"Yeah." Olivia admitted as she wiped her eyes. "And she just been through way too much not to have a name."

Neither spoke for a few seconds. "How do you know her Liv?"

"See Elliot that's just the thing. I have absolutely no clue." She paused for a moment as she examined the key chain on the girl's backpack that was just sticking out of the brown paper bag Elliot had placed on his desk. It was a horse, encompassed in a heart. "You know, I might not even know her. Maybe she just reminds me of someone I know…or used to know."

Elliot nodded. He knew that Olivia knew this girl from somewhere. She was just feeding him the crap about Ella reminding her of someone to get him not to ask questions. He could take a hint. So, he sat down at his desk and emptied the contents of the bag. Out of the bag came a multi-colored backpack with the initials 'MPJ' embroidered on it and a black pocketbook with a big 'M' on it in the same pastel colors as her backpack.

"The lab find anything?" Olivia asked as she took the purse. These are just somethings in a girls purse that a guy is not meant to see.

"I didn't stick around long enough to find out.He kept her clothes and jewelry for tests and I figured that we could look through her other stuff whilehe's doing that and then go back for the results later when we go to get the results from the rape kit. And I'm hoping that she'll have something here that will tell us who she is."

"Good idea." Olivia nodded as she opened the purse and dumped its contents out onto her desk. "_Lip gloss, eye shadow, mascara, eyeliner, a compact, lotion, body spray, a cell phone and a set of keys._ _Nothing unusual for a teenage girl._' The she unzipped the inside pocket and pulled out a picture envelope.

"Anything good?"

She answered as she opened the envelope and took the pictures out. "No, not really. Just the typical teenager stuff…and a few pictures."

Elliot took his attention off the backpack and walked over to Olivia's desk. "Pictures? They have a date on them?"

She looked through the pictures. "Not the date they were taken, but-" She flipped one of the pictures over and found the development date. "They were all developed on April 20th."

Elliot flipped through a calendar Olivia had sitting on her desk. "That about six weeks ago. It fits the time frame. The doctor said five to seven weeks right?"

Olivia nodded as she continued to look through the pictures. Some were just of the victim, a few were of her and a horse, but the majority of them were of her with a group of girls, who looked about her age, at different places.

"Pretty horses." Elliot said as he saw a picture of Ella, two other girls and three horses.

Olivia looked at him skeptically.

"What? Kathleen went through a horse phase. But judging by the height of those jumps, I'd say that this girl didn't just go through a horse phase. I'd guess that she's been riding for at least a few years."

Olivia examined the picture a little closer. All three girls were wearing show-riding gear, with their helmets in the crooks of their arms and the horses' reins in their hands. The horse that Ellahad was a Palomino Paint Horse that had a blue ribbon on its bridal. The girl to Ella's left was a little taller than her with blonde hair and was holding the reins to a black and white Paint Horse with a yellow ribbon on its bridal, and the girl to Ella's right was about Ella's height with dark brown hair and she was holding the reins to a chestnut Paint Horse that had a red ribbon on its bridal. She put that picture aside and continued flipping through the rest of the pile.

Elliot picked up the photo envelope in hopes that there would be an address of where she got them developed. No such luck. But there was one picture stuck to the inside that Olivia missed. He carefully unattached the picture and took it out of the envelope. "Liv, look at this."

Olivia took the picture. This picture was different than all of the others. In this one, Ella was sitting on a bench holding a baby. She wasn't really sitting though, she had her feet up on the bench and was leaning on the older girl sitting next to her, who in turn, had her arms around Ella. Behind them was an older woman, possibly their mother, and she was leaning on the bench with an arm on each side of the girls. "Family Picture?" She asked. It had to be. They were all wearing outfits with a matching pattern, just in different colors. Ella was in a light purple sundress, the older girl was in a light pink sundress, the woman was in blue and the baby was in a pale yellow ruffled dress, complete with matching booties and a headband with a flower.

"Could be." Elliot said. "Ella, mom, older sister…..do you think the baby's hers?"

"Could be or she could be her little sister."

"The baby only looks a couple of days old." Elliot added. "And no one in that picture looks like they just had a baby."

"Well you can't really see the woman. She's behind the girls."

"Trust me." Elliot began. "I have four and Kathy didn't look like that a few days after any of them were born." He looked at his watch. "Well, it's after 3. I'm heading home. Don't stay too late."

"I won't."

Once he was gone, Olivia put everything back into the purse, except the pictures, and opened the backpack. '_Notebooks, folders, schoolbooks, agenda book, calculator and a bunch of pens and mechanical pencils. Oh, how very exciting.' _She opened up the books, hoping to find her name or school written somewhere in them. But nothing that would help was written. "Spanish II, French II and German II? What teenager takes three languages at the same time?..And I thought taking two languages over the course of four years was tough." She looked closer at the books. They were brand new and had no writing on or in them whatsoever. "She has to go to a private school. Public school books don't stay this clean for long." And the fact that Ella still had the books, even though it was summer break, and that she took German, when none of the public schools that she knew of offer German as a language, added to her suspicions. "Wait a minute." She sorted through the pictures in search of the picture of Ella and the group of girls in uniforms. "Bingo." She looked closer at their uniforms and saw that there was a school crest on their blazers. She could tell that there were letters on it, but she couldn't make them out. "Damn it!"


	4. Amber Alert

**SVU Squadroom – June 4, 2005 8:15am**

Detective Elliot Stabler walked into the squadroom just as Detective Odafin Tutuola was coming out of the bathroom. "Sorry I'm late."

"You got no problems with me." Fin said as he sat down at his desk.

Elliot nodded toward Detective John Munch's desk. "Where's your partner?"

Fin looked across his desk at his partner's empty desk. "Late. Where's yours?"

Elliot shrugged as he looked at his own partner's empty desk, only to find a note taped to her desk light. He reached over and grabbed the note.

_Elliot-  
I did all I could to try and identify our Jane Doe, but I have a feeling that this is going to take some time. I dropped off two pictures at the lab on my way home. They have a few letters on them that I couldn't make out. It may not be anything helpful, but it's the best lead we've got. Casey and I will be in court all morning with the Martin case, so if you need us, too bad. Our cells will be off._

_Olivia_

**Supreme Court – People vs. Anthony Martin 8:30am**

Casey stood up and crossed the room. "Please state your name and occupation for the record." She began as she neared the witness stand.

"Olivia Benson, Detective-Manhattan Special Victims Unit."

"What is the nature of your job?"

"We investigate sex crimes, child abuse and child abandonment."

"I see." Casey moved toward the jury box. "Tell me detective, how did you come across the defendant while investigating these kinds of cases?"

"We-"

Casey interrupted. "And by we, you mean…"

"My partner Detective Stabler and I." She corrected. "My partner and I were investigating a sexual harassment claim that was made against the defendant's son, Jeremy."

"Now Jeremy is the oldest son, correct?"

"Yes. Over the course of the investigation we discovered that Jeremy was sexually abused as a child."

"By whom detective." Casey asked, turning back to face Olivia.

"Jeremy claims that it was his father, Anthony Martin."

Casey looked over at the defendant with a smile on her face. _'You gotta love a slam dunk case.'_ "Go on detective."

**-1 Hour Later-**

Casey and Olivia were sitting at a little diner about five minutes from the courthouse grabbing a quick bite before court re-adjourned.

"So how did I do?" Olivia asked.

"Good. The jury reacted just as I had hoped-they're disgusted. Hell I'm disgusted." Casey admitted.

"His wife doesn't believe it."

"Doesn't or won't?"

Olivia sighed. "She's way to deep in denial to come back now."

_Ring Ring. _They both checked their cells.

"It's mine." Casey said, answering her ringing phone. "Novak….meet me in my office in ten." She closed her phone. "Looks like someone wants a deal."

**Office of Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak – 9:15am**

Even almost two years later Olivia was still uncomfortable in this office. Since Alex's 'death', it had been hard for her to even walk by this office. It had gotten easier with time, but she still didn't like being in it. It was full of too many memories. Her favorite were the countless late night hours spent going over a case or being prepped for an upcoming trial. Many of those nights they never got to sleep. And that had nothing to do withany case.

With the minutes passing by, Olivia got increasingly uncomfortable staying in the room and her pacing was quickly wearing on Casey's nerves. "Where the hell are they?"

"Easy detective. My boss won't be to happy if you burn a hole through the floor."

"Yeah well you know what, these guys are pissing me off. I only had **maybe** two hours sleep last night-no, make that this morning, because when I went back to the squadroom to get my bag after I left the club last night, I got a call about my next case, who is currently a 16 year-old coma ridden Jane Doe. So every second they waste is one more second this girl remains nameless, one more second that her family is left wondering where she is or if she's even still alive, one more second that the dirt bag who put her in the coma remains free to do this to another innocent child and one **less** second that I get to find out who this girl is. So I really don't give a shit whether your boss is happy or not."

Casey immediately got up and picked up her briefcase. "Lets go."

Olivia stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"You're right. They said they would be here and they're not. They're the ones who need a deal, not us. I'd be perfectly happy finishing the trial."

They were already out the door and halfway to the elevator by the time their meeting finally decided to show up.

"Casey." He called after them.

Casey stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. "You know what Langan? I don't like being kept waiting for a meeting that I didn't call and that I certainly don't need….I'll see you in court."

**-Crime Lab-**

Olivia got there as soon as she could. A phone call from Scott had told her that the lab results were in. She walked up to the door and paused before she entered.

"How are we going to tell Olivia?" She heard Elliot whisper.

"Tell me what?" She asked as she pushed open the door and entered the room.

Silence erupted throughout the room, until Fin jabbed Scott. "Why'd you call her?" He asked in a tone that only Scott could hear.

But Scott, always wanting to impress Olivia, answered loud enough so that she could hear him. "Because she's the lead detective on the case and she told me to." He winced as he massaged the spot on his arm that Fin's elbow had just come in contact with.

"Tell me what?" Olivia asked again, growing more impatient with each passing second.

**SVU Squadroom – 11:30am**

For once, the usually empty squadroom wasn't so empty. Fin, Munch and Olivia were all sitting at their desks in silence while Elliot was in speaking with Captain Cragen. He was explaining what the lab had found.

A few minutes later, Elliot exited the room and went straight over to the board next to his and Olivia's desks. So far, all that was on the board was a picture of the victim that Olivia had taken at the hospital and the name Ella written below it. "We got the lab results back. Ella was raped by two men."

Olivia sighed and shook her head. _'Why does it always have to be the kids?'_

Munch and Fin got up and joined Elliot and Olivia. "DNA in the system?" Munch asked.

Elliot was already ahead of them. He had put up two pictures of a man's silhouette. Then, he drew a red flag above the pictures and wrote 'FBI' in big, bold, black letters right across the flag. "The DNA's in the system. But unfortunately, we got a big red flag from the FBI."

"They can't stonewall us." Olivia exclaimed. "We're dealing with a rape-kidnapping here. What the hell do they have that's so much more important?"

Elliot was about to say something, but just then Cragen came out of his office and everyone went silent. Elliot and Fin because they knew what their Captain was about to say and Olivia and Munch because they wanted to know what was going on.

Cragen stood there for a while. He knew that the information he was about to reveal was going to hurt the female detective he considered a daughter. But it had to be done, so he took a deep breath and began. "Since Ella was a Jane Doe, the doctor got us a DNA sample from her to run through the system. When her DNA was run through the system, an Amber alert popped up."

"That makes sense." Olivia interrupted. "She was kidnapped five to seven weeks ago."

"This Amber alert was from 1990."

Olivia and Munch looked at Cragen in shock. Olivia didn't know whether or not she wanted to know the answer, but she asked anyway. "Who was she kidnapped from?"

"Alex Cabot."


	5. Painful Memories

**Chapter 5 – Painful Memories**

Olivia's cell phone had been ringing non-stop since she left the station about an hour ago. Most likely Elliot checking up on her and making sure she's okay. But she didn't want to talk to anyone. She just needed time to sort everything out. So, after Cragen had ordered her to take the rest of the day off and Elliot, Munch and Fin had promised to find out who currently had custody of Mackenzie, she left. Although she was a bit skeptical about why they were all so willing to help. There was the fact that it was part of their job, but Olivia sensed that it was more than that. But since only Elliot knew about Olivia's involvement with the girl's mother, she chalked it up to the fact that Alex was once one of their own and as far as everyone else was concerned, she and Olivia were best friends.

"She has a daughter." Olivia cried through free flowing tears as she drove down the busy New York street.

Ironically, not even three weeks prior to Alex's unfortunate brush with fate, they had discussed having children.

_It was a typical Friday night. Olivia was sitting on the couch watching TV and Alex was curled up on the other end of the couch reading a book. When a commercial came on, she lowered the volume and turned to Alex. "Alie?"_

"_Hmm?" Alex answered, looking up from her book, her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose._

"_What's the story tonight?"_

_Alex moved the book so that Olivia could see the cover. "A Mother's Love."_

"_What's it about?"_

"_If you would let me finish reading it, I could tell you." She joked. Then at the look on Olivia's face, she gave her a real answer. "It's about this sixteen year-old girl who gets pregnant." Olivia motioned for her to go on. "Well, it starts off with her telling her parents. And them being the uptight bastards that they are, tell her to get an abortion and when she refuses, they kick her out. Then she goes to her boyfriend and tells him hoping that he would help them. But he doesn't believe that the baby's his and dumps her. So, she is forced to move-in with her abusive grandparents. Then, the baby is born two and a half months early and there are all sorts of complications. Once the baby is released from the hospital, everything seems to be going great until the grandparents can't stand the crying and kick them both out…But to make a long story short, It's about a mother's fight to keep her daughter."_

"_And you're trying to make me feel guilty for interrupting you when you've probably read this story like twenty times."_

_Alex smiled and went back to reading. "Twenty-two actually."_

_Olivia shook her head and went back to watching TV. "Why am I not surprised?"_

Olivia turned the ignition off and began her walk to the building. "I just don't understand why she didn't tell me."

_A bunch of babies in diapers suddenly raided the television screen. There was no mistaking the advertising there. "Hey Al."_

"_Am I ever going to get to finish this book?"_

_Olivia ignored the comment. "Have you ever thought about having kids?"_

_Alex didn't answer for a little bit longer than absolutely necessary, but Olivia figured that she was finishing a sentence. "Yeah." She answered shakily as she closed the book. "Why?"_

"_Well I've just been thinking lately." She turned the television off and moved so that she was facing Alex, only to be met by a questioning glance. "Don't look at me like this is totally out of the blue. I meanI'm almost40. I'm not getting any younger and I'd like to have a few kids before I'm eligible for senior citizen's discounts."_

_Alex had to stifle a laugh. "That time's coming up pretty soon isn't it?"_

_Olivia playfully slapped Alex's knee. "Stop it, I'm serious. I think this is a topic that we should seriously talk about."_

She practically breezed up the stairs to the fourth floor, still muttering to herself. "We talked about this. She could have brought her up any time."

_Alex sat up and put the book down on the end table. "All right, lets talk about this. You want to have kids?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Do you want to be the one who actually has them?"_

_She had already thought about the subject and had an answer ready. "Well, with my job and age I think it would be a lot safer for you to. Just think about it. I'm a cop. I work ridiculous hours and I'm constantly put in a position that, quite frankly, I could never make it out of." Alex winced. "I'm sorry sweetie, but it's true. It comes with the job…But you practically get to make your own hours and all precautions are taken to ensure your safety. And if I was pregnant, I wouldn't get to do my job because I'd be riding a desk, but if you were pregnant, you'd still be able to do your job."_

"She doesn't look as pale today." Olivia stated, looking down at the lifeless form of her lover's daughter.

_Alex thought for a minute. "You make a good argument detective. So, if I'm going to be squeezing these kids out, how many are you thinking about?"_

"_I don't know, but I've always wanted more than one. I grew up an only child and it wasn't fun. You're always lonely because there's no one to play with, no one to share your secrets with…no one to confide in. I want to have at least two. That way no matter what happens to us, they'll always have each other."_

"She's doing a lot better." The doctor said. "Her surgery went well and she's reacting better than expected to the treatment."

"_Well" Alex began. "Two's not going to work with me. I grew up with it just being me and my sister and it's just as lonely. But with more, they learn to depend on each other."_

"_Hmmm. Well. What do you want? Have you always wanted to have a little princess or prince…or both?"_

"_I've always wanted all girls. Most of my little cousins were boys, so I've always been around baby boys. I think a house full of little girls will be cute. And besides, I just love those little pink frilly dresses."_

"You have no idea how much you look like your mother." Olivia spoke to the girl. Even though she couldn't respond, the doctor said that she could hear. "I knew there was something about you and this is it. You two are built the same way. Both tall and thin, you even have her face. Your hair's a little darker and your eyes are a different color, but dye your hair and add color contacts and you're a younger version of your mother." Olivia had to fight back a wave of tears as emotions threatened to overcome her.

"_That would be cute." Olivia agreed. "And I grew up with boys, so I think it would be great to have girls. Instead of your traditional boy sports, it'd be great to go to ballet, gymnastics and ice skating."_

"_What about names?" Alex asked._

"_I've always liked 'elle' names. Like Isabelle and Gabrielle."_

"_Those are pretty. I've always liked 'M' and 'N' names." She swallowed. "Like Mackenzie, Madison, Natalie, Nicole. And maybe we could use our mothers' names for middle names."_

"_Serena and Sophia are cute names. I'd have no objections to that."_

"_And I thought I was the one who made the objections." Alex interjected._

"_Oh, jeeze." Olivia said and then thought for a minute. "What would their last name be?"_

_Alex laughed. "Benson-Cabot or Cabot-Benson I guess."_

"Should you call her grandparents?" Casey asked. Elliot had called and told her what happened and because he couldn't leave work and Casey knew of Olivia and Alex's history he figured that it would be good for her to talk to Olivia.

"No. Her grandfather died before I met Alex and her grandmother just left for a dog show in Florida. I have no way of contacting her now. I'll try in two weeks." From previous experience, Olivia knew that she usually stayed at dog shows for about two to three weeks. "Casey." She began. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Well, the statute on kidnapping expired years ago."

"Not on kidnap 1."

"We'll have to wait until she wakes up to be able to tell if her kidnapper terrorized her or not. But she might not even be living with the person or persons kidnapped her. She could have been adopted afterwards by people who had no idea that she was kidnapped."

"Oh, they knew." Olivia shook her head. "Why do you think that they didn't file a missing person's report? Because they knew that if they did, it would come out that she was kidnapped. Or why they haven't come forward when she's been all over the news." She had been on the news, but so far the press had no idea that she's the daughter of the former Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot, and everyone planned on keeping it that way. "Oh, they knew alright."


	6. What the Hell

**Author's Note:** Okay guys, as many of you have probably already heard, Stephanie March is bringing her character, ADA Alex Cabot, back to SVU for an episode sometime in February. This brings me into sort of a bind. So, I'm giving this choice to all of you. Would you rather I continue writing this story and have my own version of what Alex did in the Witness Protection Program, like what she did, where she was, what her name was andthat she hadMackenzie with her or would you rather me delete this story entirely and start over starting with when Alex comes back in February? It's up to you guys. Please tell me what you think along with your review. But no matter what I do, I will probably have to change the dates or take them out. Thanks, SVU Chicky

P.S. I have actual proof that she is coming back, so if you want to see it, just e-mail me.

**

* * *

****Apartment of Olivia Benson – June 6, 2005 3am**

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

The ringing of her house phone woke Olivia from the most sleep she's had in the past three days. On Cragen's orders to take some time off, she had spent most of her weekend at the hospital with Alex's still coma-ridden daughter, whose name she later learned, was Mackenzie. Finally, at around nine o'clock the previous night and after being awake for over seventy-two consecutive hours, she was able to convince herself to leave the hospital and drive back to her apartment, all just mere seconds before she passed out on her bed.

**St. Catherine's Hospital – June 6, 2005 3:30am**

If Olivia hadn't been a cop, she would have been arrested for defying almost every speed limit across the country. But she was, so there was no trouble.

She decided to forgo the elevator and instead, ran at top speed up the stairs to the second floor. Before she even opened the door to the Pediatric ICU she was immediately aware of why the doctor had called her.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked upon entering the room. But her question was drowned out by Mackenzie's desperate cries for help. The lights had been turned out, so the room was dark, but Olivia could still see what was going on and was mortified by the sight. Mackenzie was screaming and trying to get loose from the grip of four men. One of who had her arms, one had her head, one had her lower torso and the other had her legs.

"What the hell is going on?" Olivia asked again. This time, she was right next to the doctor when she asked.

"She woke up." The doctor managed to say as she dodged an escaped half casted arm.

"Well obviously, but what the hell are you trying to do?"

"We're trying to restrain her so that we can sedate her."

"**Stop. Stop. No, don't touch me." **Mackenzie cried. **"STOP!"**

This was more than Olivia could take. "Did you ever think that maybe if there weren't four strange people toughing her that she may not need to be sedated?"

"We had no choice detective. I was casting her arm when she woke up and she freaked."

"Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was kidnapped, raped and kept away from her family for any number of weeks and then she wakes up in a strange place with a strange person touching her. What the **hell** did you expect her to do?"

The doctor said nothing, as she had moved toward Mackenzie and was filling a syringe. Olivia went over to her and slapped the syringe out of her hands. "**She's a rape victim**... And if you all aren't out of this room in five seconds, I'll arrest each one of you for assault."

Everyone backed away and the doctor took off her gloves. "Find detective. You want to deal with her, go ahead."

Once everyone was out, Olivia closed the door and the blinds and turned the lights back on. She went over to the bed and sat down by Mackenzie's feet. She knew from experience that the worst thing to do to a rape victim was to touch her, so she just talked to her in a very slow, soothing voice. "Mackenzie, I'm Olivia. I'm a detective. I'm here to help you. You're okay here, no one is going to hurt you."

Within ten minutes, Mackenzie had stopped crying and within half an hour, she had calmed down enough to talk.

"You feeling better now?" Olivia asked sympathetically, handing Mackenzie a tissue.

Mackenzie wiped her eyes. "Yeah, thanks."

"All right then. I'm going to give you a minute and just step outside to make a quick phone call." Olivia got off the bed and walked over to the door.

"**NO!" **Mackenzie nearly screamed. "Please don't leave me here by myself." She pleaded.

"Okay." Olivia said as she sat back down. She couldn't bear to see her future daughter in any more pain.


	7. He Knows

Thanks to all who have encouraged me to go on with my story, I have decided that I will go on with it. Although now, it will probably be set in an alternate universe. Also, there will be a few short chapters coming next becasue I am currently writing what happened to Mackenzie and it will take a while to write.

I would like to thank every single one of my reviewers. I love you guys.

* * *

Almost a week later and Mackenzie was deemed ready to talk, although she was currently in surgery. Dr. Huang had been in and out of her room every day since she regained consciousness and was now finally convinced that it would be okay for her to talk. Although he wasn't the only one who had been having daily chats with her. Olivia practically lived there and Casey was no stranger either. 

Even though Mackenzie had not been officially questioned yet, Olivia had asked her a bit about her current family. Mackenzie Paige Johnson was the middle daughter of Victoria Johnson. She has an older, eighteen year-old sister named Courtney and a younger, three month old sister named Emma. Neither she, nor her older sister know who their father is.

So far the detectives had been unsuccessful in locating any member of the family. They weren't at their house and they weren't responding to their phones, cell phones or e-mails.

Even Mackenzie's school, which conveniently happened to be a year round Canadian boarding school, had also been unsuccessful in contacting anyone. So it seemed to the detectives that they were on the run or hiding. Either way, they were sure that Ms. Johnson knew that Mackenzie was kidnapped, if wasn't the kidnapper herself.

"Olivia I'm just wondering if you're to personally involved in the case." Cragen asked as he led Olivia away from the other detectives.

"Look Captain-"

"Let me finish." He interrupted. "I know about you and Alex."

Olivia couldn't speak. "Umm…I…I…Umm" She cleared her throat, "I don't know what you're talking about. We are-I mean we were best friends. It wasn't a secret."

Cragen gave Olivia a good, hard look. The kind of look that a father gives his daughter after he caught her in the middle of a lie. "Olivia, I've been your boss for over six years now. Up until Alex joined SVU, I'd seen you go through a fair share of guys and every morning you'd come in with regret written all over your face."

"Wait, I-" Olivia tried unsuccessfully to interrupt.

"But a few months after Alex joined the squad, you came in smiling."

Olivia turned a bright shade of red and Cragen lowered his voice.

"You were happy and it showed in your work. You started going home at a normal hour and you weren't the first one in every morning. Now I didn't ask because it wasn't any of my business, but when I saw the same thing going on with Alex and you two always going to lunch and 'working on cases', I figured it out."

Olivia was once again left speechless, which was unusual for the usually word-savvy detective. She looked around the room for a minute before she spoke. "So this is why you told me to take some time off.

"Yeah." Cragen nodded.

Olivia nodded and took a few steps away. "Yeah." She turned to face Cragen, there was no point in denying it. "I know that I'm already involved in this case, but that will just motivate me even more to find the people who did this to her…And she won't talk to anyone else, so…I guess you're stuck with me."


	8. This is it

-Okay, I'm pretty sure that this is the last chapter before I post Mackenzie's story. Although I did say that about the last few chapters. And with report cards coming soon and a not-so-good French grade, Iwill not be able to post that often.

-Also, a few of my chapters will havedifferentLaw & Order characters. The same disclaimer applies, Dick Wolf and NBC still own them. Although sincethey're not on the show anymore, maybe he will let me have them.

-I realize that my story had many dates it it-just ignore them. With Alex coming back next month, these datesno longerwork.

* * *

At first neither Olivia nor Casey recognized the woman sitting with Mackenzie, but after a minute of watching the two through the window they figured it out. "Cases getting to easy nowadays councilor?" 

The woman stood up and turned toward them. "Long time no see Serena." Casey added.

"Olivia. Casey." Serena greeted.

_Knock. Knock._

"Sorry to interrupt, but you forgot this." Cragen said, handing a tape recorder to Olivia. He nodded toward Serena before leaving. "Ms. Southerlyn."

Olivia turned back to Serena. "So councilor, what are you doing here?"

Serena smiled. "Well, it's nice to see you too Olivia."

Olivia laughed. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"It's okay, I know what you meant." She sat back down. "Well, a little bird told me that Mackenzie here didn't have a lawyer, so I volunteered."

Olivia looked to Casey. "A little bird huh?" She and Casey moved from the doorway and took the two seats next to the bed. "What's a homicide prosecutor doing representing a teenage rape victim anyway?"

Serena's posture immediately changed. "Can I speak with you two outside for a minute?" She turned to Mackenzie, "I'll be right back." Once they were outside and the door was closed, she began. "I'm not a prosecutor anymore. Branch fired me a few weeks ago."

"What?" "Why?" Olivia and Casey asked at the same time.

"He claimed that it was because I was too passionate…And, according to him-a prosecutor can be zealous, but never passionate."

"That's total bull shit." Casey exclaimed.

"Serena that's bull. Alex was incredibly passionate and they never even thought about firing her."

"Yes, but those are two totally different jobs. I was homicide. Alex was Special Victims. You guys have to be passionate. You have victims, live victims that you have to stand up for. I had murderers that I needed to prosecute." She shook her head. "But I also don't think that's it. There has to be something else to it."

"Like what?" Casey asked.

Serena turned to Olivia. Casey wouldn't understand. "What would you think if you had just come out to the Executive Assistant District Attorney not even two day before you were fired?"

Olivia nodded. But then again, she didn't know the lengths Jack had been known to go to keep a secret. "Why would Jack tell him?" Casey asked.

Serena shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't know any other way Branch could have found out." She opened the door. "But, you can be certain that a discriminatory lawsuit is in the works."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Olivia pulled Serena back out into the hallway. "That's great, but it still doesn't explain why you're here."

"Or why a sixteen year old-rape victim needs a lawyer." Casey added.

"You know as well as I do councilor that all victims are encouraged to have an attorney." She sighed. _'Why do we always have to do this the hard way?'_ She turned to Olivia. "When I was in law school, I worked with this child advocacy group. I was pretty much an assistant. I would file documents, set up appointments, act as a mediator during meetings and when the occasion called for it, I would be second chair in court precedings. When they heard that I had been fired, they offered me a job-and I took it. Now I will be representing teenagers in adoption proceedings, custody battles and.." She motioned toward Mackenzie's room. "Whatever else they may need me for. Except for criminal proceedings. I refuse to go own that route…Actually, just between us three and the ghosts of the hall, when Branch called me into his office the day he fired me I already had my letter of resignation typed, signed and ready to go." She turned and went back into the room, followed by Casey.

Olivia stayed outside the room for a minute-just watching Mackenzie through the window. Serena was signing her new cast. Olivia and Casey had done so the day she got it put on, a few days before. "All right, this is it." She took a deep breath and entered the room.


	9. The Link

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, but after a not so good report card, I need some hard-core studying time.

Please RR

* * *

Olivia pressed the record button on the tape recorder that was sitting on the table between the two chairs she and Casey were currently occupying. "Report #102 filed by the state of New York in regard to the kidnapping, rape and assault of minor Mackenzie Johnson. All attempts to locate and contact the mother and/or legal age sister have been unsuccessful. Except for a three month-old sister, there is no other next of kin and no father is known or on record. As of two o'clock this afternoon, her attorney Serena Southerlyn has been given temporary guardianship over the minor by Judge Gregory Shelland and will act as her guardian until a family member is successfully contacted. Present are the minor, Mackenzie Johnson, Serena Southerlyn, Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak and Detective Olivia Benson." 

She opened her notepad and looked to Serena for permission to begin. Serena looked to Mackenzie who nodded. She then turned back to Olivia and gave her silent permission to begin the questioning. _'All right, easy stuff first.'_ She thought to herself. "Okay Mackenzie, can you state your full name, age and birthday for the record?"

"Mackenzie Paige Johnson, sixteen, June 22, 1989."

"Where do you go to school?"

"McKenna Academy. It's a private, year-round boarding school for girls in Canada." Serena noticed her tense up a bit, so she patted her knee to let her know that someone was there for her.

Olivia noticed this too and decided to ask a few completely irrelevant questions just to make her feel a little more comfortable before she brought up the completely relevant questions. "You like school?"

Mackenzie looked a little confused. "Yeah I guess so."

"What kind of classes did you take last year?"

'_Random.'_ She thought."My everyday classes?" Olivia nodded. "Well, beside my regular English, math, science, history and languages classes-I had drama, show choir and I took tennis and dance instead of gym."

"What about after school?"

"Depending on the day-I had drama club, mock trial or horseback riding."

"Sounds like you were pretty busy."

"Well when you spend fifty weeks a year at this place, you find stuff to do with your free time."

Casey cleared her throat. _'Yeah, yeah, I get it.'_ Olivia thought. "So you only spend two weeks at home?"

"Yeah, usually Christmas break and then one week during the summer. But this year-I mean the last school year-I went home during April vacation because the sophomores always take a summer trip somewhere and I wouldn't have been able to make it home."

Olivia nodded and Casey again cleared her throat, but this time she added in a few coughs to get her point across. "Would you get on with it?" She whispered so that only Olivia could hear her. Olivia glared at her. "I'm working on it." She whispered right back. _'This isn't working.'_ She turned the tape recorder off, excused herself and pulled Casey out into the hallway. "Casey you can't be in there."

"But Huang said-"

"No. Huang said that there should be two people in there that she trusts and feels comfortable with. Serena seems to have connected with Mackenzie. I can't have you in there rushing my questions. If you haven't noticed, Mackenzie tensed up on the second question and I was only asking her those questions to put her at ease before I had to start asking about what happened. No one can imagine how hard this is for her and you interrupting just makes the situation worse." With that, she turned and went back into the room.

"Sorry about that." She sat back down and took a deep breath. _'Okay, lets just get through these questions and then we'll see how it goes.' _She turned the tape recorder back on and continued as if nothing had happened. "So what made you switch your week in the summer with April vacation? Why not February vacation?"

"Originally I wasn't going to go home at all. It was actually my mother's idea not to. She said that the extra time would be great for some extra-credit work and maybe I could squeeze in a few horse shows or tennis matches."

"What made her change her mind?"

"She said that she had something to tell us-my sister and I." She corrected.

"What?"

"She had a baby…See you would think that this would be something that a mother would tell her kids before she actually had the baby, but no…not out mother. When she met us at the airport, she had the baby with her. That was the first we heard of her."

"Maybe she wanted to surprise you?" It was more of a statement that a question.

"With a baby?..No, our mother couldn't pull off surprising us with a notebook. She couldn't have had the baby for more than a day or maybe two at the most."

Olivia tried to remain professional. "You don't think the baby's hers?"

"Are you kidding?" Mackenzie stared at her in disbelief. "I know the baby's not hers. First of all, I would have known. She called at least once a week and I'd seen her at Christmas, not even three months before Emma was born. Now, I know that some people don't get that big when they're pregnant, but at six months along…" She left the rest for Olivia to fill in.

Olivia figured that they had stayed away from the topic long enough. There were two rapists running around free as well a woman who kidnapped a former Assistant District Attorney's daughter fourteen years ago and who knows who's baby two to three months ago. As much as she wished that she didn't have to, Olivia knew that then only way to catch any of them was through Mackenzie's testimony. She's the link. "What happened Kenzie?"

Mackenzie looked out the window at the rain falling over the pond and took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy. "Alright, ummm…I guess it pretty much all started the day I got home. With the new baby and everything, I got to thinking about me as a baby. We have this cupboard above the TV in the den that's full of photo albums. I was looking through my baby book and saw that all of my pictures started when I was about two. Then I looked through Courtney's and hers all started way before she was born. There were ultra sounds, baby shower pictures, a shower invitation and even her birth certificate and hospital bracelet…but there was nothing like that for me." She looked down and started fiddling around with her cast. "So I asked mom if I could see my birth certificate..and that's when she decided to take us into the city.

I don't know what she did all day, but she left us alone in the hotel the whole time. The third day we were there, I got tired of doing nothing, so I made up some lame excuse about going shopping and I left."

"You had no intention of going shopping did you?" Olivia asked.

"No I didn't. Once while Courtney was out taking a walk with Emma, I looked up the nearest Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the day I was supposed to be shopping, I went there. I told them that I thought that I was kidnapped and they asked me a few questions. Like my name-obviously-how old I was, when I thought I was kidnapped and a bunch of other questions. Then I gave them my cell phone number so that my mom wouldn't find out.

Now I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, so when I left I went and did some actual shopping. Then on my way back to the hotel, I got a call from the guy I had talked to at the center. He said that he needed me to come down again. So I did, and they took some blood for DNA and…I don't know the point of taking my prints was, but they did that too. He also asked me some other questions. Since it was getting late, I went to get some film developed and just as I was about to get into the cab to go back to the hotel, my cell rang again. This time it was the head of the center that called. So, I went down again."

After a minute of Mackenzie not elaborating, Olivia figured that they were getting close. "What happened when you got there?"

A single tear rolled down Mackenzie's cheek. "I didn't." Serena got off the bed and went around to the other side. She sat behind Mackenzie so that she could lean on her. She hoped that it would relax her a bit just to know that someone was there. "Um…well I got into the cab and before I could tell the guy where to go, I remember a sharp pain on the back of my head. Then I guess I passed out."

'_That would explain the contusion and the concussion.'_ Olivia thought. "When did you wake up?"

"I don't know exactly. But it had to be a few hours later because before I got into the cab the sun was just starting to set and when I woke up the moon was up."

"Where were you when you woke up?"

Mackenzie tried to remember-to piece everything back together-but the anesthesia was making it difficult. Olivia noticed and let her take her time answering the question. "Umm… I think I was in warehouse. There were boxes and crates everywhere. There was only a little bit of light shining in through the windows from the moon, so I couldn't see much."

Olivia decided to let her tell her story. "Go on."

Mackenzie nodded and continued. "A few minutes later, four guys came in. Three of them pinned me to the ground, and the other injected me with something…I tried to get up, but I couldn't move and I tried to scream, but I couldn't even open my mouth…Then, the guy who held my legs down picked me up and carried me into one of the other rooms…I think we went into the third room from the left."

She thought for a minute. "Yes, it was the third door from the left. It looked like an office or something. The guy put me down on the couch and then the guy who gave me the shot came in, so he left…Then he just sort of stood there for a few minutes, but once he was done standing there, he went over to the desk and got something out. I figured that it was a pair of keys because I could hear them jingle and after he got them out, he used them to open the door behind the desk.

Then he picked me up and brought me into the room. I think it was supposed to be used as a closet because it was really really small. There was barley enough room for the cot and chair that were in there." She paused for a moment. "He put me down on the bed and sat down in the chair and he just stared at me until whatever it was that he injected me with started to ware off."

_The room was cold and smelled highly of alcohol and smoke. Mackenzie groaned as she gradually regained control of her body. But the man was quick. He knew that this girl, while close to 100lbs. less than him, could do some serious damage, so before she had full control of her body, he strapped her down to the cot._

"_Okay" He began as he fastened the last strap. It may have been dark, but Mackenzie could see what he looked like perfectly. He was a good few inches taller than her, maybe 5'11" or 6". He had darker skin, black hair and could easily be picked out of a line up. "Lets get down to business."_

"_Lets not." Mackenzie retorted. She may have been hit over the head, kidnapped, drugged and currently strapped to a cot, but she refused to play the victim._

"_Oohh testy. You remind me of someone."_

"_Like who? Your mother?"_

_He laughed, as he watched Mackenzie struggle against the straps. "No, yours." That stopped her. "Hit a nerve did I?" Mackenzie remained silent and stared blankly up at the ceiling. "I thought so." Then he turned serious. "Now, lets get down to business. What's your name?"_

_Mackenzie knew that he wanted something. If he didn't, she would already be dead. "Why should I tell you? I'll bet you already know."_

"_You would think that now wouldn't you. But you see, I know all about your **real** mother, but as for the woman who kidnapped you…I know nothing."_

"_You knew how to find me, so you obviously have to know something." She turned her head away from him. "So I'd bet that you know more that you're letting on."_

_He was getting very tired of this very fast. To be sure that Mackenzie realized this, he smacked her with the barrel of his gun in the same place she was hit before. "I have no problem with killing you. Now, what is your name?"_

_As much as she hated this guy, Mackenzie valued her life a hell of a lot more. "Mackenzie Johnson."_

"_Thank-you. Where do you live?" Mackenzie didn't answer._

_The man withdrew a vial and a needle from his pocket. Mackenzie tried to move away, but she was trapped. "Okay, let me tell you how this is going to go. For every question that you don't answer or answer unsatisfactorily, I will inject you with this stuff. How long you are paralyzed depends on how much I give you. How much I give you depends on how much you **piss** me off…Got it?"_

_All Mackenzie could manage was a slight nod._

"_Good. Now, where do you live?"_

Serena handed Mackenzie another tissue. "It went on like that for the first few days, but then he started asking me about me mother. My **real** mother."

"_Where is she?" He slammed his fists down mere inched from Mackenzie's head._

"_I told you. I don't know. I don't even remember her."_

"_Okay, you don't want to cooperate and I'm getting tired of using this stuff every few hours, so.." He filled the syringe full of the drug and injected it into Mackenzie. "This should paralyze you for the rest of the day." He went over to the door and opened it. "And just to make sure that you're willing to talk the next time we meet.." A younger man came into the room and slowly made his way over to the cot. He stopped and whispered in Mackenzie's ear. "Lets see what your mother's girlfriend thinks about this."_

Olivia was in shock. Did this guy rape Mackenzie simply because Olivia was with SVU? She seriously hoped not. That fact that she was raped was hard enough, but if it turned out that this guy did it to send a message to Olivia, she would never forgive herself.

Mackenzie took another tissue as Serena tried to calm her down. "Shhhh….It's okay….deep breath. They can't hurt you anymore."

This was killing Olivia. She didn't want to play detective right now, she wanted to play mommy. She wanted to hold Mackenzie, chase away her demons and make everything okay. But she was already treading on thin ice. If it wasn't for the fact that Mackenzie trusted her, she's be off the case. One false move and Cragen would make sure that she was.

Mackenzie tried clearing her throat, but only succeeded in sending herself into a full blown coughing fit. Olivia quickly turned the tape recorder off and called for the doctor, who came running with two nurses right behind. Much to their dismay, Olivia and Serena were sent out of the room and forced to join Cragen and Huang at the end of the hall.


	10. Telling Mackenzie

-4 Days Later-

"Damn it Olivia, you couldn't have waited for back up could you?" Elliot scolded as he paced around the gurney.

Olivia shook her head. "Elliot we had back up and you know that." She got off the gurney, grabbed her jacket and headed toward the elevators.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

She stopped mid-stride and turned around to face Elliot. "Elliot!" She was about to really tell him what she was thinking, but she thought better of it. "I don't need this right now."

And she really didn't. Up until a few hours ago, she and Elliot had been undercover trying to infiltrate a very powerful Columbian drug ring. They had been part of an undercover team composed of them and several federal narcotics and federal undercover officers. The only reason that had been allowed to join this team was because SVU was just as famous for their dealings with children as this drug ring was for using children. Well, that and the fact that the leader of this particular drug ring was none other that Caesar Valez, the man who had ordered the hit on their prosecutor over two years ago.

But unfortunately, no one counted on any member of the ring knowing who Olivia was. That was a big mistake. Now two officers were dead and five were in the hospital. This was either a win-all or loose-all mission. If they had been successful, Caesar Valez would be in police custody right now, along with every other member of his cartel who wasn't killed in the apprehension process, awaiting arraignment on several federal felony charges. And over four years of work would have finally paid off. But this mission wasn't successful, so four years of seven-day workweeks, twenty-four hour days and 365-day years had all been for nothing. Hours and hours of paperwork, stakeouts and drug raids-all for nothing. And now Valez knew that the feds were onto him, and because of their slip-up today, he now had time to move his operations, hide evidence and flee the country.

Olivia thought about this the whole way up to Mackenzie's room. They had been so close to eliminating the reason for Alex being in hiding, so close. But now, they had hours and days and weeks and months and years of work to do all over again, and with no guarantee that they would be successful next time either.

She rounded the corner and almost bumped into the one person she least expected to see. "Mrs. Cabot."

"Oh please Olivia. It was Sophia three years ago when you were practically married to my daughter and…I know a lot has changed since then, but I would like to think that our relationship is one of the few things that has not." She quickly changed the subject. "I'm sorry that I was unable to return your call, but I just got back today and you said that it was urgent, so I went to the station house and they said that you were here. So here I am."

Olivia wasted no time. "Why didn't Alex ever tell me that she had a daughter?"

"I've been expecting this. I told Alexandra that she should have told you, but…"

"_Alexandra honestly, I don't know why you don't just tell her."_

_Alex sighed and flopped herself down in the chair opposite her mother. "It's complicated."_

"_What's so complicated about it? It's not like you chose to get pregnant. You were raped, it wasn't your fault. She of all people will understand that."_

"_See mother, that's just it." Alex got up and started pacing. "Everyone has a reason for joining SVU. Elliot's a father, he does it to protect his children. Olivia does it to protect people like her mother and because she herself was the product of rape. Fin does it because he wanted a more less risk job where he could actually help people. Munch does it because…well, frankly because he wasn't wanted anywhere else. But as far as they're all concerned, I was just randomly assigned to the unit. They don't know that even ADA's have to request to be assigned to the unit. They don't know that even I had a reason for joining SVU. And I'm not really sure that I want them to know."_

"_Alexandra Cabot. You were not raised like this. Your father and I raised you to be proud of yourself and not to hide from problems in your life. This little girl was your pride and joy. You may have only been fifteen when you had her, but you were a better mother than most mothers I know."_

"_Yeah?..So great that I lost her." She sat back down. "I looked away for two seconds, two seconds, and she was gone."_

"_And you did everything in your power to try and to get her back. SVU also deals with kidnappings." She moved over so that she was sitting inched away from her daughter. "Tell her. She'll understand."_

_A tear slipped down Alex's cheek. "It's just too painful. I mean…I lost my baby."_

"That's why she didn't tell you. You have no idea how much Alexandra loved that baby. When she first got pregnant, she wanted nothing to do witha baby. She viewed her as a rapist's child and nothing more. But after she gave birth to Mackenzie, she was no longer the daughter of a rapist. She was the daughter of a Cabot. I swear she didn't put Mackenzie down for longer than five minutes for the first two years. And then she finally does, and she's taken away. She couldn't live with herself."

"I get it." Mrs. Cabot looked at her dubiously. "Okay, so maybe I don't, but I understand why she didn't tell me-I just don't. I know she said it was painful, but…it's me and Alex. We didn't have any secrets."

They both stayed silent for a few minutes. Each pondering why Alex took this secret to the grave. (Or in Olivia's case, Nowhere'sVille USA)

"Olivia, if you don't mind my asking, how did you find out about Mackenzie?"

Olivia said the first think that came to her mind. "I'm a cop. There isn't much I can't find out."

The older woman seemed to be happy with the answer. "I understand why you wanted to talk to me about this, but why tell me that it's urgent. The way you sounded, it sounded like someone was in the hospital. Surely this could have been discussed at a later, less urgent date."

Olivia hadn't exactly planned how she was going to tell her, but she had no time to think right now. This grandmother deserved to know the truth about her granddaughter. She cleared her throat. "Okay, about two weeks ago-"

She was interrupted by a loud, high pitched scream, followed by a familiar voice screaming, "Olivia!" Olivia nearly jumped out of her seat. "Mackenzie."

Mrs. Cabot followed suit. "What?"

"Sophia I will be right back." She took off running, leaving one very confused Cabot in her wake. As she was approaching the room, she spotted a nurse run out and toward the stairs. In the room, Mackenzie was huddled in the corner and Serena was a few feet away from her. "What happened?"

"Olivia I am so sorry. I left her for one minute to go get a cup of coffee and when I got back, the nurse was here injecting something into her IV."

Olivia picked up Mackenzie's chart and handed it to Serena. "When are they going to learn to have their nurses read patients charts before doing **anything** to them?"

Serena looked at the chart. The very first thing she saw was spelled out in big, bold red lettering. 'Afraid of needled and medicine vials. DO NOT, under any circumstances let patient see them. If an injection is needed, it is best to do it when the patient is asleep.' Serena put the chart down and went to get the doctor.

Olivia sat down on the floor next to Mackenzie, only to have her move away from her and inch closer to the bed. "Kenzie it's just me. Everything is going to be okay."

Mackenzie was hysterical. "**EVRYTHING IS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY OLIVIA! THEY RAPED ME. TWO DIFFERENT GUYS FOR FIVE WEEKS. THEY STRAPPED ME DOWN TO A COT, PUMPED ME FULL OF DRUGS AND TERRORIZED ME FOR KICKES AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT, NOTHING. I COULDN'T YELL, I COULDN'T SCREAM, I COULDN'T MOVE. I WAS POWERLESS."**

Olivia tried as hard as she could not to cry. She hated that Mackenzie was in so much pain and that there was nothing she could do to help her.

She wasn't screaming anymore, probably due to the sedative the doctor had snuck in and injected into her IV, but she was still crying and rocking back and forth. "I told him that I had no idea where she was-I didn't even know who she was. I told him what I knew, which was **nothing**. But he didn't believe me, I mean why should he right? He wanted that information and he didn't care what he had to do to get it…Every time I told him that I didn't know a damn thing, he had them do something to me. But they were smart, they didn't beat me in any obvious places, they did it where no one could see, so they used my back. Since I've been doing better lately, Dr. Mendia gave me a full physical today and that's when she saw the bruises. My God, if you'd seen my back, you'd think my skin color was black, blue and yellow. And when the guys dumped me in that park, they made sure that I was still alive. That way, no one would be able to do a full boy exam like they would do on a dead person. That way, no one would see the bruises until they had already started to heal…But I really don't know why they didn't just kill me. It would have been a lot easier on them and I'd probably be a lot better off."

"Now you listen to me. I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of hell you were in, but its over now and things will get better. You have to trust me on that." She wiped a few tears from Mackenzie's eyes and took both of her hands in hers. "Mackenzie I didn't know you when all of this started, but I know you now and I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." Try as she may, Olivia was no longer successful in holding back her own tears. "I haven't even known you fora monthand I already love you more that I ever imagined myself loving any child."

Mackenzie stopped crying and looked up at Olivia.

"Things may not seem that good right now, but they will get better."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Olivia hugged Mackenzie and wiped the rest of her tears away. Once she was significantly calmer, Olivia helped her back into bed and tucked her in.

Mackenzie sighed. "You know, I had to go through all this and I'm still no closer to finding my mother."

Olivia sat down beside her. "Actually Kenzie, I've been meaning to talk to you about that…I know your mother."


	11. The Truth

Well, I just watched Alex's cameo on SVU, (Don't worry, I know there are still some people who haven't seen it, so I won't spoil it for you.) but it has given me a great new story line. Well almost new. It's still along the same lines, just...better. It fits with the TV show now.

Once again, thank-you to everyone who had reviewed my story, your reviews are greatly appreciated.

* * *

"You what?"

"Mackenzie I am really sorry for not telling you, it's just…well with everything going on it was hard to find the right time."

Mackenzie took a moment to digest what was just said and then began her questions. She wanted to know everything about her mother. "What's her name?"

"Alexandra Victoria Cabot, but everyone called her Alex."

"What does she look like?"

"Well, you two are built practically the same way. She's only a little taller than you, blond hair, blue eyes."

"How old is she?"

"She just turned 30." Olivia debated on whether or not to tell Mackenzie that Alex was 'dead' or that Alex was in the Witness Protection Program. But she was her daughter and deserved to know the truth. And if it came up, that was what Mackenzie would hear.

"So she had me when she was 15" Mackenzie muttered before asking Olivia another question. "How do you know her?"

This question made Olivia a little uncomfortable. She had no idea how Mackenzie would react to finding out that her mother is a lesbian. "We met about four years ago. She was the Assistant District Attorney assigned to the Special Victims Unit." Olivia answered hesitantly.

"That's not all." Mackenzie had picked up on Olivia's hesitation.

Olivia laughed; realizing that there was no way Mackenzie was anyone but Alex's daughter. "No, it's not." Olivia answered plainly. Mackenzie deserved the truth. "Your mother and I were...lovers."

Mackenzie nodded. "So you know her pretty well then?"

"Yeah, we were close..." Then it hit Olivia that Mackenzie didn't care that she had just told her that her mother was gay. "Wait, you don't care that your mother is a lesbian?"

"Were you two happy?"

"Yeah."

"Really happy?"

"Yeah."

"Truly Happy?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't see a problem."

"But you're Catholic."

"Yeah, so." Mackenzie laughed as she responded. "I don't agree with every single Catholic belief. I say that if two people love each other, no matter what gender they are, and are really, truly happy together then all the more power to them."

Olivia couldn't believe that she was worrying about what Mackenzie's reaction would be.

"Did something happen to her?" Mackenzie asked. "You're using past tense."

Olivia looked out the two windows and around the room for any cameras or other recording devices before answering. "Okay Kenzie, you're her daughter so you deserve to know the truth." She lowered her voice. "Two years ago, Alex was prosecuting a few members of a powerful Columbian drug cartel. Now they weren't happy about it to say the least, so they put a hit out on her. She was shot and everyone was told that she was dead." Olivia had to pause a moment to wipe a stray tear away. "A few days later, Elliot and I get a call from an FBI agent. We go to meet him and he had Alex with him. He explained that Alex was going into the Witness Protection Program and we were the only two, besides the FBI, to know about it…Which means now there are only three people, besides the FBI, who know about Alex still being alive. And we have to pretend that Alex is dead-because if we slip up, her cover is blown."

"So she's okay?" Mackenzie asked hopefully.

Olivia didn't know, but she didn't want to worry Mackenzie. "I hope so." She was about to change the subject, but Mackenzie saved her from having to do so.

"So…do I have any brothers or sisters?"

"No. We had actually just begun to discuss that topic before Alex was taken away."

"What about other family members?"

"Well." Olivia began. "You have an aunt, Elizabeth, who just recently became engaged to a man named David. And your grandmother, Sophia Cabot."

"I have a grandmother?" Mackenzie asked in disbelief. When she was Mackenzie Johnson, all of her grandparents were dead.

"Yeah."

"What happened to my grandfather?"

"He was killed in a car accident before I even met your mother." Olivia looked away.

"Liv what's wrong?"

"Nothing sweetie." She took Mackenzie's hands. "Now I know that this is a lot to take in all at once, but your grandmother is out in the waiting room."

She had Mackenzie's attention immediately. "What? She's out there? Right now?"

"Yeah. Right now." She gave Mackenzie a minute. "Do you want to meet her?"


	12. Not Because I Have to, Because I Want To

**-Cabot Estate, 3 weeks later-**

Sophia Cabot, Olivia Benson, Serena Southerlyn, Casey Novak and Mackenzie Johnson (Soon to be Cabot) were all sitting around a fairly large table in the back of the study discussing Mackenzie's guardianship.

A lot had happened in the past few weeks. The most important being Mackenzie's release from the hospital. A few days after her third surgery, her doctor could no longer find a reason to keep her, so she was released into the custody of her guardian, who at the time was Serena. And Serena, being a close friend of Olivia's, brought Mackenzie to Olivia's apartment. But after living together in Olivia's small, one-bedroom apartment, the two realized that other arrangements were necessary.

It's not that the two couldn't live together-they actually got along quite well-but with everything Mackenzie went through, and was still going through, she needed more space than Olivia's apartment allowed.

Since Serena was technically Mackenzie's guardian and her apartment was substantially larger than Olivia's, they went to her first. But as it turned out, the former ADA was just beginning a relationship with a certain SVU ADA.

_She certainly hadn't expected this. "But I thought you were straight?"_

"_Yeah." Casey laughed. "So did I."_

"_All this time…and you never said anything."_

_Serena cut in. "She was just waiting for the right girl to come along."_

Serena had explained that since Alex was 'dead' and no adoption had taken place since Mackenzie was kidnapped over fourteen years ago, that custody would go to Mackenzie's grandmother.

This is where the matriarch of the Cabot family found a problem. She had no problem with Mackenzie living with her, God knows that she has enough space, it was just that she didn't believe that Alex would have wanted her to be Mackenzie's legal guardian.

During their weekly visits, Alex often told her mother how good Olivia was with children. And as any mother would, Alex dreamed about being re-united with her daughter. She once told her mother about a dream she had in which the three of them were at a carnival together. It was nothing fancy, but they were having fun just being together as a family.

That made Mrs. Cabot believe that her daughter would have wanted Olivia to have custody of her one and only child.

_Olivia put her glass down. "Excuses me?"_

"_Don't excuse me Olivia, you heard exactly what I said."_

_Olivia didn't know what to say. "W-Why?"_

"_Because Olivia it's what Alex would have wanted. If it had been legal, I believe that you two would have gotten married a long time ago and that would have made you Mackenzie's mother as well. Now, in the eyes of this family you were married, so I want you to have custody."_

_It took a minute to digest what was just said. "But, that's the reason I'm here. It's not that I don't want to adopt her, because believe me I do, it's just that…I don't have enough time or space for a child."_

"_Olivia I have no problem with Mackenzie living here with me. God knows that there's enough room for both Mackenzie and I to have all the space we need and she really loves being down at the stables, and with her horse being shipped down here anyway…I would have no problem with her living with me. But Alexandra would have wanted you to be Mackenzie's mother. I can't very well be a mother to my own granddaughter now can I?"_

_Olivia laughed. "No, I...uh...I guess you couldn't."_

"_Now, about the whole time deal. As long as you start cutting down on over time and working your normal work hours I suspect that you will have a lot more time on your hands."_

And that is how they all came to be sitting here. During law school and for a time after, Casey had worked with a custodial lawyer, so she knew a thing or two about adoption proceedings.

"Okay, here is how this is going to go." Casey began. In front of her were a bunch of papers. "First Serena has to sign these." She handed Serena a packet and got her started with signing the papers. "Because a judge gave her temporary custody, she will have to give up that custody before we can move on."

As soon as Serena was finished, Casey took the papers and then gave another packet to Mrs. Cabot. "Now Mrs. Cabot, these are for you to sign. After Alex's death, custody immediately went to you. And since you want Olivia to have custody, you'll have to relinquish your custodial rights." After a few swipes of her pen, she was done and Casey once again took the papers and got another packet. "Alright Olivia, these are for you." She handed Olivia the packet. "These are the adoption papers. Once you sign them, you will be Mackenzie's legal guardian."

Olivia took a minute before signing the papers. After these papers were signed, she would be Mackenzie's legal guardian now and for forever. _'What the hell am I doing?_' She thought to herself. _'I have no clue how to raise a child…What have I gotten myself into?' _She looked around the room, only to find that she had the support of everyone in the room, except herself. She turned to Casey. "Casey can I talk to you for a second?"

Casey looked to Serena. "Umm…yeah, sure." They excused themselves from the room and stepped out into the hall. "What's wrong?"

Olivia shut the door and sat down on the bench. "I don't think I can do this."

Casey looked around the hall. "Do what?"

"This!"

"What's this Olivia?"

"This." Olivia waved her arms around. "The whole mother thing."

Casey joined Olivia on the bench. "You're kidding right?"

Olivia looked up at her with tears in her eyes.

"Okay, apparently not."

"I just…I don't know how to be a mother. I mean my own mother didn't even act like a mother."

"You're worried that you'll make the same mistakes your mother did."

Olivia nodded.

"But Olivia look at you. You may not have had the easiest time growing up, but you turned out fine."

"But what if I really screw up. What if I end up really screwing her up?"

"Olivia are you hearing yourself? Look around you. There are plenty of people in your life who will help you. Mrs. Cabot raised two daughters and Elliot is still in the process of raising his. I'm sure that they would love to help you. And I know Serena and I don't have any kids, but we will be too….Look Olivia, no one knows how good a parent they will be until it's too late for them to back out. But you have a chance here."

Olivia looked up at her.

"If you're really that worried about your parenting skills, you can back out of this before you have a chance to 'screw her up.' But just think for a minute… what will happen to Mackenzie if you walk away? She's lost her real mother, the woman who raised her, her sisters, her friends, her home, her life. And then with everything else she's been through…When do you think she'll reach her breaking point? And when she does, do you want to be the one who helps her through it?" Casey went back into the study and left Olivia to think things through.

**… **

**…. **

**-10 Minutes Later-**

After much thinking and running different scenarios and situations through her head, Olivia had made her decision. But she felt that she should talk to Mackenzie before she finalized that decision. She walked back into the study and immediately noticed the empty seat. "Where's Mackenzie?"

Serena and Casey looked over at Mackenzie's vacant chair. Truth be told, they hadn't even noticed that she left. Mrs. Cabot, however, knew exactly where her granddaughter was. "I told her to go check on Cassie and the puppies. She was getting a little anxious sitting in here waiting." She was not so happy with Olivia right now and had no problem with letting her know.

Olivia left the room. Serena turned to Casey. "She wouldn't do that…Would she?"

Casey shook her head. "I hope not."

Olivia went into the den and then into the small room off of it that was known as "The Puppy Room." Sure enough, Mackenzie was sitting right next to Callie holding one of her puppies. The blue merle mother got up to greet Olivia as she opened the gate and let herself into the room. "It's all right girl, stay with your puppies." The dog did as she was told. And for that, Olivia walked over to her and gave her a little pat on the head.

She didn't want to force Mackenzie to talk, she knew she had to be made at her as well, so she sat on the couch and waited for Mackenzie to initiate their conversation.

But she didn't, so Olivia did. "When did she have the puppies?"

Mackenzie put the puppy down and picked up another. "Four days ago."

Olivia was a little surprised that Mackenzie hadn't told her before now, but in Mackenzie's defense, she hadn't been around much in the past week. "How many?"

"Twelve. Eight females and four males."

"Wow, that's a lot of puppies." She went over to the box and picked up a puppy. "They're really cute."

Mackenzie looked at the ten puppies remaining in the box. "Yeah. Grandma said this is the most colorful litter she's had in a long time. She had four white, three blue merle, two tri, two sable merle and one sable."

Olivia petted the puppy in Mackenzie's arms. "I like this one."

Mackenzie nodded. "Yeah, he's cute. But this little girl is my favorite." She put that puppy down and picked up the sable one. She was a cute little puppy with a full white collar, white muzzle and blaze, diamond on her head and white tip on her tail "I think I might keep her."

Olivia noticed Casey outside of the room and put the puppy down. Mackenzie saw the look on Olivia's room and turned around. "Oh hey Casey."

Casey came into the room. "Hey sweetie." She walked over to Olivia and held out the adoption papers and a pen. "It's now or never." Mackenzie put the puppy down and looked at Olivia. "I know you're scared Olivia. I just don't want you to feel that you have to do this."

Olivia took the papers. "I'm not doing this because I have to. I'm doing this because I want to."


	13. The Letter

**Office of Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak**

Casey sat at her desk looking over a bunch of files and papers all related to Mackenzie's upcoming trial. Mackenzie had made a positive ID of the two men who kidnapped and raped her, two Columbian brothers by the names of Hector and Juan Alvarez, of as well as the other two men who helped with her kidnapping, another pair of brothers, this time Russian, by the names of Sergei and Stephan Markovic. The Alvarezs were currently being charged with rape, kidnapping, assault, drug trafficking and possession with intent to sell and the Markovics were currently being charged with kidnapping, accessory to rape, drug trafficking and possession with intent to sell.

With the positive ID, Casey had a slam dunk case. And after finding out whom the men are and that they are all associated to Caesar Valez, Casey felt determined to reopen and finish the case Alexandra Cabot died trying to close. She was also positive that Mackenzie's kidnapping and rape had something to do with Alex.

Casey was so deep into thought that she didn't even hear her phone ring for the first three times, but she picked it up on the fourth ring. "Novak." She said taking her eyes off of the piles of files and papers on her desk.

"What the heck took you so long?" Olivia said on the other end of the phone.

"It's nice to hear from you too Olivia." Casey replied sarcastically. "And I was working on your daughter's case." She explained.

"Oh, sorry. How's it going?"

"Good, should be a slam dunk. Just making sure the defense council can't screw it up." She said, purposefully leaving out the part where she reopened Alex's last case.

"That's good Mackenzie will be glad to hear it. Umm…I was wondering if you're not too busy, if you could watch the little darling for me. Her grandmother went out of town on Friday and hasn't come back yet and I have a meeting with agent Hammond, and she doesn't want to be alone."

"In that huge house I wouldn't want to be alone either." Casey joked. "Yeah, sure I can watch her. I need to prep her for the trial anyway."

"Good, is it okay if I bring her over now?" Olivia asked.

"Sure."

"Okay, we'll you in about fifteen minutes."

"Sounds good, bye." At that, Casey hung up her phone and put all of the papers related to Alex's case away.

**-15 Minutes Later**- 

Casey and Mackenzie were relaxing on the couch in Casey's office talking.

They were talking about the trail when Mackenzie said, "I just don't think that I can do it Casey."

Casey looked at her in disbelief. "What?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I just can't do it."

"Kenz," Casey started, using her nickname for Mackenzie. "Do you want these men to get off? To go unpunished for raping, kidnapping and torturing you?"

"Of course I don't, but you don't understand Casey. I can't face them."

"Five weeks Kenz, five weeks." Casey said, trying to get through.

"Don't you think I know that? I was there." Mackenzie said as she got off the couch and started walking around the room.

"Wow." That was all Casey could say. She knew and understood why people were afraid to face their attackers, but this was Alex Cabot's daughter. The daughter of a woman who let nothing get in front of her putting the bad guys away, not even her own life. Since the minute Olivia found out who Mackenzie was, all she told Casey about was how much she was like Alex. That gave Casey an idea.

"I guess she was wrong then."

"Who was wrong?" Mackenzie asked.

"Olivia. She said you were just like your mother. But she wouldn't let these guys intimidate her."

"She wasn't raped and she didn't have to face these guys when she was fifteen." She replied harshly. She wasted to testify, but she was scared to death.

"No, but you know what she did have to face when she was fifteen? Being a single mother. She devoted everything she had to you and to being a good mother. She died trying to put this crew away and you have the chance to finish what she started and you won't?" Casey knew that was pretty low, but she wasn't about to let these guys get away.

**Same Time – Different Place**

Olivia was there alone standing by a dark corner with her hand on her gun, waiting for agent Hammond. She saw him coming from the shadows and walked over to him. "Well, what are we here for this time." She was somewhat less than happy to see him and he could tell.

"I know you don't like me very much right now-" He started, but Olivia interrupted him.

"No, see I don't like you at all right now and I doubt that I ever will." She said, making herself perfectly clear.

"Fine, I get it. But we are not here to discuss your dislike of me. We're here to discuss your daughter."

"Oh, no." Olivia started; she knew where this is going. "You are not taking her away from me." She walked away, but Hammond followed her.

"Detective will you just listen to me for a minute." He said as she was just getting near her car. It would take a lot to convince this stubborn detective to give up her daughter.

Olivia turned to him and motioned for him to go on.

"Alex heard about Mackenzie. She wants to see her."

Olivia got out her keys.

"She hasn't seen her since she was a baby. She was taken away from her for God sakes. The only reason why I'm asking you to let Mackenzie join the program and be with Alex is because when Alex 'died' custody of Mackenzie went to her mother and since she's signed custody over to you, you're the only one who can let her go."

"She is the only part of Alex I have left." Olivia said, trying to hold back her tears.

"If your daughter was kidnapped and then found, wouldn't you want her back?" Hammond said, trying to be sympathetic towards Olivia. He was aware of Olivia and Alex's relationship.

Olivia wiped a tear away and then replied, "What about the trial."

"She can leave as soon as it's over. We have connections and can speed it up."

Olivia just nodded and looked around. Trying not to let anymore tears escape.

"And with Ms. Novak reopening the Valez case because of the information from Mackenzie's case, they should be home soon."

'_Thanks for telling me Casey.'_ "What will we tell people. I mean one minute she's here and the next she's not?" Olivia asked as she wiped a few more tears away.

"She lived at a boarding school in Canada. If anyone asks, she's there getting some stuff she left and saying good bye to her friends. And if she needs to stay in the program longer, we can say that she's finishing off high school there." He answered simply. "We are also starting a federal investigation into the adoption agency as well as Emily Johnson." He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Maybe this will convince you." He handed her the envelope and walked away.

Olivia got in her car and drove back to the precinct. She parked her car outside the station house and looked over at the passenger's seat, where she had put the letter. On it was her name in Alex's handwriting. She was shaking as she grabbed the envelope, opened it up and took out the letter.

_Olivia,_

_Hey sweetie, I'm sorry it took me so long to get a letter to you, but the Feds take a lot of convincing. You have no idea how much I wish I wasn't here, that I was back in New York and in your arms. I miss you so much. I miss my life. This isn't my life. As much as I try to convince myself that it is, I can't. I can only hope that I get to go home soon and return to being Alex Cabot. _

_I heard you found Mackenzie and that you adopted her. I am glad that you are getting to know her and spend time with her, because you are her second mother, but I need to see her Olivia. I haven't seen her in fourteen years. She was two and a half years old the last time I saw her. I was robbed of a chance to raise my own daughter, to watch her grow up. I missed out on all her firsts; her first step, her first word, first haircut, first loose tooth, first day of school, first crush, first kiss, even her first skinned knee and first heartbreak. I have no clue what she's like or even what she looks like. Mothers are supposed to know everything about their children, and I know less than nothing._

_As soon as the trial is over, I need her to join the program and be with me. It will let me be with my daughter and it will be a lot safer for her. They tried to kill me for putting a case together on them. What do you think they'll do to Mackenzie after she testifies against them? These guys don't care who they have to kill or what the consequences are. As long as they scare people, they will be able to go on doing it. And I will not allow then to get to my daughter._

_Please, Liv as soon as the trial is over, let her go._

_All my love, Alex_

Olivia's mind was made up. Mackenzie belongs with her mother and as soon as the trial is over, she would be.


	14. People vs Hector and Juan Alvarez

Okay, first off I'd like to apoligize for taking so long to post. It's just been really crazy with school and everything and trying to find my muse, who left yet again. But everything is going well now, so I should be posting regularly.

**

* * *

****Supreme Court - Supreme Court - People vs. Hector and Juan Alvarez**

It was amazing just how fast things go once the Feds become involved. In a matter of less than four weeks, Hector and Juan Alvarez and Sergei and Stephan Marcovic had all been booked, indicted, arraigned, and both juried had been selected and trial dated planned.

It was also decided that there would be two separate trials. One for the Alvarez's and one for the Marcovic's.

Casey was sitting at the prosecution table making some last minute notes, defense council, Trevor Langan, was at the defense table eagerly awaiting the arrival of his clients, Judge Petrovsky seemed to be knitting something behind the bench and Olivia was sitting behind Casey, minus her charge. After speaking with a child physiatrist, it was decided that it would be best for Mackenzie if she had to see as little of her attackers as possible. So, she would only be in the courtroom when she was called to testify and when the verdict was rendered. Otherwise, Serena had volunteered to watch her so that Olivia could watch the progress of the cast in court.

**-18 Minutes Later-**

One or two minutes late was acceptable, but being nearly twenty minutes late was abusing the privilege.

Casey took on last look at the defense table and stood up. "Your honor, the people are ready to begin."

The judge was just about as annoyed as Casey. She didn't like to have her time wasted. "Where are your clients Mr. Langan?"

The usually over-confident attorney shakily stood up to address the judge.

"Well?"

He had no answer.

"That's what I thought. I'm revoking the defendants bail and issuing a bench warrant for their arrest – all four of them."

"Your honor." Langan objected.

Petrovsky wouldn't hear any of it. "Save it Mr. Langan. If these two defendants left town, or god forbid the country, I'd bet that the others did too." With the bang of her gavel, court was adjourned.

**-Later-**

Olivia was in her car driving to what she hoped would be a relatively quick meeting. After court was let out, the whole squad had used every available option in search of their four missing perpetrators, even joining forces with the FBI. After ten long hours of tedious searching, all four were finally discovered by the authorities in the cargo hold of a plane halfway to Russia. Once they were all on a plane back bound back for New York, Olivia realized that she had a daughter to get home to and quickly packed up her things and headed out.

But as soon as she opened the door to her car, she received the call that currently had her driving through the middle of nowhere.

After a few more minutes of mindless searching, she finally reached the terrible spot she and Elliot had been called to nearly three years ago and where she had met Hammond again two weeks ago. She parked her car and waited.

_Knock. Knock_

Olivia jerked awake at the obtrusive sound. "What the hell." Momentarily disoriented, she quickly remembered where she was and got out of the car. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but at some point while waiting for the federal agent, she had.

"You know, this isn't the safest place for anyone, let alone a woman, to fall asleep at night in her car."

"Yet, it was safe enough to bring Alex here." Olivia did a few hear rolls to loosen her stiff neck. "We have got to stop meeting like this." She mumbled.

"The crime rate in this area was a lot less a few years ago and you know that detective, and besides that…"

Olivia stretched out her arms and shook out her legs. Then she tuned out his rambilings and leaned back against the car.

"…did you even think of what would happen to Mackenzie if-"

Olivia cut him off right there. "Stop right there. My daughter is just about the only thing I think about now since you've taken her mother away from me. And if you hadn't been…" She checked her watch, it was 11:15, "..over three hours late, I wouldn't have fallen asleep in the first place. So if anything had happened to me, you would have to be the one who would have to explain it to her."

The agent took a deep breath. He knew that what he was about to tell the venerable detective would be received with a mixed reaction. "That's actually what we're here to discuss."

Olivia was confused. On top of that, she was also tired which made her easily frustrated. "Look Hammond I am in no mood for this. Mackenzie is leaving in six weeks and I'm not going to waste that time by standing here talking to you." She opened the car door. "And, as I'm sure you know, I have an early funeral tomorrow."

Mrs. Cabot had suffered a major heart attack while in Florida and Monday and had not survived the traumatic event. Olivia had hoped that she would live to see her daughter return, but she died believing that Alex was dead.

"**Detective!**" Hammond yelled.

Olivia put the car in drive.

"**Alex is coming back!**"


	15. Mackenzie's Testimony

Hi guys, here's the next chapter. The next 3 chapters should be comming quicker than they have in the past...sorry for the wait.  
As always, thanks to all my loyal reviewers. You guys make my day.**

* * *

Supreme Court - People vs. Hector and Juan Alvarez **

Court was just about to start. Olivia and Serena were just outside the courtroom trying to calm Mackenzie down, Casey was sitting at the prosecutor's table jotting down some last minute notes and Hector and Juan Alvarez were sitting at the defense table with their attorney trying to figure out how they were going to manage to get out of this with their lives. Sergei and Stephan Markovic had plead out, so there wouldn't be a trial for them. With Casey's help, they would spend the rest of their lives in jail.

Elliot, the ER doctor who treated Mackenzie, Mackenzie's physiatrist, the paramedics who brought Mackenzie to the emergency room and the lab technician who ran the DNA tests had all testified on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. The defense was scheduled to open their case next week. Olivia had testified yesterday, so today it was all up to Mackenzie.

"Alright Mackenzie, there are going to be federal agents all over the courtroom. They'll be in plain clothes because they're undercover, so you won't know who they are, but they're there." Olivia explained. The Feds knew full well how much danger Mackenzie was putting herself in by testifying, so they made sure that she was well protected, all the way down to the hidden Kevlar vest she was wearing and the paramedics outside the courthouse. True, you have to go through metal detectors and security guards to get into the courthouse, but a few have been known to manage to sneak in weapons.

"And we'll both be in there." Olivia said, motioning to herself and Serena. "So will Casey, Elliot, Munch, Fin and Captain Cragen." Cragen thought of his whole squad as his family. He had a special place in his heart for his lead female detective and SVU's first resident ADA. Since this case involved their daughter, it was given top priority and got the whole squad's attention.

Then the bailiff came out and called Mackenzie's name. It was time for her testimony. Olivia nodded and went in first, giving Serena a minute to speak with her client.

"Okay Mackenzie this is it. You know what to do. Casey and I have prepped the hell out of you, so you should be all set." That was an understatement. Being summer, Mackenzie didn't have school, so practically everyday since they had gotten an incitement, either Casey or Serena had been going over Mackenzie's testimony with her, grilling her with possible defense questions and getting her used to an actual courtroom. Serena had even brought her to watch one of Casey's trials, just so she could get a feel for the typical activity in a courtroom during a trial. She had been a little overwhelmed at first, but she got used to it after a few visits. That was exactly why Serena had brought her. It's better to be overwhelmed during someone else's trial rather that your own.

Unconsciously, Mackenzie's hands began to shake. Serena took her hands and made Mackenzie look her straight in the eyes. "Listen to me Mackenzie. You can do this. Just go in there and tell the truth."

Mackenzie shuddered and let out a long, staggered breath. "Tell the truth…okay…I can do that."

"Good." Serena moved aside. "Than let's go."

Mackenzie entered the room first. It was a lot more crowed that she had imagined it would be. Both sides of the aisle were almost completely filled. She didn't know anyone sitting on the defense side, but that was a good thing. As she walked, she realized that she hardly knew anyone on her side either. A few, she recognized from the precinct and around the DA's office. Like Bureau Chief Elizabeth Donnelly and District Attorney Arthur Branch. As she walked further, she saw Olivia, Elliot, Munch, Fin and Cragen all sitting in the front row. There was also her aunt Elisabeth and soon to be uncle David sitting with them. She had met her aunt for the first time, well the first time that she remembers, at her grandmother's funeral. Casey had turned her chair around and was talking with Olivia, but she stopped as Mackenzie neared.

The bailiff opened the gate and escorted Mackenzie to the witness stand where she was sworn in. Serena took a seat next to Olivia and whispered something to Casey before Casey stood up to begin her examination.

"Please state your full name and birthdate for the record." Casey asked as she crossed over to the left side of the witness stand.

"Mackenzie Paige Cabot, June 22, 1989."

"Alright Mackenzie, we're going to start at the very beginning. What do you remember about the day you were kidnapped?"

The defense attorney, Trevor Langan, stood up. "Objection, leading."

"Your honor." Casey pleaded.

"Overruled." The judge ordered. "Take it easy Mr. Langan." She turned to Mackenzie. "You may answer the question."

Mackenzie nodded and looked over at the defendants, the two men responsible for turning her whole life upside down and causing her all sorts of pain, and she became very nervous. Casey caught this and moved in front of her, blocking her from seeing them and vice versa. Then Mackenzie seemed to gain a little confidence.

"Well, I was getting into a cab and then I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head. Then I passed out." Mackenzie began.

"What happened when you woke up?" Casey asked.

The defense attorney stood up again. "Objection, leading."

"What?" Casey asked in disbelief. "Since she's here right now, I'm guessing that she did, at some point, wake up."

"Overruled." The judge ordered, again.

"Go ahead Mackenzie." Casey instructed.

Mackenzie explained everything, from the time she woke-up in the warehouse until she was taken into the smaller room. "It was a small, dark room. I remember there being a camera in one of the corners by the door. This guy…he…he…he gave me a shot that…it sort of paralyzed me. I couldn't…I couldn't move or talk, but all of my senses became like a hundred times better." Casey handed her a tissue and gave her a minute.

"Who gave you the shot?" Casey asked, moving over toward the jury box.

Mackenzie swallowed hard. "Juan Alvarez."

Casey nodded. Go on."

"Then he asked me where my mother was, my biological mother…And I told him that I didn't know, that I was trying to figure that out before they took me…He asked me that question everyday and I still gave him the same answer." She paused for a minute. "And…when I told him that…he gave me the shot and he and this other guy…they raped me…It was like he expected my answer to change."

Casey gave Mackenzie another minute to collect herself before she asked her last question. "Mackenzie…do you see the men who raped you in this courtroom today?"

"Yeah." Mackenzie nodded and pointed to the defendants.

"Let the record reflect that the witness has identified the defendants, Hector and Juan Alvarez." Casey said, making her way back to her chair.

"The record so shall reflect." The judge ordered. "Court will be in recess until 2pm."

**-Later that Day-**

"**Objection!**" Casey nearly yelled as she stood up and slammed her hands down on the table. She, Judge Petrovsky, the jury and everyone else in the courtroom were all disgusted and fed up with the way the defense was treating Mackenzie. "Defense is essentially accusing the **victim** of kidnapping, torturing and raping herself!"

"I am simply saying that she may have hired someone to do this to her." Mr. Langan explained.

"What would she gain by doing that?" Casey stared at him in disbelief. "Look at her!" She gestured toward Mackenzie, who was no longer confidant, but had her knees up to her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks and was rocking back and forth in the stand. "She is scared to death. She's so scared in fact, that she's having a panic attack…And you think that she did this to herself?" Casey was fuming, she had heard a bunch of ridiculous explanations, but this one took the cake. She was glad that Olivia, Munch, Fin, Cragen and Elliot had been called away because of another case and were not in the room right now.

The defense attorney was at a loss for words. Just as Judge Petrovsky was about to speak, Mackenzie passed out and fell out of the witness stand. "Bailiff, clear the courtroom, we're in recess. Have the defendants brought back to Rikers and Mr. Langan here arrested for contempt of court." Petrovsky ordered.

With all the agents in the room, everyone was out in a matter of seconds and the paramedics were on their way in.

Casey was the first to get to Mackenzie's side, then Serena. "Not again Mackenzie." Serena said.

"What do you mean not again?" Casey asked. She and Serena were doing everything they could think of to wake her up.

"She did this once in the hospital, when Olivia was first getting her statement."

"How long did it take her to wake-up?"

"I don't know? The doctor said that she was fine a minute or so after we left, but…" Serena trailed off and listened to Mackenzie's chest. "Shit, she's not breathing. Case, her bag is on the front bench right next to where I was sitting, her epi-pen is right in the front pocket." Casey ran across the courtroom as Serena began CPR.

"Serena." Casey found the epi-pen and threw it to Serena. Within seconds of her jabbing the epi-pen into Mackenzie's thigh, Mackenzie regained consciousness and began coughing. Then Casey brought her inhaler over and helped her to sit up and use it. She was somewhat able to breathe after that, but she had a nasty gash on her forehead, right above her right eye, from the fall and was very confused.

Just then, the paramedics' barged in. "Well it took you long enough." Petrovsky fumed. In all the commotion, Serena and Casey had forgotten the judge's presence.

"Sorry your honor." One of the paramedics apologized.

"Where the hell were you for the past six minutes? If it hadn't been for these two's fast actions, this girl would be dead."

The paramedics quickened their pace to Mackenzie. They weren't about to tell an angry judge that they had walked three blocks away from the courthouse to get a cup of coffee and that's why they took so long getting into the courtroom.

Luckily for Mackenzie, both of the paramedics were females. She still has some serious male trust issues and refused to let any man, save for Elliot, Munch, Fin and Cragen, within ten feet of her.

After a few minutes, it became apparent to the paramedics that Mackenzie needed to be taken to a hospital.

"No." Mackenzie breathed through the oxygen mask.

"Ms. Cabot, you need to be checked out by a physician. That gash on your forehead needs to be sutured and you have a mild concussion."

"I'm not going."

The paramedics looked to Serena in a silent plea, but it was no use. This girl had inherited her mother's stubborn streak and when her mind was made up, there was no negotiating.

Serena sighed and turned to the paramedics. "Can't you do it here?"

Reluctantly the paramedics agreed, although not before briefing Serena and Casey on treating head wounds and dealing with concussions. After another fifteen minutes with the oxygen mask, a nebulizer treatment and sixteen stitches, Mackenzie was a little shaky, but other than that she was as good as new.

Once assured that Mackenzie was going to be fine, the paramedics left and all the agents and court officers went to stand guard in the hall outside the courtroom, which was now filled with reporters trying to get in. It was well known that news travels fast through the criminal justice system. But it wasn't known how fast until the incident had been on every news channel and radio station only ten minutes after it began.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" A worried Judge Petrovsky asked. It wasn't everyday that you had the most popular courtroom in the whole courthouse.

"I'm fine your honor, just a bit confused." Mackenzie answered as she tried to stand up.

"Maybe you should sit for a little longer." Casey said at seeing how much trouble Mackenzie was having trying to stand up.

"No, it will be better once I start moving around." She explained, finally getting to her feet.

Petrovsky laughed. "Every bit as stubborn as her mother."

Mackenzie grimaced. "And darn proud to be." She hadn't meant it to be funny, but everyone was laughing, so she decided to go along with it…until Olivia came running into the room.

"**Mackenzie!**" She ran over to Mackenzie. "What the hell happened? You've been on TV and the radio and no two have the same story-"

"**Hey!**" Mackenzie yelled to get her attention. "Easy, mild concussion here." She, Casey and Serena then proceeded to tell Olivia everything that had happened.

"And that's how I got this." Mackenzie pointed to the wound on her forehead.

Olivia took a minute to take it all in and then she hugged her daughter. "You sure you're okay."

Mackenzie signed. "Yes mother."

"Olivia, why don't you go home and get some rest." Casey interrupted. "Mackenzie can spend the day with Serena and I and I'm sure that Cragen will let you take the rest of the day off."

"No he won't." Cragen said as he walked through the courtroom doors. "He's ordering you to take the rest of the day off and rest."

"And Casey," Petrovsky began. Casey was shocked. She used her first name. It was well known that Judge Lena Petrovsky only used first names with people she had the utmost respect for and it takes a lot to gain her respect. Apparently, saving someone's life did it. '_I should have thought of this a while ago._' Casey thought. "We'll put off the trial for the rest of the day and reconvene tomorrow. That was we can all have a break."

On the way out of the courtroom, Mackenzie was bombarded by reporters. Finally, on the courthouse steps, Serena agreed to let Mackenzie answer a few questions. Cragen announced that a formal conference would be held later.

**Apartment of Olivia Benson**

Olivia was glad to have the day off, but what she wasn't glad to have was all this time alone. Already today she had cleaned her apartment, done her laundry, done the dishes that had somehow managed to take over her sink, gone grocery shopping, finished reading a few books and went for a long run that would cover her for the next two weeks. She knew that she was supposed to be resting, but she couldn't. She was too worried about Mackenzie. The fact that she had little time left with her newly adopted daughter was weighing heavily on her mind.

The ringing of her telephone pulled Olivia from her thoughts.

"Olivia Nichole Benson! What are you doing? You should be asleep or at least resting." Olivia had to laugh at her daughter's mock seriousness.

"Said the one with the concussion." Olivia retorted.

"Ha! I can't sleep for at least six hours, so there."

Olivia yawned. "And what makes you think that I wasn't."

"Because I know you. You can't stand not having anything to do. And-if you had been resting, you wouldn't be tired."

The detective knew when to admit defeat. "Okay, okay you caught me. I've just been thinking."

"About?"

"About you and your mom."

Mackenzie knew where this was going. "Olivia listen to me. I'm not going to be away that long. I leave when the trial's over, right? That means that the Alvarez's will join the other two in jail. That means that one very powerful Columbian drug ring and the one very powerful Russian drug ring will be with out their leaders. That means that they will be unable to get the stuff they need to make money and therefore, we will have put a very serious dent in their plans. That means that they will blame each other. That means that there will be a huge fight. That means that most of them won't make it out alive. That means the two groups will fall apart. That means that, more than likely, all the remaining people will all be killed in a power war or join other groups, but either way, both groups are gone." She paused for a moment to make sure that Olivia was following her. "That means that I will be able to come back soon and so will mom. You just have to believe it Liv." She paused and let out a long sigh. "And stop crying."

Olivia didn't know how they did it, but both of her Cabot girls could always tell when she was happy or sad, laughing or crying. All without her even making a sound. So, she followed her daughter's advice and stopped crying.

"You feel better now?"

"Yeah." Olivia sighed. "I do." Truth be told, just hearing her daughter's voice made her feel better, another trait shared by both Cabot's. But Mackenzie had made a lot of sense. "I just wish that I could believe as much as you do." She muttered.

"It's not easy Liv, but what else do we have to believe in?"

Olivia thought...She was right.

"Okay well, I have to go now, but Casey wants to talk to you."

"Okay then I guess I'll talk to you later."

"No you won't. As soon as you're done on the phone, you're going straight to bed…Got it?" Mackenzie instructed.

"Yes mom." Olivia joked.

Mackenzie laughed. "Night Liv."

"Night sweetie. Love you."

"Love you too. Here's Casey." She said as she turned the phone over to Casey.

"You hear that detective? No dessert and go straight to bed." Casey joked.

"Geeze, she's worse than her mother."

"You're all she's got Olivia." Casey said, turning the tone of their conversation. "She wants to make sure that you'll be okay."

"Yeah, I know." Olivia admitted.

"And besides, I do believe that you were given a direct order to get some rest. You wouldn't want me to have to report you to your superior officer now would you?"

"Okay, okay…fine, I get the hint." She shook her head and sighed. :"So, what's up councilor?"

"I just wanted to let you know that the trial should be over in four to five weeks."

Olivia knew that it would be sooner, but she wasn't supposed to, so she pretended to be surprised. "Wow…why so soon?'

"Well everyone wants this case over fast. And since Langan made Mackenzie pass out, actually stop breathing and get a concussion, Petrovsky is denying every motion her makes as well as keeping his ass locked in Rikers." The both laughed at the last bit of information.

"Well he deserves that, but how can you be so sure that the jury will make-up their minds that fast?"

Casey hesitated, which was duly noted by the detective. Casey knew that Olivia would not like what she was about to tell her. "We're considering a plea bargain."

"Excuse me!" Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Before you say anything, it was Mackenzie's idea. I've offered them both life without any possibility of parole. It's not a good offer, it's actually a pretty shitty offer, but they'll get away with their lives. But if we continue with the trial and the jury finds them guilty, I'll definitely go for the death penalty, no questions asked." Casey explained.

"It was Mackenzie's idea?" Olivia asked, making sure that she heard right. "Since when does Casey-no deals-Novak let anyone tell her what to do with a case, let alone a fifteen-year-old?"

Casey didn't reply. She knew that Olivia was just upset and needed to release her anger on someone. "Okay, well I better get going or we'll be late."

"Late for what?" Olivia asked curiously.

"For our manicures of course." Casey stated, like they'd be doing anything else.

"Oh, why didn't I think if that?" Olivia said, playing along.

Casey laughed. "See you tomorrow detective."

"See you tomorrow councilor." Olivia was about to hang up, when Casey's voice came back through the phone.

"Oh and Liv, Mackenzie says go straight to bed."

"Yeah, yeah, tell her I'm going."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye." Olivia hung up the phone and headed down the hall to her bathroom. After a nice, long, hot bath she would go to bed and try sleeping…But she wasn't promising anything.


	16. Time

Time.

To some it is meaning less.

Just like that line from that television show that no one's ever seen, but that everyone can't help but know.

"Like sand through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives."

To the above-normal, above-average, non-everyday person who is fortunate enough to have the free time in the middle of the day to watch the show – it is means nothing more that "show's on.' But to the normal, average, everyday person whose only free time is spent sleeping, it means so much more.

To the single mother who is working two jobs to make enough money to be considered bankrupt – time is something that there just never seems to be enough of.

To the parents of six who never graduated from high school and never had a job that paid $6.00 and hour – time is something that they wasted on foolish childhood rebellion.

To the man who just lost his wife and newborn sons – time is something he forfeited to alcohol, cigars, cards and cheap women.

To the detective whose lover was shot and placed in the witness protection program – time is something they thought they would always share.

And to Olivia and Mackenzie – time is something that has just been stolen from their grasp.

Two weeks. That was the amount of time left in the trial. That was the amount of time Olivia had left with Mackenzie.

For the past two days, Olivia had been sitting alone in the middle of her apartment replaying her conversation with agent Hammond.

_Hammond stepped away from the car._

"_What the hell." Olivia cursed, getting out of the car once again._

"_I'm telling you detective, take some time off and spend it with your daughter."_

_Olivia shook her head. "No…I can't…take that much…time off." Hammond's previous statement was just now hitting her. Her tone softened. "Wait…she's coming back?" _

"_That's what I've been trying to tell you. Ms. Cabot is coming back to testify in relation to your latest case. We told her that it is dangerous, but she insisted."_

_Olivia nodded and blinked a few times while looking around. "W…when?'_

"_Two weeks."_

"_Oh my God." Olivia gasped._

"_She'll be here for two days and then she and Mackenzie will be leaving after the verdicts."_

_Olivia's head whipped around. "No..no no no no no. You said that I had six weeks with her…W…Wha…Her trial's not even going to be over by then."_

"_Yes it will be. Both verdicts are due back the day they leave…" He looked over as the strong detective rapidly lost control. He had to remind himself that he needed to stay detached. He was looking out for the safety and well-being of Alex and Mackenzie, not Olivia. He cleared his throat and his mind with one swift motion, then returned his gaze to the crumbling detective. "Until then, officers will be posted around the clock at the Cabot estate." And with that, her got in his car and drove away._

Olivia shook her head. Hammond was right, she should take some time off. She stifled a laugh as she pictured the Cabot estate. So much security for one little girl and her grand-. "Shit." In all the chaos, Olivia had forgotten that since Mrs. Cabot's death, Mackenzie was the only occupant of the Upper East Side mansion.

"Shit shit shit. How could I be so stupid?" She ran around her apartment until she found her shoes, coat, gun, badge and keys. Then she was out the door.

**Cabot Estate**

Olivia pulled up to the driveway and was seemingly unsurprised to see that the FBI had already posted a few agents. She got out of her car and walked up to the first agent. She handed him her badge and waited while he checked and compared information. After a few seconds, Olivia grew impatient.

"Look, I'm sure that you both know who I am, so can I please just go in for a minute to check on my daughter and then I'll come right back out and let…" She waved her hands around. "…this whole thing continue?"

The first agent ignored her completely and walked away, leaving only Olivia and the other agent.

"Wait-" Olivia pleaded to the agent's departing back, then she turned to the second. "Just let me go check on Mackenzie and then I'll come right back out." When neither agent responded, she decided to go in anyway.

The door was already halfway open by the time one of the agents finally spoke. "Your daughter's not in there detective."


	17. Catching A Break

Come on guys, reviews have been lacking lately. Many thanks to those who continue to review, but there are many who don't. So...until I get 100 reviews (Only ten), the next chapter will not be posted.

* * *

'_Damn it,_' Olivia thought. '_Why does everything have to be so damn difficult?_' She closed the door and walked back down the steps to the agent. "Okay," She checked her watch. "…it's almost midnight and I haven't slept in the past two days, so can you please just cut the bullshit and tell me where she is?"

She had dealt with this agent before. Agent Steven McClain was not one to just answer a simple question. He wasn't a man who was talked to by many, so anytime he was spoken to, he tried to draw out the conversation as much as possible.

Olivia could visibly see him processing her request. She felt for the agent, she really did, but Mackenzie was far more important. "Please." She pleaded. As a single father, she hoped that he would sympathize with her.

He sighed. "She came back here a couple of nights ago after she spent the day with Ms. Southerlyn and ADA Novak. They figured that you were still resting, so they took her back to Ms. Southerlyn's apartment. She said that Mackenzie could stay there as long as you needed her too."

**Apartment of Serena Southerlyn**

Olivia hastily knocked on the door. She only hoped that agent McClain was telling the truth and Mackenzie was really here. It wasn't his fault that she didn't trust the feds, but the fact was that she didn't.

For a minute, she thought that they could be sleeping, but the laughing coming from inside the apartment made her think otherwise. So she knocked again, figuring that they hadn't heard her the first time. Since Olivia and Serena were friends, the doorman knew Olivia and so she didn't need to be buzzed or called up. One of the disadvantages to a twenty-four doorman who knows you was just that fact. Without being buzzed or called up, Serena wasn't expecting anyone to come knocking on her door.

The door opened and a laughing Casey emerged. At first, Olivia was a bit shocked, but that passed once she remembered Casey and Serena's budding relationship.

"Hey Olivia, come on in."

"Hey Olivia." Serena greeted from her spot on the couch in the living room.

"You guys I am so sorry." Olivia began. "There's just been so much going on and I forgot that about Sophia, so I assumed that she'd be there with Mackenzie and it wasn't until today that –"

Casey stopped her with a reassuring hand. "Slow down detective."

"Olivia we've been fine." Serena said as she turned off the television and made room for Casey.

"Yeah." Casey added. "It's been fun."

Olivia was about to speak, but Casey went on. "When Cragen told me that you'd asked for some time off, we figured that you just needed some alone time."

"And Mackenzie is the sweetest kid. It's been fun having her around. I hope that you let us borrow her once in a while."

Olivia sat across from them. "That's the problem. There's not going to be a once in a while…She's leaving in two weeks…That's why I asked Cragen for the time off."

"Why?" Asked a small voice from the hallway.

"Oh Mackenzie." Olivia sighed. This was not how she's imagined telling her. She hadn't exactly planned how she was going to tell the teen, but she was pretty sure that this wasn't it. She shook her head and looked straight up into the eyes of her daughter. She wasn't ready for what she saw. '_Damn it._' She thought. '_Why can't I catch a break?_'

**Cabot Estate**

"You sure these dogs have been fed?" Olivia asked as she escaped the rush of dogs to the kitchen.

Mackenzie closed the kitchen doors. "Yeah, the maid's been feeding all the animals for the past few days." Without another word, she went up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"**Mackenzie!**" Olivia yelled up the winding staircase, but she was only met by the sound of a slamming door.


	18. Two Weeks

You guys rock...my reviewers that it. Yes, I realize that waiting for a certain number of reviews isn't necessarily a nice thing to do, but I felt that some reviewers needed special incentive.  
-But anyway...I got my hundred reviews, so here's the next chapter.  
-Also, be sure to check out my other fic,Olivia's Thoughts. It's nothing major, just a collection of poems written by Olivia at various points in her life.

Thanks guys,  
Much love from SVU Chicky

* * *

Mackenzie was lying on her oversized, queen bed cuddling her sleeping puppy. Since she'd been weaned, Lexie, as Mackenzie had named in honor of her mother, had been her best friend. She may have only been seven weeks old, but she was a damn good listener. 

Olivia entered the room. "Kenzie we need to talk about this."

"So talk."

She took the chair next to the bookcase and moved it to the side of Mackenzie's bed. After a few moments of thinking, she began. "Mackenzie, this is in no way my idea. A few days ago, I met agent Hammond again and…he…w…well…" She fumbled with her words a bit, not knowing how much to tell the young teen. Mackenzie is, however, the daughter of the woman who is at the center of all this secrecy.

Olivia looked up and into her daughter's eyes. What she saw was exactly what she had seen earlier.

Anger. Sadness. Confusion. And a total sense of abandonment. So much had happened to this girl in the past six months. Her eyes didn't show half of what she was thinking and feeling right now. But then Olivia was something hiding behind the anger and confusion.

Trust. Mackenzie had never had a positive adult figure in her life that she could really trust. Olivia didn't want to be just another untrustworthy adult in her life. So, she decided to tell her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God.

Olivia moved from the chair to the bed. Mackenzie tried to move away, but Olivia wouldn't let her. "You want to hear this?" Once Mackenzie stopped, she began. "I met with agent Hammond again two days ago. We discussed recent changed in both your and Alex's cases. The FBI feels that your life is in danger because of your connection to Alex and because of the people who kidnapped you. As soon as the trial is over, you will be joining Alex in the program and you'll both be relocated."

She purposely didn't tell her of Alex coming back, but since the risk was too great having them both in the same place at the same time, she wouldn't get to see her mother when she was back anyway. So Olivia didn't feel the need to tell her.

Mackenzie nodded and took in all the information. "Do you want me to go?"

"Oh no sweetie, of course I don't." She took Mackenzie is a big hug. "Not at all…But your mother does." Mackenzie looked up at her questionably. "And I know that you want to be with her too."

"I do, but…it's just the whole Witness Protection thing. A new name, a new history, new home and new relatives and people to know. And not to mention that we'll be away from you, everyone at SVU and New York. What if I slip up or forget something?"

"You won't." Olivia reassured her. "You're like acting and memorizing lines. Just pretend that your new life is a script." She wiped a stray tear from Mackenzie's cheek.

"It's not that simple."

"No, its not." Olivia admitted. "But you'll be okay. You'll be with your mother and she'll help you." They'll be fine. She knew it would be hard, but they'd make it through. Alex Cabot wouldn't have it any other way.

"But enough of that now. I have the next twelve days off, so we have twelve days to do anything you want."

A wicked smile spread across Mackenzie's face. "Anything?"


	19. Mommy and Me, and Lexie too

Okay fokes, here it is...I have noticed that many people aren't reviewing and seeing as I am on many people's author alert list, this is confusing to me. If you could** all** please review, I would really appreciate it. Even if it is just a one word review.

I would like to thank those of you that have helped me get to my 111 reviews from the bottom of my heart. You guys are simply amazing and I love you all. Maybe I'll give special thanks to certain thanks to individuals in the next chapter, depending on who reviews. (hint, hint)

A/N: The next few chapters will have no real specific length. Some are long, others short and other in between.

* * *

The first day of their 'Mommy and Me' vacation or their "Mommy and Me…and Lexie too' vacation, as Mackenzie had named it, was pretty uneventful. It was mostly spent packing up Mackenzie's things. That way, they didn't have to worry about it later in their vacation. 

Olivia was also able to find homes for all of the collies, because there was no way that she could take care of them all by herself. They were mostly all going to other cops and ADAs, with a few going to friends. The adults would all be leaving within the next couple of days and the puppies would be leaving when they reached nine weeks of age.

Elliot was taking two of the little ones. One he was giving to Maureen, who had just recently graduated from college, as a house warming present. The other, he would be keeping at his house for when his kids were over. Serena and Casey were also taking one. A few had even been selected to be a part of the FBI's newest chapter of the Witness Protection Program, Undercover Dog Operatives (UDO). Since German Shepherds and Rottweilers are the most obvious of guard dogs, WPP personnel are not too keen on placing them with individuals in the program who need extra protection. It would make them stick out to much. But no one would expect a sweet collie to know how to go for the jugular.

That only left one puppy left from the littler. Olivia knew who she was going to. She was going to be an engagement present for her favorite Texan.

Now, the only animals left were the horses. Mackenzie's young palomino Paint/Thoroughbred mare, Warrior Princess or Xena, and Alex's rare pure White Paint, Ice Princess or Icy. The FBI was going to be coming for them on Saturday. Both horses would be meeting Alex and Mackenzie at their new home.

Besides their security details, a few other agents had been in and out of the house all day. Mostly to have Olivia sign different documents relating to Mackenzie's case and to update her on the case.


	20. Fancy Night Out

Okay guys, because I love you so much, here is the next chapter.

Thanks to every single one of my reviewers. I would have everyone's name here, but that would just take forever. Maybe I'll e-mail you guys and thank you all. Who knows...it's all dependant on what I have time for.

* * *

So far, today had been a little more eventful than their first day of vacation. After spending most of the morning in the garden, it became apparent that Mackenzie had inherited her mother's green thumb. Alex never did understand why her mother felt it necessary to have a gardener on the payroll.

Olivia sauntered down the hallway as she put her last earring in. "Hey Kenzie." She waited for a response, but hearing none, she proceeded through Mackenzie's room. "Kenzie?..Come on Mackenzie, we have to leave in twenty-five minutes…Mackenzie?" Mackenzie wasn't in her bedroom or bathroom, so that only left one possible place. Olivia ran, well as close as one can get to running in strappy three-inch heeled sandals, down the stairs and through the living room. Sure enough, Mackenzie was just where she thought she would be.

"Mackenzie Paige Cabot!" Mackenzie jumped and nearly dropped Lexie.

"What is the one thing I asked you not to do?" Mackenzie stood up and Olivia saw the mess all over her new dress.

Mackenzie tried to brush the puppy's fur off her dress, but only succeeded in making a bigger mess. Olivia eased up. _'Kids will be kids.' _She thought. _'At least she's not doing any of the things I did as a teen.'_ "Now this is why I bought two."

Mackenzie laughed. She hadn't understood earlier why Olivia had bought her two new dresses. One would have been fine, or so she thought. Now she understood why. She tried again to wipe the fur off, but it was useless. She looked up and smiled sweetly. "I love you mommy."

"Yeah," Olivia guided Mackenzie out of the room. "You'd better love me all the way up those stairs and into the other dress."

Mackenzie trudged all the way up the stairs.

"And hurry up. The reservation is for seven which means that we have to be out the door in the next twenty minutes."

"Yeah, yeah." Mackenzie yelled from the confines of her room.

Tonight was going to be a big night. Tonight was to be a celebration of life. This whole event had been planned by Mrs. Cabot before she passed away. She had designed it to be a celebration of Mackenzie's adoption. And in a way, it still was. It had just been tweaked a bit.

It was still a celebration of the adoption, but now it was so much more. Besides Mackenzie's adoption, it was also a celebration of Casey and Serena's relationship, Serena's new job, Elliot and Kathy giving their marriage another try, Maureen's graduation from college and her getting a new job and apartment, Kathleen's early acceptance to NYU, Dickie and Elizabeth turning thirteen, Fin reconnecting with his son, Munch's first and second wives remarrying and him no longer having to pay them alimony, Cragen making it alcohol free for ten years and even a celebration of Mackenzie's aunt Elizabeth and Abbie's engagements and Abbie's approaching due date. But tonight was also a celebration of those who would not be in attendance. Sophia Cabot, who was killed in an automobile accident, and Detective Lennie Briscoe, who passed away earlier this year due to cancer.

Because Mrs. Cabot had made all of the arrangements prior to her death, Olivia and Mackenzie felt that it would not do her justice to waste all of her careful planning, so they decided to go ahead with the event. And besides, everything was already paid for. No one who would be attending this dinner, save for Mrs. Cabot's eldest daughter, would ever make as much money as this whole night was going to cost and as this was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity, they all decided to go through with the evening.

Olivia had even bought herself a new dress. It was unlike any she had. No one knew this, but her favorite color was actually pink.

"_Liv you're more than a girl than I am."_ Alex used to joke. She loved teasing Olivia about that fact. But nevertheless, her favorite color was pink. And she looked damn good in it too.

The dress was made out of light pink silk. It was sleeveless and ended just below her knees. To accompany it, she had gotten strappy rhinestone covered sandals with a three-inch heel and an off-white purse with designs in the same pink color as her dress.

After the gardening, Olivia and Mackenzie had gone to the salon and gotten their hair done and got manicures and pedicures. The hair had been a big deal for both. Mackenzie was a stylist's dream and had let Debbie go to town. She had gone quite a few shades lighter with her highlights and was now pretty close to being a blonde, but with her natural color she could get away with it. Contrary to the stylist's thoughts, Olivia had argued that her hair was to dark to have highlights that light, so she only went a few shades lighter. She refused to have bangs made, but she did allow the stylist to feather the ends. Mackenzie however, had been the stylist's dream. She had let Debbie go to town. Her normally straight hair that had come to the middle of her back was now permed into waviness and fell just above her shoulder blades.

Now the nails weren't such a big deal. They had both gotten French manicures and pedicures with rhinestones and designs on their ring fingers. Mackenzie had a single blue rose on both ring fingers that matches some part of both dresses with a rhinestone in the middle of them. Olivia, on the other hand, had gotten a more stylish French manicure with a single rhinestone on the corners of both ring finger nails.

Back in her room, which had previously been Alex's, Olivia was going through her jewelry box trying to figure out exactly which pieces to wear. She already had her earrings in, so that made two less pieces she had to worry about. And, of course she would wear her gold teardrop necklace that matched the identical one Alex had. That left a ring and possibly a bracelet. Nothing she had went with the ensemble she was now in.

She used to ask Alex why she did it. Why she would spend hours getting ready for a fancy dinner or party.

"_I like it." Alex would reply. "I get to leave Alex the lawyer behind and become Alex the princess."_

Truth be told, Olivia liked it too. It was nice to shed the grit and grime of the heinous crimes she saw on a daily basis and enjoy being a woman.

Something caught her eye hidden in the back of the box. It was Alex's sapphire tennis bracelet. Olivia had bought it for her for their one-year anniversary. She had searched for weeks, going from jeweler to jeweler, trying to find a bracelet that had sapphires the exact color of the young ADA's eyes. When she found the white gold diamond encrusted sapphire tennis bracelet, she couldn't believe its beauty…or its price tag. But in the end the price didn't matter. It wasn't everyday that you got to celebrate the one-year anniversary of your first date with the woman of your dreams. The night she gave it to her, Alex hadn't made it home, so she had put the bracelet in Olivia's jewelry box for safe keeping. Ever since then, Alex hadn't spent enough time at her own apartment to put the bracelet in her own jewelry box, so it had remained in Olivia's.

"This'll do." She took the bracelet out of its hiding place and fastened it onto her wrist. She then closed the jewelry box and picked up the gold box she had purchased earlier. "Mackenzie come here for a minute."

"Hold on I'm almost done." Mackenzie shouted from the next room. A minute or so later, she joined her mother in her room. She was now dressed in a shy blue spaghetti-strap dress that fell just above her knees. She also had on strappy sandals with a two-inch heel that matched the silver of the sparkles on her dress. Going with the blue flower theme of her nails, the flowers on her bracelet and earrings were made of diamonds, light sapphires and dark sapphires.

Olivia smiled at the sight of her daughter. "Now do I know how to pick a dress or do I know how to pick a dress?"

Mackenzie twirled around. "I'd say you know how to pick a dress."

Olivia stood up and followed in her daughter's step and spun around. "And?"

"Who knew the detective was actually a lady."

Olivia handed Mackenzie the box.

"What's this?"

"Geeze, you and your mother. If I wanted you to know right away, I wouldn't have had it put in this box. Now open it and find out."

Mackenzie slowly untied the burgundy ribbon.

Olivia checked the time. "We have seven minutes Kenzie."

"Yeah well, my make-up will only take five."

Olivia stared at her.

"Okay, okay." She quickly untied the ribbon and opened the box. Inside lay a single gold teardrop on a thin gold chain. "It's just like yours."

Olivia took the necklace. "Yep, and your mother's. I thought this way, we can make it a family thing." She clipped the necklace and Mackenzie admired it in the mirror.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes it is." They admired it for a few moments, before the chime of the clock interrupted them. "Go put on your make-up."

"But that clock's fast."

"Yes and we're late, so get moving."

**-Three Hours Later-**  
**The Champagne Garden**

Laughter from one fable filled the entire restaurant. It wasn't obnoxious laughter though, it was a pleasant laughter. The sound of friends enjoying each other's company. A restaurant of this caliber wasn't used to such blatant displays of happiness, but it was a change well received.

Olivia was almost overwhelmed, and seeing her line of work, that wasn't normal. So many conversations were going on within the group that it was hard to follow any one of them.

'_They had to give us a circular table.'_ Olivia thought. It would be so much easier to follow a conversation had they been seated at a regular table.

Cragen, Munch, Fin and fin's son Ken, were currently involved in a heated debate over who was going to win the next World Series. Munch, per Mackenzie's request, was trying his hardest not to bring his conspiracy theories into their conversation. So far, he was doing a very good job.

Kathleen, Elizabeth and Dickie were updating Maureen on different things that had happened since the last time she was home and vice versa. Every once in a while, Elliot or Kathy would join in their conversation, but for the most part, they were discussing how to save their marriage and make it work this time.

Abbie and her fiancé, Adam, had been talking to Casey and Serena about their impending arrival – who, as it turns out, was going to be a little boy. But Serena and Casey had excused themselves a while ago…a long while ago.

"Maybe they're making out in the bathroom." Mackenzie joked. During the course of the evening, Mackenzie had talked to just about everyone, but a good part of it had been spent getting to know her aunt.

ElizabethCatherine Johnson was Alex's older sister by four years. She had been a soap opera actress, but after ten successful years in front of the camera, she felt she needed a change. So for the past five years, she had spent her time writing sappy romance novels and has even had a few published. Her fiancé, David Branson, was the vice-president of Branson advertising. The company was founded by his grandfather, Anthony Tyler Sr. in the 1940s. After his retirement, her promoted his son, David's father, Anthony Tyler Jr. to president and his grandson to vice-president.

A hand on her shoulder pulled Olivia from her daze.

"That's your cell." Casey said as she and Serena rejoined the group. She was referring to the ringing coming from Olivia's purse.

As Olivia left the table, Mackenzie turned and whispered to Serena, "By the way, you still have lipstick on your neck." If possible, both Serena and Casey turned a brighter shade of red that Serena's dress.

Olivia flipped open her phone. "Benson."

"Olivia its Andrews."

Olivia sighed. She hoped that the reason she thought he was calling wasn't the real reason her was calling. Andrews was another captain at the 1-6 and was filling in for Cragen for the night.

"I'm calling to give you a heads-up."

"A heads-up on what?"

"Emily Johnson is in town."

Nope, definitely not what she was expecting. "What?..Well has she been brought in yet?"

Andrews hesitated. "No."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because she hasn't been caught yet. Listen Detective, this case has been getting a lot of press from the beginning and with the feds starting up and investigation into Mr. Johnson, her picture had to have been released at least a couple dozen times…People are spotting her and calling it in. All of the sightings have been checked out, but this is no dumb woman."

'_Shit.' _Olivia thought. Mackenzie was just starting to put this behind her and now it was all coming back. She sighed. "Thanks for the warning Capt."

"It's more than a warning Olivia. The feds think she's back to get Mackenzie. Don't let this girl out of your sight. Ms. Johnson was been sighted in many different disguises and your security details haven't been briefed yet. Just be careful."

"We will. Thanks Capt." She shut her phone and walked back to the table. There was more than one empty seat. "Where's Mackenzie?"

Abbie looked up. "She went to the bathroom."

Olivia turned and started running toward the bathroom.

"Liv what's up?" Her partner asked worriedly.

"Mom's back in town." Elliot immediately knew that she wasn't talking about Alex. He looked to Munch, Fin and Cragen and then four of them made it to the bathroom a second after Olivia did.


	21. Mom’s Home

**Chapter 21 – Mom's Home**

All four had their guns drawn by the time they entered the bathroom. Olivia already had hers out as well. God only knew where she had it hidden.

The ladies room appeared to be empty, but the good detectives knew otherwise.

Munch stayed outside the bathroom and guarded the door to prevent anyone from entering. Cragen stayed at the inside pf the door to prevent anyone from exiting. Fin crossed to the other side of the room and stood opposite Cragen. That left Elliot and Olivia to search the stalls.

One by one, they pushed the stall doors open to reveal nothing…until only the handicapped stall on the other side of the room was left. Guns at the ready, Elliot nodded to Olivia and counted back from three with his finders.

3…

2…

1…

As soon as he pointed to the door, Olivia kicked it in so hard that she and Elliot were almost hit with the recoil.

"Olivia help." Mackenzie pleaded. She was being held in the back of the stall with a gun to her head. Panic tears were free-flowing down her face.

Olivia knew she had to save Mackenzie, that was a given. But she also knew that Olivia the cop would be the only one able to do it, even though Olivia the mother was screaming to get out. "Emily, think of what you're doing."

If it wasn't for the fact that she had a gun to Mackenzie's head, Olivia would have to say that she found the woman slightly attractive. Just passing Mackenzie at 5'6" and shorter than Olivia at 5'7 1/2", she looked to be about 5'7". With her long wavy mahogany brown hair, blue eyes and neatly pressed outfit, she seemed to have just stepped out of a country club.

Emily looked Olivia over. "You must be the new mom. Olivia, is it? Well guess what? I've been Mackenzie's mother for fourteen years. I raised her."

"You did not." Mackenzie objected. "My teachers raised me. You put me in McKenna when I was only three years-old."

"Quite." Emily ordered and pressed the gun harder against Mackenzie's temple. "I may not have been the one who actually raised her, but my money paid for the people who did. I paid for her to stay in that school, I paid for all her extra-curricular activities, I paid for her horse and its board, I paid for her to go off campus and have professional acting and singing lessons, I paid for her to have professional pictures taken every six months so that her portfolio would stay updated, I paid for her braces and I even paid for a new library to keep her from being expelled when she went through her rebellious stage…So don't any of you try telling me that she's not my daughter."

Olivia noticed that she loosened her grip of the gun while she was arguing. She also noticed that Emily didn't seem to realize that she had been moving closer the entire time she had been talking.

'_Alright keep her arguing.' _Olivia thought. "But she's not your daughter is she? You kidnapped her from her mother who loved her."

"She didn't love her! She wasn't watching her. They were in a store and she put Mackenzie down and looked the other way. A loving mother keeps her eyes on her child."

"But Emily, you hardly ever had your eyes on Mackenzie. She was always away at school in a whole other country. For the fourteen years you claim to have been her mother, you only saw her for twenty-eight weeks. That's only seven months altogether."

"That bitch didn't deserve her. She was only seventeen and she had a two and a half year old. That's not right. She had her little bastard child while me and my then-husband couldn't even have one."

"But you had Courtney."

"Courtney's not my daughter. She was my ex-sister-in-law's baby. I was just supposed to carry the baby and when she was born, she was supposed to go with her parents, but then her mother and father died and Tim just had to take the baby in. It wasn't until Tim left and I found Mackenzie that I decided to raise Courtney as my own."

Olivia took another unnoticed step foreword. "What made you decide to do that?"

"I wanted Mackenzie to have a sister. Siblings are important, especially sisters. There's no bond like the bond between sisters."

"What about the bond between a mother and her child? You destroyed that bond between Mackenzie and her mother."

For once, Emily did not have anything to say.

"What about the adoption agency? How did you get them involved?" Olivia asked.

"They were the ones who handled Courtney's adoption. Since we were named as legal guardians in her parents will, she was only there for about a day, but I do know how to make a lasting impression. When I got Mackenzie, O took her there and with the help of this one guy, we forged her adoption."

'_Lasting impression my ass.'_ Olivia thought. "What's his name?"

"Lawrence McKenna." He founded the McKenna academy. Mackenzie was the first one enrolled." The name brought a smile to the woman's face.

Olivia took that chance to make her move. The second Emily's eyes dropped, Olivia smacked the gun out of her hand and grabbed Mackenzie. After that, everything went in slow motion.

She remembered kicking the gun away and pushing Mackenzie out of the stall. As she was picking up the gun, she felt something wasn't quite right. That seemed way too easy. But she looked up to late. A flash of silver and a searing pain was the last thing she remembered before the world went black.


	22. Consciousness

I think that this is the best chapter I have ever written. It took a while, but it's worth it.

Once again, thanks to my loyal reviewers for their wonderful reviews.

* * *

Everything came to her slowly. First the bright light. Then the smells. Then the voice. That voice, she recognized it. She knew it somehow, but she didn't know how.

She focused on the voice. She couldn't make out any words, it just sounded like mumbling. She followed the voice. It was wavering, like the owner of the voice was pacing. Louder and softer and louder and softer. Then it stopped. And everything went black again.

This time, she didn't want to wake-up. The pain was unbearable. If she didn't get any relief soon, she had a good feeling that she was going to pass out.

Slowly, the pain began to subside and she felt her senses return to their regular functions. Things were different from the last time she woke-up. There was no bright light, but the smell of antibiotics still hung heavily in the air. There was also no voice. No familiar calling pulling her into consciousness and out of her haze. The only sound in the whole room was a soft beeping coming from behind her.

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…

She focused more and detected a faint dripping coming from the same spot.

Drip..…Drip..…Drip..…Drip…..Drip…..

But still no voice. But maybe the difference in light had something to do with that. She needed to move. She could feel her muscles cramping under what felt like a thin blanket. She concentrated on what she thought would be the easiest to move, her fingers. But it was easier said than done.

After struggling for a few minutes with no success, she gave up. She was too weak to have a power battle with her body. She decided that she would wait for the feeling to return before trying to move any other extremity.

She gave her body a moment before beginning her next task of opening her eyes. This was with out a doubt going to be the hardest. Her eyelids felt like lead and lifting them felt like running sandpaper over her eyes. It took more energy than her weak body had and she once again feel into unconsciousness.

Slowly, the voice called her back into consciousness. At first, she couldn't make out what was being said, but it eventually came to her.

"Olivia."

One by one, she gained feeling back in all her body parts.

"Liv."

She tried to move her fingers and was surprised when they actually moved. She opened her eyes and then it all hit her. The sight, the smells, her daughter, where she was and the events of the previous night.

_She looked up just in time to see a flash of silver._

_Elliot was in motion immediately. "Second gun!" He yelled. But it was too late, Olivia was shot. The force of the bullet propelled her out of the stall and into the wall._

"_**OLIVIA**!" Mackenzie tried to get to her mother, but by that time, Fin had grabbed her and was holding her back. Casey may not have been a detective, but she had enough common sense to know when something's wrong. She entered the bathroom and immediately had Mackenzie thrust into her arms. "What the-"_

_Fin cut her off. "Get her out of here." One look across the room and she quickly turned around and drew Mackenzie out of the room._

_Once they were out, Fin took out his cell phone and joined Cragen. "This is Detective Odafin Tutuola, Manhattan SVU. I need a bus at The Champagne Garden. An officer has been shot. I repeat, we have an officer down." _

"_Check for a pulse." Cragen said. He had his hands over where Olivia was shot and was trying to stop the bleeding. Fin put two fingers on her neck…She had a pulse, very weak, but she had one._

_Elliot brought a now handcuffed Emily Johnson out of the stall. "She's lucky she's not a man." He didn't need to speak the last part, as all in the room knew. If she had been a man, they would have needed a body bag to bring her out. Messing with a cop's partner is a bad idea. Especially in a squad as close as this one._

Then, none other than Dr. Janet Hanson walked into the room with a chart in her hands. She looked up and saw Olivia to be awake. "Good morning detective. Are you planning to stay awake today?"

Olivia looked confused and tried to speak, but Mackenzie stopped her. "Don't try to talk yet." She helped Olivia take a sip of water.

The doctor nodded. "Listen to your daughter detective. I've already told her everything that's going on with you." Olivia nodded, but still looked confused, so the doctor explained. "Since you came in last night you've been in and out of consciousness. It's been almost twenty-four hours and you've been awake maybe fifteen minutes." She put the chart down and took her stethoscope. "And at that I'm being generous."

Both Olivia and Mackenzie sat in silence while the doctor evaluated Olivia. When she got to her bandaged shoulder, she stopped and looked at Mackenzie. "Mackenzie why don't you go down to the cafeteria for a few minutes with Ms. Southerlyn? You both look like youcould usesomething to eat."

Mackenzie looked at Olivia, who nodded. "Okay." She gave her mother's hand a quick, reassuring squeeze and left the room in search of Serena.

One the door closed, Olivia turned to the doctor and cleared her throat. "So doc, how bad is it?"


	23. Perspective

Okay guys, sorry its been so long since I've last posted, but I've had a serious case of writers block. But now the ideas are flowing, so I should be posting sooner.

Thanks for the reviews, you guys rock.

* * *

"You know Olivia, you should try coming by when someone hasn't been shot or attacked."

"That bad huh?"

"We'll see in a minute." She delicately pulled off each layer of gauze encompassing Olivia's left shoulder to reveal a small circular hole exposing tender muscle surrounded in black and blue bruised flesh. She cleaned it out and let Olivia get her first look at it.

"Ah! What the hell!"

"She got you pretty good."

"I'd say she got me better than pretty good…How bad is it really Dr. Hanson?"

The use of her surname did not go unnoticed by the doctor. But, she went on like nothing had happened. "I haven't seen anything like this in a while. Not since Al-"She cute herself off and began redressing her patients wound.

"Since Alex." Olivia finished. "Look doctor its okay. It's been almost two years, I've accepted her death."

Dr. Hanson just nodded and busied herself with redressing Olivia's wound. She remained silent until Olivia's shoulder was completely bandaged again. "Okay, looks good."

Olivia shifted her position. "Wish it felt good."

"It will, given time. That's the good thing about this type of gunshot wound. It went straight through without hitting anything major. Clean shots tend to heal faster."

Olivia swallowed hard. "Was Alex's a clean shot?"

"Yes." Dr. Hanson made sure to look Olivia straight in the eyes to make sure that the detective knew she was telling the truth.

Olivia nodded and looked out the door window, willing Mackenzie to come back. She didn't want to spend anymore time alone with this particular doctor than absolutely necessary. But at the same time, she wished that Mackenzie would stay away. One of the reasons the teen was in therapy was because of her first meeting with the 'good' doctor.

"So um, I'll write you a few prescriptions for pain meds and some antibiotics and then get you a sling and some info on treating gunshot wounds and-"

Olivia cut her off. "This isn't the first time I've been shot. I know how to treat gunshot wounds."

"O-kay." Dr. Hanson shook her head. She used to be friends with this detective. She made one mistake and it was all down the drain. "But it's still procedure and I'm required to give it to you."

"Procedure? Is it procedure to have four men hold down a rape victim?"

"Look detective, that was a mistake. It was late and I was in the middle of my second twelve-hour shift after being up all night with a three-month old. I was tired and overworked and I hadn't eaten since that morning. I was running on empty."

"And that's an excuse for screwing up a sixteen-year old's life?" Olivia raised her voice.

"Her life was screwed up before she was put into my care." Both women's voices were now above normal talking level.

"So that made it okay? She was already screwed up, so nothing you could possibly do could make her worse? Stop trying to justify what you did." Olivia couldn't believe it. This woman was trying to justify her treatment of Mackenzie. "Mackenzie hardly trusts anyone now, let alone men. The majority of her therapy sessions that isn't spent discussing the six weeks she spent in that warehouse are spent discussing her first meeting with you."

That hit the doctor hard. The truth was that she was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, overworked and underpaid. She hadn't wanted another patient. Having eighteen patients in a hospital whose max was twelve patients per doctor, she had just wanted to make her job a little easier. She hadn't meant to harm Mackenzie, she just wanted to make her be quiet. She hadn't even stopped to think about what she was doing and then long term effects of her actions.

She took her gloves off and sat down in one of the chairs next to Olivia's bed. "Listen Olivia, I'm sorry for what I did. You're right, there was no excuse for it and I shouldn't try to justify it. I wish it hadn't happened, but it did and for that I'm truly sorry. I was to treating adults and then they scheduled me in the Pediatric ICU and gave me a sixteen-year old rape victim. I had no idea how to deal with an adult rape victim, never mind a kid. I had no idea what to do, I was way over my head."

'_Sounds like another excuse.' _Olivia thought. "No one can handle the kids the first time, but most people have the common sense not to surround a rape victim-no, any victim with the thing she's most afraid of. You wouldn't put a child who'd been bitten by a dog in a room full of dogs. You wouldn't put someone who is severely claustrophobic in an elevator. So why the hell did you have four men holding down a girl who had been raped by two men?-A girl who was afraid of men?"

Dr. Hanson stood up and crossed to the other side of the room. She shrugged and opened the door. "I don't know."

"You'll be lucky if I don't report you to the medical review board." The door closed and that was the last Olivia saw of Dr. Janet Hanson. Not that she minded, but she did want an answer to her question. Five minutes after Dr. Hanson left, another doctor came in.

"Hello Detective Benson, I'm Dr. Neal. I'm going to be your physician for the remainder of your stay here."

"And how long will that be?" Olivia asked.

Dr. Neal picked up Olivia's chart and flipped through it. "Well, your previous doctor thinks that because of the amount of blood you lost, we should keep you on a blood drip for another day or so. She also seems to think that you're at risk for infection and has recommended that we keep you here on IV antibiotics for at least forty-eight hours."

"No." Olivia began. "I need to be out sooner than that. I only have ten days left with my daughter and I'm not spending even one more of those days here."

Dr. Neal flipped the papers back and closed the chart. She didn't know what was going on with her patient, but she seemed determined not to stay here any longer. "You do understand that you'd be doing this against medical advice?"

"Yes."

She knew from experience that a determined cop was not someone to argue with. "Okay, I'll just write you a few prescriptions, get you a sling and a packet on GSR's and I'll be right back." She left without another word.

Dr. Hanson was in big trouble. If she wouldn't answer Olivia's question voluntarily, maybe criminal; charges would help.

"Hey Detective." Casey greeted from the doorway.

"Casey, hi. I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, you were looking a little spacey for a minute there." She sat down by Olivia's feet. "How are you feeling? And none of that 'I'm fine' tough cop routine. How are you really?"

Olivia shifted herself up. "I'm fine." Casey didn't look like she believed her. "Or I will be. You know, when Alex died I never even thought about the amount of pain she was in. I only focused on the fact that she was gone and I was all alone. But now that I've been shot and have the same type of gunshot would that killer her and in basically the same spot, except on the other side of my body, I'm starting to realize a little of what she went through."

Casey handed her a tissue and gave her a minute. "Wait, if you both had the same type of wound, then why did she die when you're going to be perfectly fine in a few months?"

Ever the quick-thinking detective, Olivia wiped her eyes as an excuse to give herself some time to think up a story. "She just lost too much blood. I tried to stop the bleeding, but I failed. By the time the ambulance came and she was brought to the hospital, it was too late. Her body was too weak before she was shot that she just didn't have it in her to fight."

Casey noticed her mistake right away. Olivia was too vulnerable right now and she never should have asked her anything about Alex. She knew first hand that pain meds are a bitch. One is not him/herself while on the heavy duty pain meds like the ones Olivia was put on.

Olivia composed herself and took a deep, calming breath and then it hit her. Casey was supposed to be with Mackenzie. If she was here, where was Mackenzie? "Where's Mackenzie? She left here to go find you."

"She did find me. She and Serena are just slow eaters…" She jumped before she could finish.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"It's my cell, it's on vibrate."

Olivia laughed. "I'll bet."

Casey playfully hit Olivia's knee and opened her phone. "It's Serena."

Olivia smiled and Casey hit her again. "Hey sweetie, what's up?...Yeah, sure…Okay, I'll tell her…You too…Bye." She shut her phone and looked at Olivia, whose smile never left her face. "What?"

"Nothing, I think it's cute."

Casey blushed. "She told me to tell you that Mackenzie was falling asleep, so she's taking her back to the apartment."

"The apartment?" Olivia questioned. "Are you two living together now?"

"Not…technically."

Olivia shook her head. "Gotta love technicalities. Alex and I were never 'technically' living together."

"Yeah, court is the only place where technicalities really matter…Well, I should go. Serena said that Elliot was on his was up, so I'll see if I can catch her before she leaves since you'll have someone here with you." She stood up and walked over to the door. "Get some rest."

"I'll try…And Casey."

Casey popped her head back in the room. "Yeah?"

"Treasure the time you have with her. You never know when someone's going to come along and cut forever short. Make sure she knows how you feel before its too late."

Casey nodded. "I will."

Olivia didn't even have two minutes to herself when there was a knock at the door. She loved how everyone was concerned, but truth be told, all she really wanted was some alone time. "Hey Liv, I brought you a coffee."

"Elliot, you are a God send." She took a long sip from the steaming cup. "You know, this kind of puts everything into perspective."

Elliot sat down. "What, the coffee?" Olivia shook her head, Elliot knew what she meant. "Getting shot can do that."

"It's not just getting shot, that is a big part of it, but it's this hospital too…I guess it's just making me think."

"About?"

She let out a long breath. "About life."

"What about it?"

"How much it sucks." Both she and Elliot laughed. "I'm thinking of taking Mackenzie out of the city for a few days, maybe for the rest of her time here."

"Where will you go?"

"The Cabot's have a few beach houses. One up in Maine, one in Massachusetts and one in the Hamptons. Elizabeth has no plans to use any of them anytime soon, so she said we could. Might be nice to get away and get some new perspective."

"I think just being here has done enough of that for you." He gave his partner a serious look. "What's really bothering you?"

Saved by the doctor. Just as Olivia was about to give him some bogus answer, Dr. Neal walked in with four scripts, a sling and a packet about the size of a law book.

"Am I going to have to read that?" Olivia asked.

"I'm supposed to recommend that you do…Just don't tell me if you don't."

Olivia nodded. "Fair enough. What's all that stuff?"

The doctor handed Olivia the scripts. "These are your prescriptions. Two are for antibiotics, one is for antibiotic ointment and the other if for pain meds."

Olivia looked at the scripts and whistled. "Pretty heavy stuff."

"Hey, my sister is a cop. Only the best for the girls in blue." She put the packet down. "Okay Detective, as soon as you get changed, I'll fit the sling and then I'll sign your release papers."

With Elliot's help, and a bag full of clothes Casey had brought over, Olivia was changed out of her hospital gown and into jeans and a t-shirt. "You know, she's lucky that the bullet missed my dress. I'm a cop, blood I can get out. But a bullet hole is pretty noticeable."

"Yeah, leave it to you to worry about a dress when you've got a whole in your shoulder."

**-2 Hours Later-**

True to her word, as soon as Olivia was changed, Dr. Neal helped her into a sling and then signed her release papers. She recommended that Olivia wear the sling for at least a month, but with Olivia's job, she settled for the detective wearing it as much as possible while her shoulder continued to bother her. While her wound continued to heal, the sling would allow her to rest her shoulder by not having to hold her arm up."

After getting her prescriptions filled, Elliot drove Olivia straight to her apartment and tucked her into bed.

"Now," Elliot handed Olivia two pills and a glass of water. "Take these now and then take these," He put five more pills down by the three pill bottles sitting next to her alarm clock on her night stand. "In five to six hours or if you wake-up later, take them as soon as you wake-up. You're going to have to change the dressing twice a day." He put the ointment, a stack of wrapped sterile gauze, a roll of medical tape and a small pair of scissors next to Olivia's growing collection of medical supplies. "You should avoid taking a shower and getting the wound wet for thirty-six hours and be sure to keep the sling on while you're up, which shouldn't be long. The doctor still wants you to rest for a while so that your body can repair and build up your blood count."

Olivia took the pills and then set her glass down. "El I was there. I was listening to the doctor too."

"Listening and hearing are two different things. I'm just making sure that you're planning on following her directions."

"Geeze, I'm not sure whose worse-you, Alex **or** Mackenzie."

Elliot laughed. "Well I've known you longer than both of them...combined."


	24. Fun in the Sun

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while, but my muse seems to think that she has the summer off. But I have a bunch of great ideas and I'm thinking of bringing Alex back even sooner than originally planned. But who knows, it all depends on the reviews.

**

* * *

**

Cabot Beach House - York Beach, Maine

Olivia had decided to take Mackenzie up to the Cabot's most northern beach house, the same house where she and Alex had spent their one-year anniversary. With the help of the FBI, Olivia was able to hire a driver and rent a trailer to drive her, Mackenzie and Mackenzie and Alex's horses all the way up to Maine. Because the house was up the street from a stable that boarded horses for beach rides, Olivia found no harm in bringing them up for Mackenzie to ride before the FBI took them away. She had even called her 'favorite' agent and change the date and place of the horses' pick-up to give Mackenzie a while longer to keep her muscles toned.

"Liv, are we going to be there anytime soon? I have a feeling Lexie is going to be ready to eat soon."

Olivia looked over at the sleeping puppy. "Is that your subtle way of asking if we're there yet?..Look out the window."

The car stopped in front of a beautiful slate grey two-story house with a beach in the backyard. It was a shame that the Cabot's didn't use the home more often, although it was almost never empty, at least during every season but winter. It was rented to family and friends throughout the year, as was the Cabot's house at Seabrook Beach in New Hampshire. The house in the Hamptons was the only one the Cabot's kept all to themselves.

The smell of the ocean hit them as soon as they exited the car. All the way up the brick walkway, that was all Mackenzie could focus on. "You know, I've never been to the ocean before, or a real beach for that matter."

Olivia inserted the key and pushed the door open. "Never?"

Mackenzie took Olivia's bags and put them with hers at the base of the stairs. "Nope. I lived at school and they had a lake and a small beach, but nothing like this. I've never even set foot in the ocean." She bound up the stairs. "This is gonna be so much fun."

As soon as they found their rooms and unpacked, Olivia led Mackenzie on an exploration of the house. The basement wasn't all too interesting. It had a laundry room and looked to be used mostly for storage. Olivia explained that the rest of the floor was a wine cellar and that was why it appeared to be so small. The wine cellar had a separate entrance all it's own. The attic wasn't that much better. It was also mostly storage. Mackenzie decided that she would go through the stuff later.

The second floor had two master bedrooms, each with their own lounge and bathroom and four other bedrooms sharing two bathrooms. Separating the two master bedrooms was a giant den or recreation room. A large plasma screen television was the focal point of the room, surrounded by a black leather couch, two matching loveseats and two matching recliners. Four shelves next to the TV contained hundreds of CDs, movies and DVDs. A stereo was placed in one of the back corners and in the other was a computer. Shelves built into the wall lined the back wall, filled with books, games, pictures and other knick-knacks. Under the windows were toy boxes filled with different toys for children of all ages. Through the door and onto the porch, one had a perfect view of the ocean. A table and chairs sat in the middle with lounge chairs and plants on wither side.

Down the arched staircase to the first floor, there were two directions that could be taken. Right lead you into the living room and left lead to the dinning room. The living room looked like a picture taken straight out of a country living magazine. The couch and two accompanying loveseats were made out of pale yellow fabric sparsely covered with multi-colored flowers. Other chairs with matching prints were clustered around a white bookcase that matched the coffee table and end tables. The whole room was pulled together by an elegant stone fireplace.

The dinning room was just as country. In the back was a white china cabinet and a matching buffet. The table top was made of white oak, as was the seats of the chairs around the table. The legs and backs of the chairs and the table legs were the same white as the furniture in the living room.

Off of the dinning and living rooms that connected the two, was the kitchen. A five-star kitchen by any definition, with all appliances of jet black, cabinets and counters of white oak and countertops of sapphire blue marble. Off of the kitchen was another bathroom and a large porch.

"Want to go down to the beach?" Olivia asked, Mackenzie nodded. "Then go get changed and meet me on the back porch in ten minutes."

**-15 Minutes Later-**

Out of her short sleeve '_Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy_' shirt, low-rise jeans and sneakers and into a blue halter-top bikini with lavender flowers, a pair of hipster denim shorts and flip-flops, Mackenzie hurried outside.

"Didn't I say ten minutes?" Olivia asked. "It didn't take me that long to change **and** get everything ready." In place of her '_New York_' T-shirt, hip-hugger jeans, leather jacket and matching boots, she now had on a pair of khaki shorts and a red tank-top. She had decided to forgo footwear entirely.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but I couldn't find my camera." She slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up the cooler next to Olivia. "So, where are we going?"

Olivia pointed straight ahead at the big beach umbrella under which lay two towels and a beach chair.

"Aren't you not supposed to be moving stuff?" Mackenzie questioned.

"I didn't. This stuff was already here."

"I'm sure it was." Mackenzie set the cooler down in between the two towels and sat down on the one covered with dolphins, opting to let Olivia have the beach chair since she wasn't planning on sitting much and since Olivia was injured. As soon as Olivia sat down, she handed Mackenzie a bottle of sun block."

"If you're anything like your mother, you're going to burn pretty quickly. The best way to kill a week at the beach is with a bad sunburn. Not to mention you'll regret it when you're older."

Mackenzie noted Olivia's quite darker complexion and figured that she was speaking from personal experience. Sun block applied, with Olivia's help with her back, she grabbed her camera out of her bag and reached for Olivia's hand.

"What?"

"Picture time." With a timer on the camera, they were able to take pictures of them together. They started off with a few taken under the umbrella. Just them doing random things, smiling to the camera, sticking their tongues out and other random stuff. Then they moved into the sun. They took pictures building sand castles and a really funny one of Mackenzie buried up to her neck in the sand. Mackenzie also somehow managed to pull Olivia over to the rocks where they took some more pictures. They also found some really cool looking shells to take back and a few snails and starfish, which they put back after they were done looking at them.

Once they, or Mackenzie rather, was done taking pictures, she took off her shorts and dove into the ocean to escape the near one hundred degree heat and Olivia returned to the coolness provided under the umbrella. With the camera now in her control, Olivia was able to take a few candids of her daughter's first time in the ocean.

**-4 Hours Later-**

As the day wound down, so did the activity on the beach. Mothers and fathers took their little ones in for the night, a few elderly couples left to go play bingo at the nearby casino and most of the other people had either grown tired of the cooler air the late afternoon brought, eighty degree weather can be hard to handle, or left to go the highly-advertised carnival downtown, which was only charging half price for tickets tonight.

Olivia and Mackenzie were two of only about twenty people still remaining on this section of the beach. They had had a typical day at the beach; swimming, tanning, building sandcastles, dinging seashells and even catching snails, crabs and starfish. They had only left the beach for about fifteen minutes when they went to get ice cream at the stand down the street.

_Click._

"Mackenzie, was the point of that?"

"There wasn't one."

_Click._

"Isn't the whole point of taking pictures to have the person in the picture looking at the camera?"

Mackenzie turned the camera off. "oh, this coming from the one who has been taking candids of me all day."

Olivia laughed. "You noticed that?" Mackenzie nodded. "Oh well, you'll live."

Now it was Mackenzie's turn to laugh. "Isn't that nice."

"You think this camera can hold another picture?"

Mackenzie nodded. Yeah, it's digital and the memory card is brand new. I have another card back at the house too. So as long as you didn't take a hundred of me while I wasn't looking, we should be all set."

**-2 Days Later Day-**

"Come on mom. I know you only have one arm, but that horse could go fine for someone who had no arms. Get her moving." Mackenzie yelled as she and her feisty mount cantered past Olivia and her slow moving mare.

'_Mom?' _Sometime two nights ago, after they had left the beach, Mackenzie had called Olivia 'mom' for the first time. Since then, she had been switching between calling her 'mom ' and 'Olivia.' Olivia wondered if it was being done subconsciously or purposely. But she felt that since Mackenzie had started calling her mom, they have become closer, so she dared not say anything.

By the time Olivia was pulled from her thoughts, Mackenzie was no longer within her sight. But before she even had a chance to worry, a gush of wind and a splash of icy salt water came from the corner of her left eye…followed by the pounding of hooves, not coming from her own horse.

"Hey, if that water gets in my shoulder, you are going to be in **so** much trouble."

Mackenzie slowed her horse and steered her back around toward Olivia. "Oh relax, its wrapped and you're wearing a leather jacket-which I don't even know how you can wear in this weather." It was above ninety degrees and Olivia was in jeans and leather jacket, although she did have a bathing suit on underneath, but that was besides the point. Since she wasn't as confident on a horse, she had decided to go with the saddle and so she needed pants, Mackenzie went bareback, so she was fine in her shorts. She shook her head. "But still, if you want to go running through the surf, that's fine, but do it away from me."

Mackenzie stuck her tongue out and ran right into the water, purposefully soaking Olivia.

**-Next Day-**

"Come on Lexie, come on girl." After closing the door after the dog, Mackenzie skipped over to the couch where Olivia was reading. "Mom?"

"Yeah?" Olivia responded, without looking up from her book.

"D…Do…Do you…" She sighed.

Olivia closed her book and sat up. "What's up honey?"

Mackenzie sighed again and sat down. "Do you have any pictures of mom?"

Olivia looked puzzled. "Of course I do. Why?"

"Well, because I've never seen a picture of her."

"Never?"

Mackenzie shook her head.

"Your grandmother never showed you a picture of her?"

Mackenzie once again shook her head.

Olivia found it hard to believe that Sophia Cabot had not shown her granddaughter a picture of her mother. But she found it even harder to believe that Mackenzie had never come across a picture as when Alex was 'alive,' Mrs. Cabot's house was covered with pictures of her daughters, proudly displayed like treasured Olympic golds.

"What happened to all the pictures your grandmother had. I wasn't really looking at the walls the last few times I was there, but the last time I remember seeing them was after Alex's funeral."

"I don't know, I never saw them. I haven't seen any pictures at the house. I mean, there are pictures, just not of actual people. They're more for decoration."

"Hmmm…Lets see what we can find up in the attic."

Boxes upon boxes upon boxes of photographs is what they found in the attic. It looked as if they were going to have a full day's work ahead of them sorting through all the albums and stray pictures.

As Mackenzie went downstairs to let the dog in and make some lemonade to ease the heat of the stuffy attic, Olivia began clearing space on the couch, coffee table and the space surrounding them.

There were eighteen boxes total. Three of Mr. and Mrs. Cabot from childhood up until they started photographing their own children's' childhoods, five of Cate, five of Alex and four of the whole family. Among all the boxes full of pictures, Olivia had even found one brimming over with home videos.

Upon moving an old trunk, Olivia came across another box. "Great."

"What's great?" Mackenzie asked as she walked in carrying a tray that held a pitcher of pink lemonade and two tall glasses. "Damn, where did all these boxes come from?" She set the tray down on the center of the coffee table.

"Well, lets see," Olivia set a large box down on the couch. "some are from under things, some were piled on the window seat, a few were hidden in trunks and the rest were just…lying around."

"Well, that uh…that sounds like loads of fun."

Olivia opened the first box. "Yeah." She replied distractedly.

"Um, I was just kidding. Note the sarcasm."

Olivia did not respond.

"What's the mater?" Mackenzie asked concerned.

"No…nothing." Olivia shook herself out of her fog. "It's just…these are the pictures that were hanging on the walls at Sophia-well, your house."

Mackenzie shrugged. "Grandma must have taken them down and stored them here."

Olivia sighed. "She must have." That was what it looked like, and without Mrs. Cabot around to explain, that theory would have to do.

**-5 Hours Later-**

Five hours, ninety-seven photo albums and four videos later, Mackenzie was sitting curled up on the couch with a mug that read ' _Assistant District Attorney of Coffee Central. Because not all lawyers prefer Scotch_,' full of hot chocolate watching the video of her first birthday.

Young Mackenzie, a bright and alert twelve-month old, was sitting atop a young pure white horse that had been given to her as a birthday gift from her grandparents. Mackenzie could only guess that it was her grandfather whom was struggling to lead the stubborn yearling around, sending the curly-haired toddler into fits of hysterics. Sitting behind Mackenzie on the horse was sixteen-year old Alexandra Cabot, laughing at the sounds coming from her small daughter.

A few more minutes into the tape, Mackenzie and Alex were both changed into matching lavender mother-daughter dresses. Alex's was a spaghetti-strap dress shaped with smooth princess seams and Mackenzie's was sleeveless with a twirly circle skirt and lettuce-edge ruffle hem. Everyone at the party, nearly all three hundred people, were surrounding them at a birthday cake fit for a princess, that in fact, followed the baby princess theme of the party with its castle, unicorns and little princess statues surrounded by white frosting and decorated with red and pink flowers.

Unnoticed by Mackenzie, Olivia had re-entered and stood undetected at the doorway. She stood there for a minute, mesmerized by how much of a difference only fifteen years could make. She tore her eyes away from the TV screen only when she heard Mackenzie start to cry. It was then that she moved over to the couch and sat down next to Mackenzie.

"She really loved me." Mackenzie cried. "She really loved me."

Olivia gathered her daughter in her arms. "Of course she did sweetie, of course she did."

Mackenzie cried. "But all the stuff…E…Emily…t…told me while we were in the…b…bathroom. She said-"

Olivia cut her off and turned so that she was facing Mackenzie. "Now listen to me. Nothing Emily Johnson told you about your mother is anywhere near factual. I don't know what she said and I don't care, nothing she could have told you about Alexandra Cabot could ever be true. Nothing. Its all lies…Do you understand me?"

Mackenzie continued to cry as she nodded and was once again gathered in her mother's strong, comforting arms. It only took a few minutes until she cried herself to sleep. Olivia took one last look at the television. "Yep, she really loved you...she still does. And that's no lie."


	25. Breakups, Death and Heartache

Okay, this is the longest chapter so far, so don't expect another one for a while.

And to answer the never ending question, yes, Alex is comming back soon...very soon.

Thanks so much to all my many loyal reviewers. You guys are so great and I love your reviews. Thanks a bunch.

* * *

As their time together was winding down, so was the morale of the two females.

Currently, Mackenzie and Olivia were on their way back from the stable where they had just helped the Feds load up the two horses into a transport trailer. Olivia knew that it was affecting Mackenzie more than she let on because with the horses already on their way to their new home, Mackenzie was next.

"Hey, what do you say to going down to the beach today? The weather's pretty much cleared up and the forecast said its supposed to be in the upper nineties today."

"Nah." Mackenzie shook her head. "I don't really feel like going down there right now." She looked up at Olivia. "Maybe later?"

Olivia half-heartedly smiled. "Sure." A few more steps of silence and she took in a deep breath. You didn't need to be a detective to know that this was a touchy subject for the teen. "You know Mackenzie, I know you're anxious and nervous and worried about going into the program and meeting your mother, but we still have two full days and nights here. You should try to have some fun."

Mackenzie stopped dead in her tracks. "Try to have some fun?" She turned around so that she was facing Olivia. "Have some fun? That's easy enough for you to say. You haven't been given a prison sentence…" She began pacing. "You're not about to be shipped off to God only knows where and given a new name, history, home and family.

"You didn't have everything you _know_ and _believe_to be true suddenly turned upside down and then had these people you don't even know, these people you've never even seen before, come in and tell you that you're whole life is a _lie_…

"When we leave here, you get to go back to being Olivia Benson, Detective, Manhattan Special Victims Unit. You get to go back to your life, your home, your job and your friends. While I, on the other hand, am going to be God only knows who, God only knows where and for God only knows how long.

"So don't _tell me _to try and have some fun while I'm dealing with all this shit. Damn it, I thought I could trust you. When you're faced with all that I'm dealing with, _then _you can come talk to me. Until then, **_just leave me the hell alone_**!" With that, Mackenzie took off and started running.

"_Mackenzie_!" Olivia yelled after her. She contemplated following Mackenzie back to the house, but she of all people knew what it was like to be overwhelmed, confused and in need of some alone time. So instead, she sat down on a nearby boulder and pulled out her cell phone.

She sat there for a minute going through her list of contacts. She didn't know who to call. She needed to have an adult conversation with someone and hopefully get some help on how to deal with Mackenzie.

Logically, she first thought of Elliot. He had one grown daughter and two teen girls at home, so he should be able to help. But then she thought about Kathy. During a conversation they had when Kathy had first left Elliot, she had made it perfectly clear that the lack of time she and her husband spent together because of the amount of time he spent with Olivia had given her the final push in her decision to leave Elliot. Even though Elliot never knew of the conversation, he and Kathy were having luck giving their marriage a second chance and Olivia didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

'Maybe I can call and invite the whole family up here?' She thought. _'No, that would probably only make things worse.' _She let out a frustrated breath.

She thought. She let out a frustrated breath.

'Abbie?' She is planning on being in New York for a while. But that probably wasn't a good idea seeing as her baby was due any day now. _'I should probably pick something up for him too.'_

She is planning on being in New York for a while. But that probably wasn't a good idea seeing as her baby was due any day now. 

She continued through her list of phone numbers. She could call Serena…or Casey. She thought for a minute. She and Serena had known each other for a while and are pretty close. She usually tells Olivia what was going on her life and since she hadn't told her about doing anything, she figured she would be a good person to call. She didn't have any kids and she was an only child, but she was a teenager at one point and she would certainly be able to help Olivia have an adult conversation.

'Maybe Casey would be a better choice.' Having three older brothers and two younger sisters, she had to know a thing or two about teenagers. But she has known Serena longer, so she went for the person she was more comfortable with.

It only took one ring before she picked up. "Oh my God Olivia."

Her voice shakey and labored, like she was crying. That immediately alarmed the detective. Serena was usually so calm and collected, no matter what the circumstances. Since Olivia has known her, she's only cried in front of her a handful of times. "Serena, are you okay? What happened?"

"S…She…I had to break up with her?"

"Who? Casey?"

"Yes."

Olivia was a bit taken back. The last time she talked with either of them, things were fine. Oh, how much one can miss in only a week. "Why? I thought you two were fine."

Serena blew her nose. "We were, its just…its just…" She sighed. "I can't go out with a closet case again. I can't. I won't."

Ah, now Olivia got it. Since Serena had started her new job at the Youth Help Center as a children's' rights attorney, she was out to the world. While she was working at the DA's office, he goals had been different. Like every other ADA before her and probably every other after her, Serena had her sights on the DA's chair. And since the citizens of New York would most likely never elect an openly gay DA, she had stayed in the closet while at work. Most of the other ADAs suspected she was gay, but they never said anything. Only a few really knew.

Now, she realized that there were more important things in life than trying to be someone she's not. During her time at the DA's office, she had only had one relationship. It was mostly out of fear of being discovered that she had stopped seeing the woman. But with her new job, everyone was supportive and she felt that a huge weight had been lifted by letting all her co-workers know.

So, when she saw Casey at the bar one night, they started talking. And from that, they had formed a relationship. Serena knew exactly what it was like to want to stay closeted at work, and Casey wanted to do just that. She would rather her bosses not know that fact about her personal life. Serena understood that all too well, but since working at the YHC, she had dated one woman, before Casey, who was in the closet and she had fallen pretty hard for her. It crushed her when she had to break-up with her, but it had to be done. Just as it had to with Casey. She couldn't take all the secrecy and lying anymore. She had done that for four years and she couldn't do it any longer. Even though it broke her heart, she had to break-up with Casey.

"Oh sweetie." Olivia soothed. "Why don't you come up and join us for our last couple of days."

Serena sighed. "No, I don't want to disturb the rest of your vacation. You two should really be spending this time together."

Olivia laughed. "Oh, you wouldn't be disturbing anything, trust me. Mackenzie is mad at me and you could really help me by coming up here so I'll have someone to talk too."

Serena contemplated it for a few seconds. "Okay…I guess it couldn't hurt to get out of the city for a few days."

"There you go. It'll make you feel better. And there's a karaoke contest downtown tomorrow night." Olivia hinted.

Serena laughed. "Maybe…Okay, well I'll head out now and hopefully I'll see you sometime tonight.'

"Then I guess I'll see you later."

"I guess so. Bye Liv."

"Bye."

Not wanting to play favorites, Olivia called Casey right after Serena hung up. "Hey Case, how are you holding up?"

Casey sighed. "You already heard huh?"

"Yeah. I just talked to Serena…How are you doing, seriously?"

"Seriuosly?..It hurts. Just because I don't want to go running through the streets yelling that I'm with a woman doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her. She's such a hypocrite. She did the same exact thing when she was still working her." She paused. "But the more I think about it, the more I realize that she's right. It's not fair to her. It's better that she be with someone who is as open as she is."

Olivia nodded. "When did it happen?"

"This morning. We were having breakfast at this coffee shop and she was just being too…well…out. I told her that I wasn't ready for that and she just lost it."

"She broke up with you right there?"

"Yep? Right in front of everyone. And not too quietly I might add."

'Ouch.' "Well, that's Serena for you. When she's hurt, she takes no prisoners. When someone hurts her, she'll get them right back. She's so guarded with her emotions that when she actually lets someone in and she feels that they betrayed her trust, she does the only thing she knows to prevent herself from getting further hurt. Its her defense mechanism"

"Yeah, that's what I figured. It just hurts you know. I think she's the first woman I've ever really liked. And I never wanted to hurt her."

Olivia waited a minute. "I know. It will get better, just give it time."

"I know."

"Casey, I know this isn't the best time, but…"

"You want to know how the trial is going."

"Yeah."

Casey sighed. "For the most part, its going pretty well. There have been a few bumps, but the defense is certainly having a worse time. Both cases have been rested and closing arguments are scheduled for next Thursday morning."

"Good, good. We're planning on being back home by Saturday afternoon, so we'll definitely be there for them."

"Good. It will help to have some familiar faces around."

"Well we'll be there…Look Casey, I'd love to talk, but Mackenzie is pretty upset with me and I should go talk to her."

"A word of advice detective, give her some space. She'll come to you when she's ready to talk."

Olivia nodded. "I'll try, but if she doesn't talk to me by the time we get back, its your fault."

Casey laughed. "Okay, I'll take the blame. But I guarantee that she'll be ready to talk by days end. See you in a few days detective."

"Bye Casey."

Seeing no one else to call, Olivia closed her cell phone and began walking back to the house. She opted to take the long way, stopping by a few little shops along the way, hoping that it would give Mackenzie some time to calm down and her some time to think of what to say to her once she did.

It was over an hour later when Olivia found herself within eyesight of the beach house. The sight of a strange car alerted the detective. She went over to the back of the unmarked grey van parked across from the house and knocked three times, waited a second, and then knocked again twice. After a little rustling from inside the van, one of the doors opened.

"Hey, who does that car in the driveway belong to?"

The older man peeled his eyes away from the video monitors and picked up a clipboard. "Olivia Benson."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "The other car."

"Oh well, why didn't you just say so?" He picked up the clipboard again and flipped to the last page. Okay - 2005 Sandstone metallic Chevy Trailblazer, license plate AGFF 6503 leased to an Abbie Carmichael. She was on your approved list, so I let her in the house. She says she's here to discuss a personal matter."

Olivia nodded. "How long ago did she get here?"

He checked the clipboard again. "Arrived at 1:02pm."

Olivia looked at her watch. "Almost an hour ago. Thanks Frank." She closed the door and jogged across the street. Mackenzie was just coming down the stairs when she entered the house. "Where's Abbie?"

"She's upstairs sleeping. She'd already been here ten-fifteen minutes by the time I got back. She wanted to wait for you, but she could barley keep her eyes open. I was finally able to convince her to lie down in one of the guest bedrooms…She was out in two minutes." Mackenzie sat down on the last step. "God Olivia, she's gotten so thin."

Olivia sighed. _'So I guess I'm back to being Olivia now. I must've really pissed her off.' _She moved closer to Mackenzie. "Well, she was pretty thin before she got pregnant, so I wouldn't worry about it."

Mackenzie shook her head. "No, she's reallythin. Thinner than me…and I didn't have a baby nine days ago."

"That's just Abbie. She always freaks when she finds an inch of fat on her body."

"Its more than that."

"Well, maybe she's just stressing about the baby. Taking care of a newborn twenty-four/seven is hard work. Does she have the baby with her?"

"No." Mackenzie answered sadly.

"Oh, did she leave him with his father."

Mackenzie again answered in the negative.

Olivia was getting frustrated. True, she had never had a child, let along nine days ago, but she didn't think that if she had, she'd be too willing to spend any more than a few minutes away from said child. She's heard that during the first few months, new parents can't get enough of their new child. "Did she leave him with her family, friends?"

Mackenzie shook her head.

"Do you know where he is?"

Mackenzie looked up with tears in her eyes. "Sacred Cross."

Olivia only knew of two Sacred Cross'. One was a hospital and the other… "No." She sat down next to Mackenzie on the step.

Mackenzie nodded. "She went in a week and a half ago. Just for a routine pre-delivery check-up. To approximate the baby's height, weight and to check his head position.." She wiped a tear away. "..and heartbeat. Everything was fine up until then. The doctor approximated the baby would be about twenty inches and weigh between seven and eight pounds…Then she checked his heartbeat…and there was nothing. She tried a few times, hoping that it was his position or something, but is wasn't." She looked up at her mother with a tearstained face. "He was stillborn."

-Several Hours Later-

Olivia was there when Abbie woke several hours later. Mackenzie was right, Abbie had gotten tremendously thinner. She had lost all of the weight she had gained during her pregnancy, and then some. And, on top of that, she looked terrible. Dark circles underlined her puffy, bloodshot eyes. Olivia could only imagine hours upon hours of crying and not sleeping had been the cause. She would yell at her for not taking better care of herself later, but for now, she needed to be supportive. "Why didn't you call?"

Abbie sat up. "I didn't know the number."

Rule #1: Never lie to a detective. Especially one you've known for quite some time. "Bull. You have my cell number."

Abbie looked down and started fidgeting with her hands. "I didn't know what to say."

That was understandable. "Was there a funeral?"

Abbie shook her head. "No. It's hard to say things about a person you've never met." As soon as the last word was out of her mouth, she broke down and the floodgates opened. "And since he was never alive…" She couldn't even finish the sentence.

Olivia just sat there and held her. She held her and tried to push the whole world out. Throughout the course of the evening, she's held Abbie close, tried calming her with gentle, soothing words, cried with her and was just there for her. The crying finally subsided when Abbie had cried herself to sleep. Olivia laid her back down and tucked her in. Once she was sure that Abbie would be alright, she closed the door behind her and went into her bathroom to take some deep breaths and wash her face.

She didn't get it. Why was it always the innocent children that had to die - well, Abbie's baby had never technically been born, but still. In her job, she encountered all sorts of scum that didn't deserve to take another breath. So why was it that this baby, this innocent child, was not even allowed to take his first?..Some things just don't make sense.

After she was confident that she was back in control, she headed down the hall in search of Mackenzie. She had an apology to make.

She had no idea what would have happened if Mackenzie was stillborn. Alex would be undoubtedly different. Who knows what would have happened to her. She may never have decided to become a lawyer. Mrs. Cabot had told Olivia that Alex became a lawyer to help rape victims like herself and to be a part of a team that rescued kidnapped children like her daughter. She became a lawyer with the sole purpose of one day becoming SVU's ADA. If Mackenzie had been stillborn, it was quite possible that Alex and Olivia would never have met. She never would have laid eyes on the beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed attorney and immediately fell head-over-heals in love with her. She didn't even want to think of what life would have been like if she and Alex had never met.

And what if she and Mackenzie had never met? In the short time she had known the teen, she had experienced a kind of love that she had never thought she would ever experience. The love for a child. Her thoughts ran back to a day several years ago when she and Elliot were discussing a case.

__

"Sometimes I just look at kids, and I just think why? Why do it at all?"

Now she understood why. Because there was no measure to the joy they brought. Because they didn't have a care in the world. Because they trusted you so implicitly that you just can't help but fall in love with them.

Which brought her back to her current problem. She couldn't have Mackenzie stay mad at her any longer. She needed to get this girl's trust back and assure her that she was worthy of that trust. A few steps down the hall and she heard the soft hum of Rachel Yamagata emitting from Mackenzie's bedroom.

She followed the soft music into the room. Mackenzie was sleeping, or so she seemed to be. One look at the stereo proved that she was quite the actress. "Mackenzie Paige, I know you are not sleeping." Mackenzie didn't budge. "Come on Mac. The CD is only on the first track and I know for a fact that you don't fall asleep until the fourth or fifth…So try again."

A sigh came from under the sheets. :Why do you have to be a cop?"

Olivia pulled over the chair adjacent to Mackenzie's bed and sat down. "Because I'm so good at it."

"Yeah, I found that out the hard way." Mackenzie turned over and sat up facing Olivia. After a long silence, she spoke. "Look Liv…I'm sorry. O totally blew up on you earlier and I had absolutely no right or reason to. You have only been trying to help me since the moment we met. You're the only one who has ever given a damn about me and then I go and take my frustrations out on you." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry." She took in a deep breath. "There's just a lot of stuff going an and…I guess I'm just a bit overwhelmed."

Olivia was impressed. She wasn't so sure that is she was in Mackenzie's shoes that she's be willing to forgive this easily. She got up and joined Mackenzie on her bed. "It's okay sweetie, it was partly my own fault. I haven't even stopped to think of all you're been going through. I don't exactly ace the sensitivity course that Cragen makes the squad take every year." This elicited a laugh from the young teen. "But I am here for you. If you ever feel that you need to talk about anything, I'll always be here for you."

Mackenzie nodded. "Thanks, that means a lot."

"Well you mean a lot. I just want to make sure that you know that you can trust me with anything. You can always come to me, no matter what's going on…Always."

"I know…You know, growing-up there was never anyone I could really talk to. Well, I mean, I had a few close friends that I trusted enough to tell stuff to, but no one I could really confide in…You know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do…I'll always be here for you Mackenzie, never doubt that."

"I won't…Are you feeling ok? It isn't like you to act like this?"

"Like what?"

Mackenzie was at a loss for words. "Well, all…sentimental."

Olivia laughed. "Yeah sweetie, I'm fine. I'm just going to miss you." She paused. "So…is there anything you would like to talk about?"

"Geeze, you cut right to the chase don't you?" Olivia shrugged. "Well, there actually is something that I was meaning to ask you."

Olivia urged her on. "Go ahead."

"Does it bother you…I mean, do you…"

"Mac, just ask me."

Mackenzie shifted. "You don't mind if I call you 'mom' do you? I mean, I just kinda started calling you 'mom' without even asking."

"Its fine…I kinda like being 'mom.'"

Mackenzie smiled. "Good."

Silence once again consumed them until Olivia remembered Serena. She got up and put the chair back. "Well, I am going to go downstairs and you are going to go back to sleep."

"Wait, I have one more question."

"What?"

"Why did Casey and Serena break-up?"

"How did you even know that they broke-up?"

"Serena called when you were in with Abbie to say that she and I asked her how Casey was and she said they'd broken up."

Olivia avoided the question. "Why did she call?"

"Oh, she said that she couldn't make it up tonight, but would probably be here early tomorrow morning. Are you purposefully not answering my question?"

Olivia kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Yes. Now go to sleep."

-Next Day-

Olivia had already been up for an hour and had two cups of coffee when Abbie came down the stairs. The creek of the third to last step pulled her mind back to the present. "Hey Abbie." She checked her watch. It was only 6:37. "What are you doing up? I didn't wake you did I?"

"No, the coffee did." Olivia smiled and poured her a cup. "Thanks." She took a long, slow sip. "Ah…you have no idea how good this tastes."

Olivia looked at the label on the coffee can. "It's just regular coffee, there's nothing special about it." True, she had French vanilla, but Abbie had the regular stuff.

Abbie took another sip. "There is when you haven't been able to drink it for nine months." She put the mug down. "Liv, I want to thank you for last night. I know I just showed up on your doorstep and you, and Mackenzie, have been nothing but supportive…I just had to get out of New York. There was no one there that I could take to and I knew you'd be willing to listen."

"What about Adam? He is the child's father." She paused. "Does he even know?"

Abbie sighed. "Yeah, he knows, and no, I can't talk to him about it."

"Why not."

"Because he and I are no longer together."

Olivia just about spit out her coffee. "Abbie, you've just suffered a tremendous loss. Don't you think right now may not be the best time to be making this drastic a decision?"

"No. I think right now is the perfect time. Liv, without the baby I can think about what I want and what's best for me. Before it was all about what was going to be best for the baby…He was the only reason Adam and I were together in the first place." Abbie could tell by the look on Olivia's face that she needed to her the whole story.

She sat down on the barstool across from where Olivia was standing. "His conception is not something I'm proud of…I had just broken up with this woman I'd been seeing…" Abbie's preference for women was not unknown to the detective. That was why it was hard to picture her and Adam together. "I was drunk…I never wanted this baby. He was the only reason Adam and I stayed together." She paused. "I know what I'm saying sounds terrible, but in a way, I'm glad he didn't make it. I'm just not ready for a baby…And it wouldn't have been fair for him to be living with two parents that didn't respect each other, much less love each other. We fought enough without a child, I can only imagine how bad it would have gotten with a baby around."

Olivia sighed. She couldn't tell if Abbie was in denial, shock or of that was really the way she felt. But the look on Abbie's face said that she was speaking truthfully. She hated that an innocent child didn't have the chance to be born, but she truly believed that it was what was best for everyone involved. "So…did her have a name?"

"Yeah." Abbie nodded. "Ryan Henry. Adam wanted another 'A' name, but I didn't. So I picked Ryan and Henry after my father."

Olivia nodded and took another sip. She didn't know what else to say.

After Abbie could no longer take the silence, she spoke up. "So, where's Mackenzie? Her bedroom door was open and she wasn't in there. What teenager actually gets up before seven a.m. while on vacation?"

Olivia laughed. "Well not mine, that's for sure. Lexie woke her up, so she took her for a walk."

"By herself?"

"Yes and no. We both have our own protective details as well as a round the clock surveillance team. She probably went with Carrie-Agent Martin. Kenzie trusts her the most."

"Ah." They finished drinking their coffee in silence. As Olivia was putting the mugs in the dishwasher, she suddenly remembered something. "Abbie, you know Serena Southerlyn pretty well don't you?"

"Yeah. We went to law school together. Not to mention she took over my job, so we met a few times to discuss a few cases. Why?"

"Well, you know how she and Casey were going out?" Abbie nodded. "Well, they broke up and I suggested that she come up here for a couple of days. I told her before you came, so I hope that's alright."

"Yeah, of course it is. Olivia, this is your place and you can invite anyone here you want." She stood up. "I should actually get going soon anyway."

"Abbie Carmichael, sit your ass down. You're not going anywhere. There are four guestrooms, we have plenty of room for the both of you."

Abbie was about to protest, insisting that she didn't want to intrude, but as soon as she opened her mouth a loud barking beat her to it.

Olivia looked out the window to see Serena's silver convertible pulling into the driveway. "Serena's here."

"Serena!" Mackenzie said, running into the arms of her attorney.

"Hey sweetie, how's it going?"

Mackenzie pulled away. "It's going."

Serena laughed. "That good huh." Not wanting to be ignored, the minute the two stopped talking, Lexie jumped up on Serena, looking for some attention. "Well hello to you two."

-An Hour or Two Later-

After Serena was settled in, all four had decided to go down to the beach. But on the way down, Serena and Mackenzie caught a sigh advertising tennis courts. Needless to say, only two made it down to the beach.

"You know," Serena began as she hit the tennis ball over the net. "I hear they're having a karaoke contest downtown tonight."

Mackenzie hit the ball back. "Yeah, mom might have mentioned that once or twice."

"You sing." She ran to hit the ball and missed it by a mere centimeter.

"Yeah. I took a few classes over the years." That was an understatement.

Serena served the ball again. "You know who else sings?"

Mackenzie ran after the ball. "No." She missed the it and let it travel all the way to the back of the court. She took the opportunity to catch her breath. "Who?"


	26. Breathless

Okay, all your reading has finally paid off. Here is what you've all been waiting for...**The return of ALEX!**

I know I always thank everyone for reviewing, but I wanna do it again. Thank-you guys and gals so much for sticking up with me and this story, which doesn't even include Alex for the first 25 chapters. But all your loyal reviews have paid off, because now she's back.

Lets see if we can get the review count up to 200.

A/N: I don't own the song 'Breathless,' now do I claim to. It is by The Corrs. And the words in the ( ) are for whoever I have singing back-up at the time.

Thanks guys, much love...SVU Chicky

**

* * *

**

**Melody's Karaoke Club**

Not that they had expected any better, but out of the thirty or so people that had already tried their luck at the karaoke machine, not one got a round of applause. In fact, Olivia and Abbie sat with their hands over their ears half of the time. Since Serena and Mackenzie were singing, they got to go back to the dressing rooms where they could practice and they didn't have to hear a thing. "Lucky bastards." Olivia muttered under her breath.

Finally the music stopped and the contestant walked off the stage. "Oh thank God." Abbie said. Then the owner of the club appeared on stage again.

"Okay, thank-you, thank-you." She waited for the noise to die down. "Okay, we're going to take a little break from all this 'singing' so we can set up for some of the next singers. Coming up after the break, we have our couples competition followed by the family competition. And after the judges tally up their votes, we will have the final competition between the winners of each of the five rounds and see who wins over all."

Once she was off the stage, Abbie turned to Olivia. "Liv, why don't you sing with Mackenzie?"

Olivia choked on her beer. "Because I can't sing a not to save my life."

"And these people can?"

She had a point, but Olivia shook her head. "No, Mackenzie really wants to win this, and I would only hold her back. I guess she inherited the competitive Cabot nature. And besides, Serena has a really good voice. I think they have a shot at winning."

"Well, with the people who have been singing so far, I don't see how they can loose. But why did they enter in in the family competition? They're not related."

"The family competition was the only one that would allow them to sing together, and neither was willing to sing alone. And is anyone asks, Serena is Mackenzie's 'aunt.'"

**-Half an Hour Later-**

Unlike the previous two competitions, most of the couples actually sounded pretty good. As more couples stepped on stage, Olivia's faith in Mackenzie and Serena dwindled. She knew Serena was good, but she hadn't heard her sing in her real voice, only her fake real voice, if that made any sense. But she had never heard Mackenzie sing. She hoped she was good. But with thirteen years of singing lessons, she didn't know how she couldn't be.

"Okay, next up we have Serena Southerlyn and her niece Mackenzie singing 'Breathless' by The Corrs."

Abbie and Olivia weren't the only ones cheering as Serena and Mackenzie appeared on stage and got ready. Mackenzie appeared to be a bit nervous, but Serena whispered something to her and that put a big smile on her face. She stepped up to the main microphone and handed Serena the other.

"Um, I'd like to dedicate this song to my mom and the special person in her life. Without the two of you, I wouldn't be here." The music started and the lights dimmed over the whole room, except for the stage. Mackenzie's voice came out strong over the microphone, with Serena singing back-up.

"Go on go on  
Leave me breathless  
Come on….

Hey... yeah...

The daylight's fading slowly  
The time with you is standing still  
I'm waiting for you only  
The slightest touch and I feel weak  
I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide  
And I'm losing the will to try  
Can't hide it (can't hide it), can't fight it (can't fight it)

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling (loving feeling)  
Make me long for your kiss  
Go on (go on), go on (go on)  
Yeah...  
Come on  
Yeah...

And if there's no tomorrow  
And all we have is here and now  
I'm happy just to have you  
You're all the love I need somehow  
It's like a dream  
Although I'm not asleep  
And I never want to wake up  
Don't lose it (don't lose it), don't leave it (don't leave it)

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling (loving feeling)  
Make me long for your kiss  
Go on (go on), go on (go on)  
Yeah...  
Come on"

They paused and danced around for a few moments during the guitar solo. Then the stage lights went off. At first, people thought the power had gone off, but the karaoke machine was still working, so they went with it. Olivia on the other hand, knew something was up.

The lights finally came back up and there was a third person on the stage. Mackenzie and Serena were now both further back and the new person was in the front. This person had her back to the stage, but Olivia immediately knew who she was. It may have been almost two years, but there was no mistaking the way that woman moved. She turned around and picked up the song where Mackenzie left off.

"And I can't lie  
From you I cannot hide  
And I've lost my will to try  
Can't hide it (can't hide it), can't fight it, (can't fight it)

So go on, (go on) go on, (go on), come on, leave me breathless  
Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny  
This loving feeling (loving feeling) Make me long for your kiss

Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless  
Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless  
Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless  
Go on... go on!"

The music ended and all three received a standing ovation. Everyone in the club was standing and screaming at the top of their lungs, all except for one shell-shocked detective. She was just staring at the stage. She had waited so long for this, and now that it actually happened, she didn't know what to do. She felt like it was all a dream.

The new lead singer made her way off the stage, leaving the rest of her group behind. The crowd parted as she made her way to the middle of the club, he eyes never leaving _her_ detective's. The closer this woman got to her table, the more Olivia realized that this wasn't a dream. The woman stopped at the next table over, as if waiting for permission to come closer.

Olivia stood up and held her arms out to the woman. Her arms were not empty long. As soon as the two were together, Mackenzie, Serena, Abbie and the whole room roared with applause and cheers. A bunch of 'You go girls.' and 'Awe's could be heard above the sounds of hands clapping and people cheering.

"Alex." Olivia cried. It felt so good to be addressing her one true love after so long apart. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't take it anymore." The younger woman cried back. "I had to see you. The few days we're going to have together because of the trial just aren't enough."

That was the last word spoken between the two for the next five minutes. They stayed in each other's arms until all the cheering and clapping died down and everyone took their seats again. They reluctantly let go of each other, but stared deeply into the others eyes. Just as if they were trying to see into their partner's soul.

Mackenzie couldn't take it any more. "Will you just _kiss her already_!" Neither knew to whom she was addressing, but it didn't matter. With more helpful encouragement from the crowd, Olivia pulled Alex in for the best earth-shattering kiss either of them had ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Alex's lips were softer than Olivia remembered and Olivia's a little tougher. But that did nothing to stop Alex, in fact, that only pushed her further to the edge of that cliff she was getting closer and closer to going over.

Once it was impossible to ignore the roaring of the crowd, the two pulled apart, much to the dismay of all the now quite happy men in the club. Not wanting to end what they had just started, the two quickly slipped out of the club.


	27. Right Where I Belong

Hey guys, thanks for your patience, I know it has been a while since my last update, but life has been crazy. I am aware that many of you don't like my short chapters, but come on, I can't write a novel for every chapter.

Thanks so much for helping me get over 200 reviews! You guys are the greatest. Keep the reviews comming and I will keep the chapters coming, but it may be a while between updates now since school has started again, but I will try my hardest.

I think this is quite possibly the sweetest chapter I will ever write, so I hope you all like it.

Enjoy

-SVU Chicky-

* * *

Once outside the club, the two women could hardly keep their hand off each other. All of those minutes and hours and days and weeks and months of no contact had taken their toll. Although feeling a sense of urgency, neither woman was rushed. Each took their time re-exploring the other's body. Well, as much exploring that can be done in public. 

Every kiss was filled with what could not be expressed through words. Every touch filled with a wanting and every caress left them wanting more. After a few minutes, Alex just broke down. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh my God Olivia, I am so sorry about all of this. About Mackenzie, about me leaving, about all the lying." As she cried, Olivia wrapped her arms around the slender blonde and held her. She didn't dare interrupt what she was saying. She knew this was something that Alex needed to do and she didn't want to face the wrath of Alex Cabot. True, she hadn't been Alex for over a year, but she was still in there. "That night…the night at the hospital when they…when they told you that I was…dead, I heard you…out in the waiting room."

_The doctor came out of the operating room and took off her tie-on mask and gloves. Her surgical gown and scrubs were completely covered in blood. The only thing that had not been engulfed by the crimson fluid was her surgeons cap. Olivia was the first on her feet and over to the doctor. Before she could even get a word in, the doctor was shaking her head._

"_I'm sorry. We did all we could."_

_And just like that Olivia's whole world ended. The protective walls she had built up around her heart caved in and crushed her. Only one person held the key, and that person was never going to be able to use it again. So she did the only thing she knew how. She started screaming and yelling and hitting. And when she had finally spend every last drop of emotion she had in her, she went home and drank herself into oblivion. Despite just having restocked her liquor collection a few nights ago, there was not a drop of alcohol left in the whole of her apartment. _

But that did get her what she wanted. She couldn't feel a thing. Which had earned her a week in a coma and a hospital room for the next thirty days where she had to undergo alcohol rehabilitation. Since that night, nothing had been the same.

"Olivia, it took every ounce of everything I had in me not to through those doors and into your arms…I…I…I" She took a moment to compose herself. "I wanted to so bad…but they were giving me all sorts of drugs to numb the pain in my shoulder and the agents were saying that everyone was better off, that I was better off…And…I just….I had…"

Olivia stopped her and held the fragile women closer. "Shh…sweetie its okay. I know that none of this was up to you. I know that you didn't want to. I know that you did the only thing you could do to save your life." She wiped an escaped tear away. "I guess in a way…I'm glad they took you away." Alex looked at her like she was crazy. "Because if they hadn't, there's no telling what would have happened to you. I mean damn it Alex, they tried to kill you…The only way I got through you being away was the fact that I knew that, wherever you were, you were safe."

Alex turned in her arms and looked looked into the chocolate eyes that she had been craving for months. "You were safe. And I because I knew that you were free from harm, I survived."

Alex nestled into the crook of Olivia's neck. "I did too."

**-Twenty Minutes Later-**

The two had been so caught up with catching up that they haven't even noticed the time fly bye. "…So there I was, just standing there dumbfounded and looking for an escape." The former ADA paused a moment as both she and Olivia could no longer contain their laughter. "And…and he was like-" She must have jumped about ten feet at the sound of the door creaking open. Olivia was on her feet in front of Alex and had her gun out in a matter of milliseconds.

"Whoa, easy detective. Didn't mean to startle you." Serena said above the noise from the music coming from within the club. "They're announcing the winners, and I just thought…" She trailed off as she heard Misty announce the winners.

"And in first place, for their fantastic job bring back The Corrs, we have Serena, Alex and Mackenzie." A bunch of cheering was heard inside. "That's us." Serena grabbed Alex by the wrist and pulled her inside, a slightly confused detective following closely behind.

They entered the club to find Mackenzie already on the stage waving them over. Serena let go of Alex and jogged over to her 'niece.' Alex on the other hand, just stood there. Like a deer caught in the headlights, she was rooted to the spot, unable to collect her thoughts enough to put one foot in front of the other. She couldn't hear the quiet murmurs of the people talking amongst themselves of the quiet hum or music in the background. She couldn't smell the many different kinds of greasy foods in the room nor could she sense Olivia's presence behind her. It was different when she was on the stage, Mackenzie was out of her line of sight. But now, she had her first good look at the daughter that was taken from her all those years ago.

It was like she was in a tunnel. All that she could focus on was Mackenzie. Her first and only born, her daughter, her little baby girl-well, her sixteen-year old baby girl, but still her baby girl. She couldn't take her eyes off of her.

There was nothing even remotely similar about their hair or eye color, save for a few natural blonde highlights. But there was no denying the fact that the girl standing on the stage was Alex Cabot's daughter. They had the same body shape and structure and they even stood the same way and had the same sway in their hips when they walked. There was also no refuting that both had the same overly confident Cabot attitude.

The next thing Alex knew, she felt Olivia's hands on her back pushing her forward. She wasn't sure how it happened, but in a few short seconds, she was at the base of the stage stairs, her daughter calling her up. Seven steps later and she was on the stage. Just a mere two feet from Mackenzie. It was closer than they had been in over fourteen years.

So many different thoughts were running through the blonde's head. '_What if she doesn't want to get to know me? What if she hates me for not being there for her when she was younger? What if she blames me for her being kidnapped? How do I explain to her what happened that day?..What do I say if she asks about her father?' _But as soon as she looked up into Mackenzie's now watery hazel eyes, all of her doubts melted away. There would be a time and a place for all her doubts and all Mackenzie's questions, but that was neither here nor now.

Any and all lingering doubts were washed away the second Mackenzie ran into her mother's arms, which had been empty since 1991. Even through everything that mother and daughter had been through, they knew that instant that they were both right where they belonged.


	28. Not Another Dream

All right guys, sorry for the long wait, but I have virtually no time to write, never mind type this story up. But its here now, so I hope ya'll like it.

SVU Chicky

* * *

Once back at the house, the Cabot's' true colors shone brighter than the sun. Neither of them had let a second of silence pass for the three and a half hours since they were reunited. They were like a couple of thirteen-year olds at a slumber party. It was actually pretty funny to watch.

Olivia got up and pulled down another bottle of wine. It was amazing just how fast four women could drain a whole bottle. But that wasn't the reason she was in the kitchen. She felt out of place among the conversation in the living room. The minute they all walked through the threshold, Alex and Mackenzie made a beeline for the loveseat by the TV, and Serena and Abbie headed straight for the one in front of the fireplace. It seemed that the latter two had rekindled old law school feelings while out at the club. Abbie never could resist a girl who could sing…or throw a three hundred pound drug dealing son of a bitch in prison without batting an eye.

So, on one side of the room were the mother and daughter and on the other were the lovebirds, with no place left for Olivia. Which was why she had spent most of the evening in the confines of the kitchen? Deciding that it was probably best not to let any more alcohol circulate around the room, Olivia left the bottle and went outside to get some air. She wondered off the porch and down to her favorite spot on the beach.

It was only a matter of two minutes until Alex noticed the lack of her girlfriend's presence.

Mackenzie answered her mother's unvoiced question. "She's probably in the kitchen. She's been spending a lot of time in there tonight."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Haven't you noticed that your wine glass was never less than a quarter full?"

Alex looked at the wine glass sitting on the end table next to her. "No." She replied almost sorrowfully. This was why she wasn't a detective. She was none too observant.

Mackenzie nodded toward the door. "She went that way."

Alex stood up and stretched out her legs. She didn't think that they had been sitting there talking for long, but judging by the cramping in her lower extremities they had. A glance at the clock on the other side of the room confirmed her muscles suspicions. Ignoring the screaming coming from her legs, she made her way across the room and through the large oak swinging door and into the kitchen.

"Hey Liv, why have you been hiding . . ." She trailed off at seeing, or rather not seeing Olivia in the room. She checked the bathroom, but it too was empty.

Just as she was starting to get worried, Abbie came into the kitchen laughing. "Hey, where's Olivia? She was supposed to be getting a new bottle of wine out." Abbie figured that she had just forgotten or gotten side tracked with something else. Spotting the unopened bottle sitting on the counter, she went right over to it and attempted to open it, but the cork wouldn't budge. "Alex, do you guys have a corkscrew around here?" Receiving no response, she started opening drawers in search of the missing abject.

A few moments later and Abbie luck had not yet changed. "Come on Alex, are you going to help me out or what?" Alex slowly turned around, her tear-stained face being the last to come into Abbie's line of sight.

"Al what's wrong?" She was at her friend's side in only a few short strides.

Alex wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't find her."

"Oh sweetie . . . I'm sure she's around here somewhere/"

Alex wiped her tears away. "She's not. Mackenzie said she would be in here and she's not."

"As much as I like that kid, she doesn't know everything." Despite her efforts, Alex was not able to hold back a small laugh. "There ya go." Abbie went over to the back door and looked out. "Problem solved."

**Down at the Beach**

Sitting down by the water, her detective senses weren't on high right then. In actuality, she wasn't even sure if they were even operational. Given that it was almost pitch black out, save for the light emanating from the moon and stars and their reflections across the ocean, her senses should have been at their highest possible point. But they weren't, so it wasn't until Alex was practically on top of her that she heard the sand picking up with running footsteps behind her.

The detective turned around just in time to get a quick look at the woman running toward her before she jumped down into Olivia's arms and latched on.

"Alex! . . . Sweetie what's wrong?" She wasn't sure if it was detective mode or concerned lover mode, but something had just kicked in.

Alex shook her hear and wrapped her arms tighter around her lover's neck. Despite her best efforts, she could no longer hold anymore tears back.

Olivia heard the sobs and felt her girlfriend's body shaking and shuddering with every breath. She knew that there was nothing more she could do for her, but that didn't stop her from wanting to.

It wasn't until Alex was significantly calmer a few minutes later that Olivia dared speak again. "So . . ." She began, unconsciously rubbing a supportive hand up and down her partner's back. " . . you wanna tell me what this is all about or do I have to beat it out of you?"

Alex just sighed. "Not really."

"Do it anyway."

She reluctantly pulled away, but still remained on Olivia's lap. She seemed to have suddenly have found her own fingers very amusing and refused to look anywhere else. "I'd rather not."

Olivia lifted Alex's chin so that deep sapphire met dark mahogany. "What's wrong?"

The young attorney shook her head at her own silliness. "Liv its stupid, really."

"Not to me."

If at all possible, Alex fell even more in love with the older woman at that moment. This was Alex's favorite side of Olivia. Her unconditionally loving side. The side that, up until Mackenzie had come to be known, had only been shown to her. She shook her head. "Never mind."

Olivia gave her _that_ look and Alex just melted inside. She sighed and looked over her shoulder. "I couldn't find you." She focused all of her attention back on her hands that were now entwined with Olivia's and tried to think of what to say next. "Its just . . . I don't know. I went from seeing you practically every morning, noon and night to not at all and now . . ." She abandoned the contact of Olivia's hands for a second to wipe her eyes. But it was almost as if the lack of contact was painful, so she returned her hands a split-second later.

"I felt like I had lost you again. Like it never happened. Like I never came back, like I was still all alone in Wisconsin." She wrapped her arms back around Olivia's neck and drew her close. "I felt like it was all just another dream, and . . . and I can't handle another dream Liv, I just can't."

Olivia pulled Alex close. "I know baby, I know."

**-Later-**

With Abbie and Serena taking Mackenzie for the night, Olivia and Alex were left with the whole house to themselves. Curled up with a bottle of wine, a fire roaring in the fireplace and music softly playing in the background, neither could remember ever feeling more at peace.

Despite their lengthy separation, neither woman was in any hurry to _do _anything. Olivia's arm wrapped protectively around Alex's slender frame, Alex's head on Olivia's chest, listening to the strong beat coming from within, neither knew where to start. There was so much that needed to be said and so much that needed to be heard. But neither Olivia nor Alex wanted to be the one to break the moment, and neither knew where to begin.

It was as though simply talking about it made it seem all too real. It was as if their silence was preserving this fantasy. But deep down inside, they both knew that they were postponing the inevitable, whether they choose to admit it or not.

Olivia moved her left leg in an attempt to return its circulation, but only succeeded disturbing Alex. "Oh, sorry baby, I didn't realize that you had fallen asleep."

Alex scooted herself up in Olivia's arms. "No, its fine . . . I shouldn't have fallen asleep anyway. How long was I out for?"

Olivia started playing with Alex's hair. "About forty-five, fifty minutes."

"What! And you didn't wake me up?"

"What can I say?" Olivia shrugged. "You're cute when you sleep."

Alex sat up and swung one leg over Olivia's abdomen so that she was straddling her. "Suddenly," She seductively tucked a lock of her hair behind her right ear. "I'm not so tired anymore."

Olivia laughed as Alex leaned in. "It would seem not."


	29. Caught

Mackenzie hung up the phone with an exacerbated sigh. "Still no answer."

Serena looked at her watch and then turned to Abbie. "It's after noon."

Abbie sighed and checked her own watch. "How many times was that?"

"It was my fifth trying the house. I tried Liv's cell a few times too, but it kept going straight to voicemail."

"Maybe they're out?" Serena suggested.

Abbie gave her a look that said she highly doubted it. "Maybe they're _busy_." She whispered to Serena.

"Ah . . ."

"What?" Mackenzie asked.

Abbie cleared her throat. "Let's give them a little longer."

**-1 Hour Later-**

Mackenzie went around back to grab her swimsuit off the line, so Serena used the teen's key to let Abbie and herself into the house. "Olivia? Alex? Anybody home?"

**Upstairs**

"Did you hear something?" Olivia asked from her position over Alex.

Both were silent for a moment until Alex shook her head. "It was probably just the dog."

Olivia leaned back in. "Yeah, probably. She gets in just as much trouble as her namesake."

"Hey!" Alex swatted Olivia's bare behind. "I will have none of that."

"Ooh . . ." Olivia hissed. "I like 'em feisty."

"I . . . live . . . to . . . comply." Alex murmured in between kissed as Olivia's lips once again captured hers.

Just as Olivia was making her way down Alex's neck and nearing her chest, they both heard a voice.

Olivia looked at the door and then back at Alex. "Dogs talk now?"

"Alex? Olivia?"

"**_SHIT!_**" Olivia and Alex both cursed. "It's Serena."

"Since when do dogs sound like 32-year old laywers?" Olivia asked as she rolled off of Alex and frantically started looking for her clothes.

"Since now?" Alex replied. Olivia shot her a dirty look and threw her her bra.

A knock came from the door. "Hey, you guys in here?"

"Yeah, just a sec." Olivia called. Alex looked over at her with a panicked/apologetic look. Olivia's heart melted at the sight and she smiled. "Don't worry about it." She whispered.

A few more seconds of rummaging around the room and Olivia was now fully clothed. After quickly running a brush through her hair, she was presentable.

"I can't find my pants." Alex whispered.

Olivia snickered. "Better for me. Better access."

"No, I'm serious. I highly doubt _our _daughter would appreciate seeing me like this. You-definitely, Serena-maybe, but Mackenzie-_no_."

Detective Benson shone through in this moment of difficulty. She steered Alex through the lounge and toward the bathroom where she had just remembered taking the younger woman's pants off the night before. "Just take a shower and then come down in like ten minutes."

"What? Only ten minutes?"

"Shh . . ." Olivia silenced her girlfriend. "We need it to seem like you've been in there for a while."

"Oh."

They kissed and then Alex turned to go into the bathroom, but not before receiving a hard smack on her rear. "Ow . . ."

Olivia began to walk away. "That's for earlier."

As soon as Alex was in the shower and the running water could be heard, Olivia finally opened the door.

"What took you so long?"

"Well it's good to see you too Serena." Olivia paused to insert a fake yawn. "And I was sleeping if you don't mind."

"Where's Alex?"

This time the detective yawned for real. "She's in the shower."

Serena moved away so that Olivia could come out of the room. When she looked away for a split-second, Olivia grabbed a mint off the dresser and popped it into her mouth.

"So," Serena began as she and Olivia made their way down the hall. "what did you and Alex do last night?"

Olivia smirked. "Serena, you have got to stop being so blonde."


	30. Secrets

**Cabot Estate – 3 Days Later**

Once back in the city, it was literally a matter of mere hours before the whole of New York got word that the youngest of the prestigious Cabot daughters was '_back from the dead_,' had '_returned from space'_, or her favorite, '_made a deal with the Angel of Death_.' As the reporters had all so kindly put it. No matter which way the phrased it, they all pretty much meant the same thing, and every reporter in the city wanted to be the first to get the interview with the '_Phantom Prosecutor_.'

In order to stay away from the masses of cameras and reporters, Alex and Mackenzie were currently seeking refuge within the confines of the Cabot estate. The whole place has a fence around it, so no reporter had yet attempted to climb over it. Not that they would even get anywhere if they had. This estate had almost as many police guarding it as it has reporters trying to get it.

Mackenzie let go of the curtain and sauntered back over to the couch. "Can't you just make them go away."

Alex looked up from her large pile of papers and pictures and sighed. "I wish that I could sweetie, believe me, but they've got the first amendment protecting them."

"God bless America." Sarcasm was Mackenzie's second language. "How do they live with themselves? What, do they go home after work and their husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends or whoever they live with? Are they like, 'So honey, what did you do today?' 'Well dear, today I managed to stalk this woman and her daughter to the point where they couldn't even leave their house. Yep, a good day's work.'" Mackenzie sighed. "They all blow."

"Mackenzie." Alex warned.

"What? Would you rather I say they all suck? . . Fine, they all _suck_."

Alex closed the file and set her glasses down on the table. "Come here Kenzie."

Mackenzie initially had no desire to move, but after a few seconds of the former prosecutor staring her down, she reluctantly gave in.

**-1 Hour Later-**

"What about this one?"

"Eh, it's too . . . I dunno. It's just not . . . me."

Alex nodded. "That's the whole point."

Mackenzie shrugged. "I guess so."

The two went back to silence as they continued flipping through the real estate listings. Up until a few days ago, all the aspects of their new lives and identities had been all settled. But that was all changed by the Kyleea virus, created by wither one very genderly confuses male or one equally confused female.

The Kyleea virus was the most destructive virus the FBI had seen to date. Since their last update, this virus had been the only one to penetrate the thick walls of the FBI's top secret Witness Protection Program files. The minute the virus was detected, a team of federal computer technicians worked for seventeen straight hours trying to rid the system of this parasitic virus.

As the eighteenth hour rolled around, the number of ways to eliminate the virus faded. Finally, they had no other choice. This virus was eating up all the files and transmitting them to somewhere outside the continental US. So, at 22:00 Sunday night, every single one of the WPP files were destroyed.

The only remaining connection between the WPP and their witnesses were their caseworkers, but due to the threats against the witnesses, the only traces of them the caseworkers had was a name, a phone number and a date. The name was a combination of the witness's real last name and their WPP last name. The phone number was to an untraceable pre-paid throw away cell every witness is given upon entrance into the program, and the date is the date the witness began living as his or her new identity.

That was why the two were currently looking through a bunch of real-estate listings approved by the feds. Since the house they were supposed to move into had been compromised, the feds found no harm in letting Alex and Mackenzie fins their own home. The feds had enough work to do because of the destruction this virus caused and Alex and Mackenzie weren't scheduled to move for a few days anyway.

After a long time of just staring at the floor, Mackenzie glanced at her watch and then made a b-line for the front door.

"Mackenzie what's wrong?" Alex hollered after her fleeting daughter."

"Nothing, I just need some air."

Alex sat back down. "Right . . . air."

Mackenzie ran as fast as she could. Down the front steps, across the gravel, through the freshly cut grass and cultivated flower beds and around the corner of the house she managed to escape the eager camera lenses. Once in the backyard, it was around the pool and across the impeccably manicured lawn before she finally reached the comfort created by the confines of the forest.

**SVU Squadroom**

"Yeah . . . yeah . . . okay sweetie, I'll be right there. . . Yes I promise. I'm leaving now . . . Yes right now . . . Okay . . . Love you too." Olivia hung up her phone with an exacerbated sigh while Elliot, the ever subtle eavesdropper handed her her jacket.

"What's up?"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know. I guess Mac got all upset about something and ran out of the house and Alex let her go thinking she just needed to blow off some steam, she said something about being cooped up in the house all day, but that was almost five hours ago."

Elliot looked alarmed. "Want me to tell Cragen?"

"No." Olivia waved him off. "I know where she is."

**Cabot Estate**

One thing had to be said for being a cop. Going all lights and sirens drastically reduced the amount of time needed to navigate through mid-day city traffic and hordes or paparazzi. The papers would surely have a new and interesting theory to print tomorrow.

"Liv, I have no idea where she is. Like a typical teenager trying to get away from her mother, she's not answering her cell, she's not in the house and I had the police check the grounds." She slouched. "I lost her."

Olivia tried not to laugh as she leaned against the car next to Alex. "Sweetie, you didn't loose her. The thing with Mackenzie is . . . she's overly emotional, and when she doesn't know how to handle how she's feeling, she runs."

"Sounds like someone I know." Alex insinuated.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that . . . " She continued right along. "Mackenzie's been through something terrible, something we'll probably never even begin to fathom. Something she may never tell us the whole truth about. She's just a scared and confused kid whose mind has been on a total overload these past few months. I can't say that I wouldn't push people away if I had so much to wrap my mind around."

Alex rested her head on Olivia's shoulder. "You have."

Olivia smiled. "I'll pretend that I didn't hear that either."

Alex laughed. "You go right ahead."

Olivia looked to her right at all the flashing cameras. "You know, the paparazzi are going to have a field day with this."

A sinister smile grew on Alex's face. "Then lets give them something to really go to town with." In one swift motion, Alex turned and drew Olivia's lips to hers. The amount of flashes tripled.

**-45 Minutes Later-**

Mackenzie heard the footsteps long before their maker found her. Alex didn't say a word, but just sat next to her daughter and waited for her to make the first move.

Mackenzie picked up a pebble and walked the few feet to the water's edge. "How did you know where I was?"

"I used to come here when I was pregnant with you. It was my escape from all the gossip, my parents, the world . . . everything." Alex watched the pebble skip across the pond. "And Olivia told me you would probably be here."

Not another word was said for at_ least_ the next five minutes. Alex had so many questions to ask, so many things to say, so many lectures to give, but she knew that she had to earn Mackenzie's trust first.

With the last ripple gone from the pond, Mackenzie took up residence on tree stump across from the tree Alex was sitting under. "Why didn't she come to get me herself?"

Alex looked up. "Olivia? . . She thought that it would be better if came. We have some things we need to talk about . . . Like why you bolted earlier."

Another long silence followed.

"It's just . . . There's so much going on. I mean, up until a few months ago I was like every other girl at McKenna. We all had mothers who couldn't be bothered with us, so they stuck us all in boarding school. . . And I was okay with that, because I knew that most of the other girls were going through the same thing, but now . . ."

"Now . . ." Alex encouraged.

"Now I'm the only one. So much has happened and . . . changed me so much. And after it all, I finally start to trust someone, just in time for me to be taken away from her." She tried to hold back the tears. "How am I supposed to learn to trust people, if every time I do . . . either they leave or I do?"

Alex smiled. "Let me tell you a little secret about Olivia and our impending move."


	31. The Verdict's In pt1

**Supreme Court – People vs. Liam Connors**

Everyone was in the courtroom today. Alex, Olivia and Mackenzie, as well as Agent Hammond and some other federal agents, the whole SVU squad, SVU Bureau Chief Elizabeth Donnelly, DA Arthur Branch and a couple of other ADA and of course some family and close friends. Thankfully, the judge had ordered all of the reporters out of the courtroom, but they would still have to be faced at some point.

Today had to be one of the most, if not the most stressful day in the young attorney's life. Leaving everyone and everything you know and love and moving halfway across the country is one thing, but living in a constant state of fear because the man who shot and almost killed you was acquitted . . . that's an entirely different situation. At least while in Witness Protection, Alex knew that the authorities were trying to locate her attacker.

Alex didn't know how she would live with herself if this man was acquitted. Knowing that she tried her hardest with her testimony and this guy got off scot-free, she didn't know if she could handle it. She used to comfort victims in her situation all the time, and she would always say the same thing, "You tried." But sometimes trying just wasn't enough. Sometimes burning yourself out over a case didn't help. Sometimes guilty people walked out of the courthouse and never looked back. Sometimes.

Alex has put everything she had into her testimony, every ounce of her being. She had never in her life ever worked so hard to get a conviction.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

Alex grabbed Olivia's hand.

They jury foreperson stood up. "We have your honor."

Alex had to keep telling herself to breathe.

"The defendant will rise."

Liam Connors and his attorney slowly rose to their feet.

"On the count of attempted murder in the first degree of Alexandra Cabot, how does the jury find?"

Alex and Olivia held their breathe.

"We find the defendant guilty."

It was amazing how one word, just one little word, could completely change everything. Alex could breathe again. For the first time in nearly two years, she could breathe again. No more wondering if the man who shot her that cold October night was going to come back to finish the job. No more panicking every time she met someone new, wondering if that person could be the cause of all her sorrow and grief.

It was sometime before Alex came back to reality. By the time she did, the verdicts on the rest of the charges had been read and the defendant removed from the courtroom. She looked around the room at the remaining few people and that's when it all came crashing down.

"Oh my God." She turned to Olivia. "She did it. She actually did it."

"Yeah sweetie, she did it."

Alex got up and walked over to Casey, who was still at the prosecution table gathering up all of her files and getting praise from Elizabeth Donnelly and Arthur Brach. She hated to break-up their little party, but she was beyond all rational though at this point.

"That was a great win Casey." Donnelly was saying.

"Makes me think that you might be ready to move on to bigger things."

"Arthur, are you trying to steal my ADA?"

Branch shook his head. "Just something to think about."

Casey closed her briefcase. "Nobody's going to be stealing me, moving me to any other bureau nor putting me on any other cases. I'm an SVU ADA . . . I'm part of SVU. I tried to get out once. I'm not going to make the same mistake again."

Branch knew when to walk away, but Donnelly's radar was acting up now. "You tried to quit?" She asked in disbelief.

"It was my first case Liz, cut me some slack."

The bureau chief cut her losses and walked away. "It's nice to have you back Alex."

Alex nodded and Donnelly continued on her way. As soon as she was out of the court, the emotions started flowing and Alex leaned in and hugged the younger woman. "Thank-you so much Casey. Thank-you." She released the ADA and regained her courtroom decorum.

"You have no idea how much this means tome." Olivia came up behind Alex and wrapped her arms around her middle. Alex leaned into her partner. "How much this means to us." She corrected.

Casey smiled. Nothing made her happier than getting justice for a victim. "All in a days work."

"Don't cut yourself short Casey." Alex instructed. "This wasn't an SVU case. You could have easily passed it off to someone else. In fact, that would have made it a lot easier than adding this case to your already overflowing case load. It really means a lot."

"I was glad to do it. And, you were a part of SVU, so I felt that this case should stay in SVU. . . Besides, any less for my predecessor and I would not longer be a part of SVU."

"We're like a cult." Olivia chimed in.

All three laughed and shared a brief moment of happiness before the courtroom door opened and a short, balding man popped his head in. "Is one of you ADA Novak?"

Casey stepped out of the group. "That's me."

"The jury's back on the Alvarez case."

She looked surprised. "They're early."

"Is that a good thing?" Olivia asked.

She shrugged. "Could be."

All eyes turned to Mackenzie.


	32. The Verdict's In pt2

A little holiday treat for all you out there. Thanks for reading my story.

Only one more chapter after this.

**

* * *

**

**Supreme Court – People vs. Hector and Juan Alvarez**

Now it was Mackenzie's turn to be in the hot seat. This was the first time she'd been this close to the two men responsible for everything wrong with her life since her testimony. Since them, she had been steadily improving. She no longer had to sleep with her bedroom lights on and door wide open. She no longer flinched whenever a man came near, She no longer freaked at the sight of a needle. She still didn't like going into small, enclosed spaces, but neither did half of the country.

In everyone's opinion, she was doing great. Everyone's but her own. As is typical of kids trying to get their parents to notice them, Mackenzie had unreasonably high expectations of herself. Now, sometimes she met and even exceeded these expectations. Other times, she did not. This was one of those times.

"All rise." The bailiff instructed as Judge Petrovsky entered the courtroom and sat down at her bench.

A commotion came over the courtroom as people again took their seats. Shuffling and talking came and grew. Even the officers by the judge's bench joined in.

Judge Petrovsky slammed down her gavel, instantly silencing everyone. "I _will_ have order in this court." Everyone sat down without another sound. "Tensions are running high here and I _will not_ have anyone making a mockery of my court." She paused for a moment giving people, as well as herself, time to calm down. "Now, has the jury reached a verdict?"

Mackenzie looked at the defendants out of the corner of her eye. Just that quick glance was enough to send a bone chilling shiver down her back.

Serena took her hand. "Are you okay? If this makes you feel too uncomfortable . . ."

Mackenzie shook her head. "No. I have to do this."

The jury foreperson quickly rose to her feet. "We have your honor."

Now it was Mackenzie's turn to keep telling herself to breathe.

"The defendants will rise."

The defense rose slowly, their previous cockiness now completely gone.

"On the first count to the defendant, Hector Alvarez, rape in the first degree, how does the jury find?"

"We find the defendant guilty."

"On the first count to the defendant Juan Alvarez, rape in the first degree, how does the jury find?"

"We find the defendant guilty."

Tears welled up in Mackenzie's eyes and her mind clouded over. She was so overwhelmed and relieved that after the first two verdicts were read, she could only pick out bits of what was being said.

"Kidnapping?'

"Guilty."

"Assault?"

"Guilty."

"Drug Trafficking?"

"Guilty."

"Possession with intent to distribute?"

"Guilty?"

Judge Petrovsky nodded and let a small smile show. She turned to Casey. "Good work counselor."

Casey smiled. "Thank-you your honor."

"Court in adjourned."

The defendants' side of the courtroom cleared out in an instant, but the prosecution side lingered. Everyone made their way through the gate to congratulate the new five-star attorney.

Despite the crowd, Mackenzie had no trouble getting through to Casey.

"Thank-you so much Casey."

Casey smiled. "Come here kid."

A reporter somehow managed to sneak in and snap a few candid pictures.


	33. The Final Goodbye

Well everyone, that time has come. It's been a long road, but we made it. Finally, the end of the line . . . the last and final chapter. Thank-you to all who have stuck with me through this whole adventure and thanks for the incredible reviews.

Happy Holidays!**

* * *

**

**Next Day – DA's Office Conference Room**

By a unanimous vote, all who had been invited decided to put off the 'victory' party for the night. Due to the overwhelming amounts of stress and emotions unearthed by the trials, all anyone wanted to do after the verdicts were rendered was sleep. Putting the party off for the night gave everyone the opportunity to finally put to rest all the demons awoken during the past few months.

With the help of many other people who were more than happy to help, the whole squad was able to get Saturday completely off. Most of the time, it was nearly impossible to find another captain and four detectives to take over a unit for a day. Multiply that by a hundred and you get how hard it is to find cops to cover SVU. But today was different. It actually seemed that people wanted to help today. In fact, so many people had volunteered to cover SVU's shifts that the squad got the whole weekend off. This was definitely one for the history books.

The activity in the DA's office greatly reduced on the weekends, making it the ideal place for their celebration. There were a few attorneys still around that had meetings, needed to use the law library, needed to access the legal computers or just preferred to do their work at the office rather than at home. Whatever the case, Casey's wins were both particularly high profile and made the DA's office look exceptionally good, so they stayed out of the squad's way.

Due to the lack of activity, Casey was able to book the biggest conference room for this get together. The music was playing, the food and drinks were set up and all that was lacking were the guests of honor: Casey, Alex, Olivia and Mackenzie. Well, Cragen also hadn't shown up, but he wasn't ask important as the four ladies of the squad.

Elliot, Fin and Munch were all standing around the food table when Casey walked through the door. "Okay boys, guy talk is over."

"Hey Casey, we were wondering when you were gonna show up."

"Well thanks Munch. It's great to know that I was missed."

Fin took the bottle of wind. "Hey, you brought alcohol. You were greatly missed."

"Now we can call this a party." Elliot chimed in.

Casey made her way over to the drink table and Fin pored her some wine. "So," She turned to Elliot. "Where is your better half?"

Elliot scoffed. "Better half? I am the better half." Everyone stopped talking and stared at the seasoned detective. "I have no idea where she is."

"Well you know," Munch began.

"Don't even start John."

As soon as Munch stopped complaining about the government turning Casey against him, everyone's attention was pulled to the radio, which had stopped playing music and was now telling of the latest news story.

"…_about twenty minutes ago. Four were killed in this accident, two adult females and one teenage girl. Nothing is yet known about the driver of the other vehicle responsible for this."_

No one uttered a word, but they were all thinking it. Before anyone had the chance to say anything, Cragen walked through the door very quietly with a solem expression on his face. "Turn on the television."

The weight of their captain's words hung in the air like a five-hundred pound pedophile. Everyone knew what the TV had to show, but no one wanted it to actually be real. It was like when toddlers cover their eyes and think nobody can see them. It was that same 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' mentality, only this was a very real adult situation.

Serena walked in behind Cragen, eyes read and swollen from crying. It wasn't unexpected that she was there. She was Mackenzie's lawyer and played a major part in getting Mackenzie ready for her trial. Words were not needed, Serena simply walked over to the television and pressed 'on.'

"_The latest news, the victims of the Upper East Side accident have been identified."_ The camera cut to the scene of the accident as the reporter continued to talk.

Casey looked to Serena who had tears rolling down her cheeks. "No, it can't be. It's a coincidence. How can three people who have a whole team of FBI agents assigned to them be killed in a car accident?"

The scene in front of them was more than anyone should be forced to see. There was obviously no censoring in this news segment. A large black SUV was no longer an SUV. The whole right side was smashed in, as was the front where the vehicle had been forced into a brick wall. Well, where the vehicle had been forced into what was once a brick wall. A close up of the totaled vehicle showed blood and hair on the shattered windows, seats and steering wheel. There had been no mercy in this accident.

The camera cut back to the reporter as she was handed a sheet of paper. _"The decedents have been identified as 38-year old Detective Olivia Benson of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, 32-year old former Special Victims Init Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot, who had just recently returned from almost two years in federal witness protection, their…their?" _The reporter looked confused for a moment. _"Their 16-year old daughter Mackenzie Cabot-Benson was also killed, and Special Agent Jared McGrath who was driving the vehicle is listed as being in critical condition."_

All, men included, had a steady stream of tears flowing down their faces. Casey kept shaking her head, trying not to believe it.

"_Two years ago this October, Alexandra Cabot's death was faked for her own safety, but there is no doubt in anyone's mind that this time, it is for real."_

The camera slowly turned from the reporter and focused in on the scene of the accident once again. One of the ambulances peered off, revealing three occupied stretchers.

"Damn it!" Elliot cursed.

Those thin little sheets they put over the bodies didn't hide anything. Olivia's signature boots poked out from underneath the first stretcher. A few wisps of golden blonde hair waved from under the second gurney. Those two clues in themselves, but they third body held the clue. An arm had fell off the third gurney revealing the tell tale clue.

Casey looked to Serena. "We gave her that bracelet."

Serena nodded. "Yeah we did."

**2 Days Later – Somewhere over Missouri**

The flight attendant walked down the aisle and stopped in front of a tall blonde-haired woman. "Excuse me, Ms. Taylor? . . Ms. Taylor?"

The blonde slowly picked her head up. "Me? . . Yes, sorry, what is it?"

"You have a phone call."

"Thank-you." She looked over to her sleeping daughter and then to her brown-haired partner. A silent nod spoke volumes.

The flight attendant showed her to the phone and then headed back up to the head of the plane. "Jenn Taylor speaking. . ."

"_Alex, its Hammond. I just wanted to tell you that everything is set here. The accident worked and the funeral was . . .it was a nice funeral."_

"Thank-you sir. I'll have to check my schedule once I get home, but I don't think there will be a problem."

"_Good girl Alex. Give Olivia and that cute kid of yours my best."_

"Will do sir." She lowered her voice "And thank-you, for everything."

"_Not a problem."_

"Bye" And with the click of the phone, Alexandra Cabot was no more.

* * *

Look for the sequel next year. 


End file.
